Ive been seeing a woman we are both in our late 30’s for about 5 months, and got introduced with her young children and her parents a couple of times. Everything was great then her child had problems at school, the ex of 2 years ago and the father of the children got involved, then straight away after 20 odd texts a day cut down to 2 a day. I decided to turn up with some flower to show my support as knew something was wrong. She wasn’t home so went in her friends shop to see if they knew what time she would be back who then told her I was in the village, with that I received a txt saying is this true and why was I about and to go as she didn’t want me at the house when she returned. I went back to her friends shop to ask if they knew what was wrong and had they said anything about me being there as wanted it to be a surprise. Since then by txt it has got totally out of hand where the friends have said things and she has taken what Ive said wrong, now she wants me to leave her alone as she thinks its not normal turning up the way I did and she is scared I will turn up again which I has said I wont.
Reason #2 – Creates Feeling of Loss: Another reason to use no contact is, it helps in developing the feelings of loss in your ex boyfriend’s mind. Your boyfriend will start thinking why she is not calling me. He will start getting second-guessing to his decision of breaking up with you. Once he starts getting these second-guessing thoughts it will be great helpful for you.
In the succeeding weeks it struck me that that rabbit's hole was a good off-beat place to take a date. So I convinced the girl I was currently dating more or less unsuccessfully to accompany me there. She was impressed by the place, dusting off a chair before she sat on it. I sprang for two love potions. Mine seemed bluer than that of my date. The drink left me tingling, a feeling I recognized from having tried certain bizarre liquors in the past. The whole experience was fun and probably worthwhile. The lady had a small garden in the back of her shop. But my love life did not improve. Neither did that of my girl friend, unless it was with someone I did not know about. I tried the potion a couple of more times, but nothing good happened.

He broke up with me a week ago over the phone. We were together for 7 months and had a deep connection. I have not contacted him since. Yesterday I received a text from him explaining why he did it and apology. Pretty much he is not over his divorce, has health issues, dealing with work problems, trying to work on a relationship with his kids and now is not a good time and not fair to me to continue the relationship. Should I respond or keep no contact for 30 days? Or should I acknowledge the text and respond?
Been trying to slowly get my long distance ex back since January, and we’re on speaking terms again now, and even though that’s a huge step forward, I still have doubt. He’s always been a kind of distant person, and since he first reached out to me like 2 months back, I have initiated all conversations since then. I’m suspecting that’s what you call the hot and cold-treatment? Still, I really wanna get him to open up and finally realize that he loves me after all. If y’all have any more tips, I’d love to hear them. 

Me and my girl been dating for almost 18 months. And I became depending and demanding which leads to posessive attitude. Starts acting jealous and shit. The last months before we broke up we had a huge fight. We yelled to each other, and she hits and kicks me like crazy and I lose my temper back then. I slap her cheek once (not in purpose) and I cried over her because I felt so wronged for doing that. Things seems to go well, but all of a sudden she blow up some litlle mess into a reason for broke me up. She oftenhy hide something for me. Even lied to me. But I don’t know, my heart still beats for her. I even saw still her posting pics on our date. Been 6 months since we broke up and she never respond to my text and calls. I tried to hold it, but last week we talked through text. And I begged her to come back. Remind her things we used to do. But the answer is “no, I can’t be with you anymore” “don’t bother me!” “Go find another girl, or either I will” . She’s an introvert. I always honest to her. Never mess with any other girl. And I’m the one who took her virginity. I feel responsible for that. I don’t want another man used her! Need to get her back. But none of no talking method works. I feel guilty when I text and begged her after months I gave her own space to cool down. :( I really love her man. Please help me. Desperately needed advice. Thanks a lot. -z-
My story seems to be a bit different then most. So without trying to bore you completely I’ll give you the basics. I met my ex in high school and boy did I hate her she was that annoying chick in class I couldn’t stand. After high school I began hanging out with her with my best friend, now the big twist begins here. I had left my house with my boy and her there and one thing led to another and they ended up hanging out afterward and having a kid. I wasn’t mad at either of them bc I never expressed my feelings for her before hand. There son was 3 months old when they broke up, I lost contact with my buddy but regained connection with her and as friends went to eat with her. Ever since that day we were inseparable, she was my best friend my lover and in my eyes soon to be wife. Her son was 1 1/2 when we found out we were having a little girl. She did not want to have another child which forced a argument of her wanting a abortion. After consideration she decided it wasn’t the right thing to do and proceeded with the pregnancy. We had our baby girl dec 24,2011 best day of my life. Now she will be 2 In a month me and the ex are broken up and she is out partying like she is 16 everyday I get my daughter. She has lied to me and put me threw a lot but I can’t help but want her back, I mean guys she is the mother of my child. She wants nothing to do with me, took me for child support and custody. Am I crazy for thinking it’s not over and trying every opportunity I get to get her back and persuade her. What could I do to win her over, I love her with all my heart and want to spend the rest of my life with her, my daughter and her son who I’ve taken in as my own. Help, advice?! Bare with me it’s a open wound.
Please hear my prayer my boyfriend of 12 yrs is cheating on me . We have two kids together. I love him so much that I’m willing to forgive him and keep my family together . He’s my best friend and I feel like I’ve lost him . Lord Jesus I ask that to clear his mind and realize that he has true love at home , please lord bring him back home to his family and remove this woman out his life who’s interfering with what we have which is a beautiful family.
So…I had been in a few relationships earlier but they were not too serious and were so immature. Then for a long period of about 3 years…I was single and I was quite enjoying my life. I met this guy at a concert and felt attracted…and before we can proceed, the very next day he proposed me. I knew that this was mere attraction so I declined and told him what I felt. But then.. After some days..I felt I needed him and so we came into relationship. He had a previous relationship with a girl for 2 years with which he didn’t felt attached. And so…he had approached me. Well our relationship was obviously a non serious one at initial stages…but as we proceeded…he started falling for me …even I felt the same. He said he was glad to find me ..and that I changed his life for better… It was all like a sweet dream till 5 months. He was too serious..he even planned everything about our future…and introduced me to his family. Obviously we had a few differences on some matters but we always ended up being together. And then one day… I found him flirting with a random girl on social site…I bit of overreacted..and all was a mess…and he asked for second chances… I said I needed time…and he said no he will prefer being single…and I said ok.
Avoiding contact is not just a passive-aggressive way to make your ex miss you. It gives you time to do the things you need to do to prepare yourself for a new relationship (whether it's with your ex or someone new!). Take time during this month to get to know yourself as an individual and to work on areas that you may have let slip during your relationship with your ex. If you contributed to the breakup, this is the time to pinpoint your relationship weaknesses and do the hard work to improve as a human being.
Always keep in mind, an attractive women to a man is someone who knows how to balance being independent and shows his softer vulnerable so his boyfriend able to ‘protect’ her. Even if you don’t want to be protected by anyone then still you have to show some vulnerability to awaken your man’s natural protection ability. A man who protects you is a man who is deeply connected with you in a relationship.
let me ask something.this is the second time that me and my ex boyfriend breaks up or he broke up with me.but this is the worst one.i felt he moved on already because he defriended me included my friends who were his friends on facebook. i knew,he loves me so much but we couldn’t just get a right time to think better and then we ended up arguements.i loved him too.i learnd i have mistakes.tell me please,is there any possibilities to get back together and reconciled?how i read your tips..but in our situations like these.im sure he’s very mad at me and giving up on me.he never replies my emails and text.i wanna try to reconciled with him but how? i know i cannot make a move ist .i want him to see im changed .i want him realized he made a huge mistakes.please email me for some advices.thank you

If a couple works at being together and trying to understand each other, they may well succeed. I have to admit I feel a little uncertain about this matter. I think if a relationship can be made to work, each person should give it a good try. On the other hand, I don’t think anyone should settle for someone who has to be coaxed into caring for him or her. (c) Fredric Neuman.  Follow Dr. Neuman's blog at fredricneumanmd.com/blog or ask advice at fredricneumanmd.com/blog/ask-dr-neuman-advice-column/

This article sounds good i want my ex to come back to me, only becouse we had a great relationship and i never wanted him to leave. It was he who said that it was nfot going to work anymore just becouse she started a new job and didn’t have the time and let’s be honest he was lazy and didn’t wanted to commit at the end… Anyway i know he is the one for me all is needed is for him to make the decition and take responsibility. Does that sounds like i am desparate and do you think we should be thogether if i have done all for us and he saw a little obsticle on the way and decided he can’t do it.?…..


Ive been seeing a woman we are both in our late 30’s for about 5 months, and got introduced with her young children and her parents a couple of times. Everything was great then her child had problems at school, the ex of 2 years ago and the father of the children got involved, then straight away after 20 odd texts a day cut down to 2 a day. I decided to turn up with some flower to show my support as knew something was wrong. She wasn’t home so went in her friends shop to see if they knew what time she would be back who then told her I was in the village, with that I received a txt saying is this true and why was I about and to go as she didn’t want me at the house when she returned. I went back to her friends shop to ask if they knew what was wrong and had they said anything about me being there as wanted it to be a surprise. Since then by txt it has got totally out of hand where the friends have said things and she has taken what Ive said wrong, now she wants me to leave her alone as she thinks its not normal turning up the way I did and she is scared I will turn up again which I has said I wont.
I had already been arguing with my girlfriend for awhile, I had been sick and on alot of medication one night when she called and tho has got heated. The next day I saw she had took us off of a relationship on Facebook and I lost it, I gave her my password and she out of current mistrust searched through my emails. She took a light hearted conversation to be factual and believes that I am a cheater and our relationship was over a long time ago. It’s still fresh, I have sent her a very brief letter trying to keep an image that I have calmed down now, and apologized once again for how cruel I was, and for even saying the things I had. I sent her mother a 4 pg front and back letter explaining in order of occurrence everything, assuring I am not a cheater and just everything, I was completely honest, and mature in every way. This had truly heart broken me, I may not be ready to get married just yet, but she’s who I would want to be with for the rest of my life, I wouldn’t ever cheat on her, EVER :(
Often the problems that are truly unmanageable occur when both partners have opposing interests. Here are some examples: one person tries to dominate the other, one person wishes to leave the home whenever he/she chooses, one person reserves the right to see friends all during the week, one person is a philanderer, one person assigns work to the other, one person refuses responsibility for a child, one person begrudges spending money on the other or on the family. Naturally, the other spouse will resent being dominated, or ignored, or taken advantage of. These problems cannot be resolved just by understanding the other better. These are examples of one person putting himself/herself first. When a couple has opposing interests, the problems they develop are likely to prove intractable.
My god, you have described men to a ‘t’! Any man that’s rotunda having had a lot of ego & the truth is they are pussycsts underneath! Thankyou for this – it’s saved my heart as it’s reminded me of everything I already know but sealed it, no empathy and heart break after being left with our tiny baby after being very in love or atleast I thought we were! Apparently he wants to ‘be free’ and not be ‘ tied down’! Says he doesn’t love me, never did but tried! I’m a fairly ok attractive woman (just so you don’t think he pulled out bcs I have one leg or something) so much so that he begged me to get a tattoo of his initials as he loved me so much! but I pulled out. How does that work then????am mans madly in love with you, sees you vulnerable and kegs it! Nice ?
“He’s the Guy for me,” we need to end things on a good note, and I havent “Lost his Friendship”! WTF!!!! I had no words for him at that moment. I vowed I would’nt call him at ALL after that. Nine days passed & I txt him, “Hello Friend”. Only to never recieve a response. This led to me having a complete MELT DOWN on his VM. It was’nt a name calling blaming episode. It was more of the atleast talk to me if you ever really cared about us sort of thing. After that I went out for a few hours came home and decided I needed to forgive him and love him enough to let him go. SOOOOOO, I txt him before I went to sleep and told him just that I also told him that if found himself ever needing a real friend I would be here for him.. Now what I neeed to know is what if anything should I have done differently? Is there another element that I don’t know about like, some new Vagina dancing around my man???? Should I even care at this point? I really want my man back I LOVE him so much and his kids as well.. What is a women to do? What’s going on here??? PLease HELLLp.
it has been difficult at times to accept the fact from him that his father would never be ready to accept our relationship. in other words, i am scared to fall apart without him. although i neglect the fact that i am not much attached to him. but all these words are utterly false whereas i am deeply in love with him and fail to imagine my life without him. Father,my lord,its true i have never longed for him and now the situation is when i don’t want to abandon him. i love him. i really love him and want to hold him closer to me for ever and ever after.
When negative things happen, avoid being critical or contemptuous. Don’t say things that begin with “You never…,” “You always…,” or (my favorite) “You’re such a…” Calmly explain why you see the situation, not the spouse, as negative, and why it upsets you. In the ensuing conversation don’t get defensive, but don’t refuse to talk, either. Inject a little positivity into the conversation or argument. For example, try a little humor to lighten up the situation a bit, if you think your spouse would be receptive. If the humor backfires, simply be honest and explain that you want to diffuse the tension and you really don’t want to fight.
Recall those early days of your relationship when your partner could not get enough of you. He or she would call constantly, stay on the phone for hours, talk with you all night. Now time has passed, and you no longer get butterflies in your tummy when you think of your sweetheart. The spark is gone. You still have romantic feelings for him or her, but you sense that your partner no longer cares as much about the relationship — or at least not as much as you do. You no longer have the upper hand.
Be honest about how you feel, within reason. Don't tell her what she might have done wrong in the relationship. Instead, focus on you. Let her know that you've thought a lot about where things went wrong, and show her all the ways in which you've changed. Tell her how you've become more patient, more forgiving, more aware of your own shortcomings, and be sure to back it up with action. If you say you've become more forgiving, be able to show her that you're not as quick to point out other peoples' faults.
My ex came over for some of his stuff was amazed how the house looked, I did some rearranging. He said twice that the house looks nice and that I looked happy and then stated that he was probably the one holding me back. He said this about 2 times, the second time he said it I ask why he is saying something like that and he said he said he know perhaps he just feels guilty and so I told him that he wasn’t holding me back and then he notice I had a mini burn on my hand and ask me what happened I told him I got burnt from the stove. And so I got ready while he was checking his email on the computer, pretending that I was going out and he ask if I’m going some where and I said yes. And then I tease him a bit about his hair since he havnt. After that he said I looked happy and I said I am, that stuff got shift these pass weeks. And when he came out the gate walking on the road he said it again that I looked happy and I said I am. And so since he doesn’t have FB I texted him suggesting he get a fb account and add me, personally it would have been good if he saw some stuff I posted. Anyway he respond and said
The relationship is going really well in the beginning. You are seeing each other often and enjoy one another. You begin to prioritize him over other things going on in your life, like hobbies or nights out with friends. You tell yourself you are comfortable and don’t need to be “out there.” Everything is just the way you like it until … for some reason, you feel him pulling away.
My ex-boyfriend and I have been together for a year and two months. Recently he told me that he is conflicted over him wanting to be with men and wanting to be with me. We spent all our time together and he always took care of me and wrote me sweet cards during our relationship. He told me he was struggling with reaching out to other men and felt like doing so during our relationship would be hurting me. He told me that he cares for and loves me but that he needed time to find out what he wanted and that he would come back to me if he isn’t gay and things aren’t good like what we have. He also said there is nothing I did but that he feels different. He’s been in several relationships with women but I’m his first for everything. I’m 22 and he is 21 and I have had more relationships than him. He feels like he hasn’t explored everything and doesn’t know himself well enough.
Be honest with each other. Being honest is a kind of vulnerability, and by being honest with your partner, you show that you trust him or her. Try opening up about what you're thinking and feeling. When you're vulnerable, you're inviting your partner in and asking him or her to be equally as honest. However, it's important to continue using "I" statements to tell how you feel instead of blaming the other person.[11]
please help me out. my ex broke up with with because she said she was tired of the relationship. i met another lady and we are dating. My ex girl who was in the states has now come back to the country and wants us to trash our differences and make up. but am in another relationship and i love this new girl. However, seeing my ex girl again brought back memories and the love i had for her but scared she will be stubborn again. i dont know who should i continue my life with since my current girl has done nothing to me and also loves me

hi, last sunday my boyfriend broke up with me. i dont know if its totally broke up because he only said to me that “lets end this, i have so many problems right now and im so tired.” i asked him if he dont like me anymore. he said “yes, i dont. i just want to be alone now, pls.”. i cant accept the fact that we broke up and he never even explain to me the reason. all his saying is he had so many problems but he dont want to discuss with me thats why i cant understand him why he so stress about. so i gave what he want, i didnt talk to him ever since, its almost 2 days already. but i miss him. and i know he love me too. maybe something really happened that why i gave him what he want. if he really want to be alone. he also never msg me since then. do i just let him alone first. you think he will call me soon? i really want him back. im trying my best not to msg or call him. hopefully soon he will realize that he miss me too. i know its because of stress and anger thats why all of a sudden he said those things to me.
Well, now you have to meet your ex. When you contact your ex, you need to ask them to meet you. But do not call it a date. Do not even talk about getting back together. Just say you want to “catch up” or “hang out together”. Try to keep it short, like a lunch or coffee. The date has to be in setting where you can leave easily if you sense that things are going south.

Me and my girl been dating for almost 18 months. And I became depending and demanding which leads to posessive attitude. Starts acting jealous and shit. The last months before we broke up we had a huge fight. We yelled to each other, and she hits and kicks me like crazy and I lose my temper back then. I slap her cheek once (not in purpose) and I cried over her because I felt so wronged for doing that. Things seems to go well, but all of a sudden she blow up some litlle mess into a reason for broke me up. She oftenhy hide something for me. Even lied to me. But I don’t know, my heart still beats for her. I even saw still her posting pics on our date. Been 6 months since we broke up and she never respond to my text and calls. I tried to hold it, but last week we talked through text. And I begged her to come back. Remind her things we used to do. But the answer is “no, I can’t be with you anymore” “don’t bother me!” “Go find another girl, or either I will” . She’s an introvert. I always honest to her. Never mess with any other girl. And I’m the one who took her virginity. I feel responsible for that. I don’t want another man used her! Need to get her back. But none of no talking method works. I feel guilty when I text and begged her after months I gave her own space to cool down. :( I really love her man. Please help me. Desperately needed advice. Thanks a lot. -z-
I just hope we get back. We talk but not as much. Look depressed in class when he don’t talk to me. I want to change myself. He’s the only thing that makes my day. God please let everything work. Everyone please pray for me that get him back. Tomorrow I’m actually going to talk to him. Go please let this conversation go well tomorrow, I don’t want to bring up the past, I want to work on the future with him. Please GOD, I’m begging you please god let everything go well between us. I never I want to make the same mistake ever. I know I might be 13 but you can found love at any age. And just because y’all say I love you doesn’t prove anything, you have to show that person how much you love them. And that’s what I have to do. But lady’s out their, if are reading this y’all both have to comment to what y’all say. Keeping a promise is one. I lost someone that was important to me, now I’m trying to get this person back. But I’m not getting in his face I’m backing up a little
If you do happen to hear through the grapevine that your ex is seeing someone new, try not to jump to conclusions or let jealousy set in. By no means should you do anything to try to thwart a new relationship. Let your ex have some time to find out if you are really the one; you don't want to force a person to be with you who really wants to be with someone else.
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