My partner and I have been together a little over two years but recently broke up (he broke up with me) and I want to follow all these rules, as I believe I am strong enough to do it and I absolutely want him back however we do currently live together and study at the same school. I’m living in a new town and don’t have any family or friends here so providing space is hard. What do I do???
Unfortunately, partners often go through mutual misunderstandings, because no one teaches us how to act in a relationship. What we see on TV and in movies, what we are told by many friends, about the behavior of men and women is most often very far from reality. So if you are blaming yourself, I am telling you to stop! It is possible that not everything in the demise of your relationship is your fault! If you would have known exactly what to do to keep your couple in a happy state, I’m sure you would have done everything that depended on you. Most likely you just didn’t have the right information. But everything can still be fixed...
If you do happen to hear through the grapevine that your ex is seeing someone new, try not to jump to conclusions or let jealousy set in. By no means should you do anything to try to thwart a new relationship. Let your ex have some time to find out if you are really the one; you don't want to force a person to be with you who really wants to be with someone else.
In my career, many girls keep on mentioning either one of above issues to explain the reason for their breakup. It is very important to keep in mind that your relationship doesn’t come to an end just because you said certain words or did something that lead to breakup. If your relationship with your ex boyfriend was base on solid foundation then few words or actions can’t come over the long work you did before.
My boyfriend just broke up with me a week ago. We had been dating about 4 months. The first two months of our relationship, he worked a normal 9-5 job and we were able to see each other once, twice, or even more times a week. In December he went back to working a completely opposite shift as me, and six days a week, meaning that we had very little time to see each other. Only about once every week to two weeks. We talked about how difficult it was to see each other because of his work schedule, but that he really cared about me and was going to try to make it work because it meant something to him. The next time I saw him three weeks later, he said that he didn’t think he would be able to commit the time to the relationship. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about me, or enjoy my company, but that he couldn’t see me very often and when he had time off on the weekends, there were other things that he needed to do because he could only do them then. He said that it didn’t mean he wouldn’t be interested in taking me out every couples of weeks or so, but that it wouldn’t be anything more than a date, not a relationship. He also said that it had nothing to do with anything that I did, that he always had a great time with me (we never got into any fights or arguments), and the breakup wasn’t anything he particularly wanted to do, but he knew that I wanted more than he could give me. He mentioned that if his schedule changed in the somewhat near future, or if his feelings towards committing to a relationship changed, I would be the first one to know. I really feel like we’re right together, and he said that he thought we were good together, and I could honestly see myself with him for the long haul. How long should I wait before I contact him? We had talked everyday for the past 3 months, and now nothing. He’s leaving for a 3 week long business trip in April. Should I contact him and try to see him before he leaves, or wait until he gets back? I would be willing to have a relationship with him even if it meant not seeing him very often, as long as I knew we would be serious once he got back on a different schedule. I’m pretty upset and hurt about it, and any advice would be helpful. Thanks!
Are you ready to hear what you least want to deal with? When you try to address an issue and, as noted above, it isn’t the real issue, it can feel like you’ve been hit with a ton of bricks when the real issue does emerge. For example, a husband or a wife engages in lots of activities away from home. You, as the spouse left at home, believe the problem is your mate doesn’t spend enough time with you and is inconsiderate. And that may very well be true. Sometimes we spread ourselves too thin making commitments to others, and our marriages get neglected as a result. But, there could be another reason. Are you ready to hear that why your spouse is gone so much may be because of you? Do you criticize rather than complain? Which do you find easier to say: “You never spend time with me,” or “We don’t spend time together like we used to.” It doesn’t take much to turn a complaint about something into a criticism of someone. In fact, it is one of the easiest things to do. It can happen unconsciously, and easily become habitual. One result is that the person criticized may start distancing him-/herself from the critic. Now this is only one example of what a real, hidden issue might be. Yours may be different. (In my case, both of us contributed to the real problem, though at the time we thought the other was the problem.) Realizing that you may be the cause of your marital problems can be gut-wrenching. Are you ready to face that possibility?
Hi Desireen. Nope…you are not crazy! You just want to figure out how to make things feel better for yourself and improve your chances. Its OK that you may have made some mistakes. He made plenty to. We all do. What matters is going forward and what you do. So its good to have an ex recovery plan, both for yourself and also doing things to optimize your chances of getting your ex back. My program is all about that. Go to my site’s home page to learn more about my ebooks, tools, resources, and many other things!
Relationships cannot survive on love. Trust is the foundation upon which all relationships are built. If you break trust with your partner, the relationship suffers. In order to rebuild trust you have to repair the hurt you inflicted on your mate. In my work with couples, I guide them through a 5 step process to repair hurt. For easy remembering the steps begin with the letter A.
You can instantly download the audio, video and manual system to put these techniques into practice when she contacts you. You can also use these text examples to initiate contact with her again after a certain period of time, which Fiore explains himself. Watch the video where he explains exactly what the system does and learn some powerful techniques to try out yourself.
Getting an ex back in your life isn’t rocket science, and it doesn’t require an underground lab and years of careful planning. The less you do to make your goal a reality, the better off you’ll be. How often do you miss the people that you see every day? Do you spend a lot of time missing the people that you just spent all day around? Probably not. Do you miss your co-workers when you leave the office for the day even though you will see them tomorrow? Missing someone requires an absence and if there’s no absence, you can’t miss them.
We went back to our place and he told me he wanted to break up with me for sure. I tried to reason with him again, to give me more time But he was sure, he had felt bad about changing his mind before apparently; after a couple hours of heated conversation, of me trying to convince him, he even told me he didn’t love me anymore ( which I’m not sure about, was he saying that so that i let go?). I gave in and we took my flight ticket back home. We spent the day after together, it was awesome and incredibly sad. I didn’t want to believe I was letting go of a life I wanted so much. He was so sad too, it felt like he was hurting a lot too.
Well, now you have to meet your ex. When you contact your ex, you need to ask them to meet you. But do not call it a date. Do not even talk about getting back together. Just say you want to “catch up” or “hang out together”. Try to keep it short, like a lunch or coffee. The date has to be in setting where you can leave easily if you sense that things are going south.
We women tend to think that giving and giving to a man will bring him closer. And this includes doing things like checking up on him to see how he’s doing. It’s what I call “overfunctioning.” Don’t do it! A man is accustomed to valuing what he has to work for, so if you put in effort and make it easy for him, he will actually value you less. We work hard because we think that if we don’t he’ll assume we don’t care enough about him, and he’ll go away. But this is simply untrue. If you lean back and let go of the reigns, you give your boyfriend the chance to see what it feels like to be without you, and if he’s worth it you will get your boyfriend back. Remember this: men commit to you not because they want to be with a woman, but because they can’t stand to be WITHOUT you. Let him feel what it’s like NOT to have you in his life.
Broke up with girlfriend after over 2 years together. We had some issues and had been to relate but finished counselling positively. Change of job had me move towns. She followed me 2 months later when she also had new job. My job fell apart and I had to quit just as she relocated. I then got work elsewhere on temporary basis but it went on for 9 weeks. We barely saw each other saw each other. I felt pulled work wise away from her and I allowed it to happen. We split. I was in denial for a month or so. When realisation hit I was heartbroken. I’ve tried emailing to say I want to get back together but she’s said she’s not in love with me and we have no future and that she wants space to heal.. I love her so much. I’ve written a heartfelt apology for hurting her but she won’t respond. I just don’t know what to do. I think she’s built up her barriers and is determined to put me in a box and ignore me. What do I do? I’m so very sad, really love her and can see all the ways we could have a really good relationship but if are doesn’t….
The love that you and a woman share NEVER goes away. What happens is that the love gets pushed into the background because of all the negative feelings in the foreground. To get back in touch with the loving feelings you once experienced with each other, you need to make changes to your behavior and how you treat her. When you do this correctly, the love naturally comes flooding back.
Lauren I broke up with my gf of like 3 yrs with the exact same thing she said she need time to think she didn’t know what she wanted.Clearly I wasn’t making her happy,this was about a month ago I’ve met her once for coffee and I can hardly remember her laughing more.I think I still have a chance,I recently lost my job too so this really doesn’t help.I can’t get her out of my head I am constantly thinking about her.We do talk but I don’t think I can leave her alone as much as I she does with me.
Out of the blue he just stopped talking to me. We go to the same school and there we usually talk but one day he started avoiding me and stopped texting me, too. A couple days later I found him before school and tried to ask him what was going on. He didn’t really answer. When I asked him if he still wanted to be together, all he did was shrugged. I was very upset at his response and just walked away.
All of the crying, Instagram stalking, begging, analyzing, gossiping, playing detective, pleading and bargaining will get you nowhere and the pity and empathy that you are after will never happen. It turns men off, WAAYYYY off to know that you have such little confidence and such a minuscule life that you’re obsessed with their every move and obsessed with losing them. Men want to feel wanted, not psychotically needed. Beating yourself up is not going to help you either. Are you listening? Either make the mistakes that I’ve made in the past or wake the hell up and give this emotionally unavailable f*cktard a run for his money.
Discuss solutions. This step may be the hardest part, coming up with solutions you both can live with. That means agreeing on what you think the main problems are in the marriage and coming up with ways you can both work to make it better. Basically, you need to compromise. Blaming each other isn't going to help, as you've both contributed to the situation you're in.
Dear heavenly father, as I come to you today to ask for guidance and strength to strengthen my relationship Lord I can’t do this alone. I Need Your Loving Arms to keep us focused on you through this difficult time lord. We both have extremely busy schedules so it’s hard for us to see each other Lord and during those busy times we tend to argue more when we deeply love each other Lord come into our lives show us what we need to do to continue going the way that you want us to go, Lord. In Jesus name Amen.
I’ve been with my girlfriend for over a year, and she just broke up with me because she seems to care more about her friends than she does our relationship. she wont make time for me and ever sinse we split she refuses to talk to me. I’m heartbroken completely. because we used to be perfect. how do i get her to speak to me again even though she doesnt want to, i need her, please help!
St. Jude I ask that you find it in your heart to pray for me and my boyfriends relationship. I ask that you take away any temptation my boyfriend may have or remove any other individual that will come between our relationship. Help him to be aware of how much I care and love him. I ask that you help our relationship be strong, loving, honest, and respectful. In the name of the father the son and the holy spirit. AMEN