Hi Desireen. Nope…you are not crazy! You just want to figure out how to make things feel better for yourself and improve your chances. Its OK that you may have made some mistakes. He made plenty to. We all do. What matters is going forward and what you do. So its good to have an ex recovery plan, both for yourself and also doing things to optimize your chances of getting your ex back. My program is all about that. Go to my site’s home page to learn more about my ebooks, tools, resources, and many other things!
And now he is texting me everyday, not a lot but to know how i’m doing, says I can talk to him whenever I want, that he wants us to stay best friends like we used to and that he wants me to “be myself” with him, text him whatever I want…But I know he doesnt really want to talk to me, like if he has a problem he will go to someone else. I think he is mostly being nice, and trying to ease the break up for himself by not losing me completely (he said that if we keep talking its easier cause it’s “more normal”).

Thank you so much. The article helps me so much to feel better. My boyfriend just broke up with me today and I cant accept it. But the reason is i was cheating on him with my boss. My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year and 6 months. We’ve been broken up for dozens of times but we still keep on trying and hoping it will work out. Because of my broken family,I needed more attention from my boyfriend and I started to act needy and Jealous.He’s sick and tired of it but because he loves me,he’s always giving me chances to work it out. I know we’re on the edge and that made me think “what if I’m with another guy who I can be trusted financially?”


Use that time to really understand what happened. Dating coach, Lisa Shield, adds: "There's a lot of fear when we try to put ourselves out there after having our hearts broken. Many of us don't have a good enough understanding of what we did wrong in the past. So, how are we going to prevent it from happening again? If you can, talk to a dating coach or relationship expert who can guide you to that understanding. Because, if you don't make sense of the past, it's going to be really hard to move forward."
This advice goes against every single natural inclination you have and it’s hard. You’ll want to answer the points she’s making and show her why she’s wrong. You’ll want to get a second chance or promise to fix your mistakes. You’ll keep pushing your points and think that since she’s not answering you right away; you’re getting through to her. You’re not. You’re just making her uncomfortable. All you’re doing is making yourself appear needy. She’s not going to forget this behavior down the line when you try to win her back.
I really enjoyed this article. It made me feel better about my situation perhaps hopeful. My boyfriend I started dating over 4 1/2 years ago and he broke up with me six months ago. Since then we’ve seen each other quite a few times. But it’s been difficult . Shortly after breakinh up it came up in conversation that he was no longer in love with me. Of course I was shocked because I couldn’t understand how someone could fall out of love so quickly. Since then we’ve met on several occasions. we don’t argue anymore and things are generally amicable between us.
Oh, no 🙁 I had a really absurd fight with the best BF I’ve ever had (which is not hard to do, I have dated some serious jerks) and I managed to get him back for a whole week and a half before we got snippy and he suddenly was breaking it off with me. The relationship was long-distance and he wants to be friends, but I just spent a week and a half more making an a** of myself. Is there any redemption? I don’t even know how to do this at a distance (I was going to move there, for the record) and after I was so weak. Argh D:
St. Jude, please pray for me and watch over my relationship. I’m so confused as to why things aren’t going smoothly and why he doesn’t realize my love for him. I ask that you may help us, and strengthen us. That our love may grow as well as our faith, loyalty, respect and above all trust. I ask that you may help me and guide me into the path that I’m meant to be on, and also that he may not take it for granted. Please help me St. Jude, I’m not sure what to do or how to feel. I feel so hopeless, the disrespect, and I feel the drive to fight for me fading…. please help it stop. Please let things get better between us. Because it’s him, and I love him to much to stop fighting for him. I just pray that he feels the same for me. I trust in you. Amen.
I dont know what to write to him! NC is almost over and he has no social media so he has no idea what I’ve been doing. He also hasn’t contacted me which is okay. I’ve jotted down tons of ideas for my first email to him but I’m very scared. Hes always suspicious of people so I dont want to sound too needy or like I’m trying to use him. He might think if I’m messaging him a month later that I want to use him…hes stubborn as hell as well.
Your number one advantage in any breakup situation is to let it happen without fighting her choice to leave. No matter what choice words are running through your mind as she’s spewing her breakup in your general direction, hold your tongue. She has made her decision and at this point, you can’t make her rethink that choice. The last thing you want is another screaming match. Just put your hands in your pockets and wait until she leaves before you start hitting the wall.
Alright, so the biggest thing I want you to focus on for the no contact period is the fact that you are using this month to become the best version of yourself that you have ever been. There is a 100% chance, especially if you are ignoring him, that your ex is going to check up on you during this period and instead of sulking around feeling sorry for yourself he is going to see a strong, sexy, fun-having woman!
i guess that made him feel like under the surface nothing has changed the thing is everything has changed he says he loves me but he’s not sure of the success of our relationship because of past performance but he wants to try a part of him says he doesn’t want me to wait for him cause he doesn’t know at the moment i guess because of the recent fight we had but also because he’s tired of going through everything but i dont blame him he deserves better this is why im trying i know im emotionally messed i have depression and push ppl away i dont mean to do this im actually thinking of going to couples therapy with him because that would really see if we should be together and after that if not then we would have to go our seperate ways i guess but im not giving up on him because for three years he enver gave up on me not once he loved me thru all the bullshit i put him thru..im sorry im really sorry
So remember, YOU control the amount of mate value that women perceive in you – meaning you DO have the power to get her back, AND to get girls more attractive than her, if you want them. This is why I created this website – to help you control (increase) your mate value and become the attractive man who can entice his ex back, regardless of your occupation, salary looks etc.
So, follow the advice above, and then do this - do more of the above. Lots more. The common thread Gottman found that predicts divorce so well is weaved into it, and it is this: for a marriage to be stable, you must have lots more positive interactions than negative interactions. How much more? Twice as much? No. Three times as much? No. The positive has to outweigh the negative by at least five to one. This is not a number pulled out of a hat. It is a fact.
"While some marriages end because both spouses want out, most troubled marriages have a spouse who wants to save the marriage," says Joe Beam, PhD, the founder and chair of Marriage Helper, adding that when there's someone still fighting for the marriage, there's hope that love can be renewed. "If you have a personal belief and value system that motivates you to finish what you start — especially if you feel that marriage is a life-long commitment—that's a sign things can look up."
Throughout our courtship, I was utterly under the control of my ex-girlfriend. I let her walk all over me. She would call me at 4 A.M. and only stop calling when I answered. Being in college, I decided to drive down south where she lived to see if our relationship could work. I asked Mary to wait for me while I figured it out. She didn’t want to. Obviously.
In 2012, my little brother Adam died. My life shattered, and I spent the next month drunk in bed. It had been four years since Mary and I had spoken, but it spoke volumes to me that she came out of the woodwork to send me a handwritten note expressing her sorrow for Adam’s death. Through everything—the fights, the skipped plans, the immaturity—she found it in herself to reach out to me. I was blown away, and she was back in my life. We learned that we only lived a few blocks away from each other, and that is how we started dating for the fourth and final time. Once again we started seeing each other as friends. We always met up at this one café in the Lower East Side. I’d get a coffee, and she’d get a bagel.
My ex broke up with me about two weeks ago. He says he was tied of arguing. He was saying another girl a couple times but they are no longer talking. He always text me calls me and wants me to hang out with him or stay the night at my place. He text me when I’m at work with xoxo and always says he loves me and is more affectionate toward me now then when we were together. But he still says he dosn’t want a girlfriend right now I’m confused.
My ex bf and I live together. He said he will never change his mind. He says he is moving out. I have no proof. He hasn’t told his family we are broken up, for over a month now. He got on tinder immediately and is now off tinder. He is posting videos from a vacation of our from almost a year ago. I am living my life and going out trying to be social. How can I get him back?
I was with my ex for 9 years off and on. We broke up a lot. I was immature. Shes older. She told me I was her soul mate. I felt the same but couldnt show it. I would text her amazing words but when she would see me I couldnt back thenlm up or say them in person. I was depressed and lacked confidence. She finally had enough and told me she was done and I should move on. She has blocked me to and called me a stalker once or twice. Ive never even drove by her house or wrote her a letter. We were together 9 years! How can she call me a stalker? Because I love her and am trying to show her? Well, I realized in the last 3 months that I didnt appreciate her when I had the chance and I hurt her. I never gave her time or space enough to heal and so she took it. Now I dont think she has forgiven me for not giving her that space. I dont know. Fact is bro that women are capable of pure evil when they are hurt by the man they truly loved. When they stop talking all together its because they killed that amazing love they once cherished. 

We’ll i hope theres someone out there that can truly help me with all BS aside… Im senior at my hight school and my girlfriend is a junior. I know my girlfriend left me for pressuring her of wanting to hang out more when she was busy with school… But i have an explanation for my behavior…soo me and my girl friend where going to be 1 year in may 8th of 2014 but she broke up with me may 4th :,( … Im not going to lie i would get mad at my girlfriend but its only cuz i wanted to talk to her more…try to understand that i started going out with her my junior year with 2 months of school left and then i got use to seeing her everyday and hanging out with her nearly everyday…so once school started , it was hard for me to make that transition of not seeing/hanging out with her so i would finish my hwk and work hard so i could talk to her yet sometimes she would procrastinate so most of the time she called to say goodnight and i just felt bad cuz i really love this girl and wanted to talk to her ….im not going to lie we both have our attitudes but ill admit me more than her …she never did nothing but love me…she didnt judge me even though im pretty skinny yet i would be an ass and jude her at time …ima admit compared to her i was an ass …all i really wanted to do was keep communication but i added more stress on top of her school stress …now shes gone and its been 5 days since she broke up with me on may 4th and its just really hard cuz shes tells me that shell think of me and her getting back together but that she wont consider it…so it just brings me down….we’ve been through so much for her to just cut it …her mom and dad were surprised that she broke up with me cuz they even said i respected her a lot …so im trying not to listen to her negative comments because she might not mean it and shes just saying it right now so i figured ill give her space but i really need some advice to win her back …i want her back and i just cant let go…don’t think that because were teenagers its just young foolish love …i really do love her and believe anything is possible …after all we did start of as strangers and she rejected me the first time and after 2 months i asked her and won her…this girl is really special and i know i took her for granted and that was wrong of me…HELP PLEASE… Ima give her space and not text her or do anything else so she can hopefully think of things but i honestly need advice..please
Been trying to slowly get my long distance ex back since January, and we’re on speaking terms again now, and even though that’s a huge step forward, I still have doubt. He’s always been a kind of distant person, and since he first reached out to me like 2 months back, I have initiated all conversations since then. I’m suspecting that’s what you call the hot and cold-treatment? Still, I really wanna get him to open up and finally realize that he loves me after all. If y’all have any more tips, I’d love to hear them.
Personally, I wouldn’t consider it an emergency if he’s without some of his stuff. However, if for whatever the reason he was so worried something happened to you, at some point he would ACTUALLY start looking for you, whether it’s at work or at home, in which you would find it sweet of course, but at the same time you can tell him you’re fine and just need some space.
My first ever boyfriend of 4 years plus broke up with me by saying “let’s just be friends”, “I don’t see a future with you anymore, I’ve tried but I just can’t.”, “You’ve to understand that it’s not you, it’s me. Even if you change, I’ll still be the same and eventually the same problem will unfold and we’ll quarrel again”. I’ve sent him threads of messages saying I’ll change and will be able to overlook issues and gradually hope that things will change for the better, but he seems to have made up his mind and wanna end this relationship with me.
One great piece of advice that you’ll find in my Free Email Article Series is the importance of spending time together with no “marriage talk” and no pressure. Just to remember that you can enjoy each other’s company. (This might pleasantly surprise both of you when there is less anger in the air). This is Allison and I in Cape Cod Last Year celebrating 12 years!

I do not understand why there are so many people online claiming they can get your ex back for you. My question is why would anybody want to have their ex back inspite of the breakup. Breakups happen for a reason. And ex’s are always troublemakers. Even if one does patch up, these relationship do not work. Better to start a new relationship then to try and repair and waste time on the troublesome old one. Why try and repair an old truck with no available spare parts.

Im so confused my bf of 1 yr broke up with me in October i was ready to move on when he started texting me and wanted to see me i keep saying no until i gave in and accepted.. we started hanging out and spending time together and all the rest.. Out of nowhere he decided that it’s time to move on and want us to stop seeing eachother, he keeps telling me that he loves me and it shows we have so much fun together, but he is so against to give out relationship another chance not now and not later he says… i dont know what to do we love each other and i know we can make this work.. he even told me that he is ready to see someone else already but there’s noone else in his life at this point. We just sent NYE together should i believe that he really moved on so quick or is he just trying to push me away.. Since we broke up I haven’t really give him time to miss me i have been there for him all the time, after the break up he started going out all the time and he had a car accident i was the one he called to be with him… Now im so confused any adviced??
Then and there, don't analyze, argue or talk about negative stuff. Turn the page. Keep walking in a new direction. It's your ex-boyfriend that will become your new girlfriend, it's you – his ex-girlfriend, that will become a new girlfriend. Give each other a clean slate. When you leave the place, don't kiss. Give him a deep gaze, let your eyes, not your mouth say: I love you.

True intimacy involves self-reflection and transparency, both of which play a role in accountability. Self-reflection occurs when each partner can honestly, without pride, examine their thoughts and behaviors and take ownership for their intentions and possible “wrong-doing.” If one or both members of a couple are incapable of doing this, a marriage cannot move forward in a healthy way.
NOTE: YOUR mate value/perceived superiority is as high as your behavior makes it, and is only partially related to your job, income, looks etc. This is why no guy reading this has any excuse for not being able to become the kind of guy his ex wants for a relationship. You CAN become that guy (again), and I’m happy to teach you how. Begin the process with my chances of getting your ex back quiz. Your results page will then guide you further from there on what to do to get this girl back.

Gandhi said a famous quote that can be perfectly adapted to this type of situation: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” In love, just like in life in general, we have the tendency to expect a lot from others and end up being disappointed. You can keep blaming others (including your significant other) but if you want to take control of the situation you’ll have to stop doing that. When you’re thinking, “I want to save my relationship and i need a marriage help” you have to become the example.
I’ve been with my girlfriend for over a year, and she just broke up with me because she seems to care more about her friends than she does our relationship. she wont make time for me and ever sinse we split she refuses to talk to me. I’m heartbroken completely. because we used to be perfect. how do i get her to speak to me again even though she doesnt want to, i need her, please help!
So, find out what messed up your relationship and work on it. Were you too cranky, moody, jealous, demanding, insane, nagging-all-day, not giving him his space and freedom, disrespectful, got fat, made out with another guy, or you just sucked in bed? Whichever it was – fix it. He needs to see that, after a month or so of breaking up, you are progressing; suddenly you became a different person. But do it for you, not for him. Once he sees how much different you became he'll wish you never broke up in the first place, he'll want to give the whole thing another chance too.
One great piece of advice that you’ll find in my Free Email Article Series is the importance of spending time together with no “marriage talk” and no pressure. Just to remember that you can enjoy each other’s company. (This might pleasantly surprise both of you when there is less anger in the air). This is Allison and I in Cape Cod Last Year celebrating 12 years!
I am asking for prayers. As I am going through a rough time, and am doing everything I can to save my relationship, I pray. Lord, I pray and ask you to hear me. I pray that you give me the strength to overcome this trial you have placed in front of me, so I can move forward. I lift up my relationship to you and pray for healing. I pray that the love that I know still remains can be rekindled, and that you restore the connection that was once had. I pray that you remind him of all of the great times you blessed us with, and all of the tribulations we have overcome together. I pray that he knows how much I truly love and cherish him. I pray that you remove any temptation that may be hindering the love we have between us. I pray that you restore the strength within the two of us as one. Lord, I’m asking you to hear my prayers and I thank you for blessing me with this love. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
He broke up with me a week ago over the phone. We were together for 7 months and had a deep connection. I have not contacted him since. Yesterday I received a text from him explaining why he did it and apology. Pretty much he is not over his divorce, has health issues, dealing with work problems, trying to work on a relationship with his kids and now is not a good time and not fair to me to continue the relationship. Should I respond or keep no contact for 30 days? Or should I acknowledge the text and respond?
I met my husband at a party when I was 17. I saw him and I was hit with a ton of bricks. We spent most of the night talking (and kissing), and I was on a cloud. We dated for a few months and while the relationship was short, it was extremely significant to me. He was just different from the rest and I was devastated when it ended, like completely crushed.
Your relationship with a special guy has come and gone, but now you want him back. It's not unheard of for a couple to get back together after they've taken time away from each other, so don't give up hope. Just be sure to put plenty of thought into the reasons you broke up before attempting to get back together, as this can help you make the relationship work the second time around.
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