Ask them if they want to save the relationship. If they say yes, tell them (calmly) that you don't feel like they are putting forth the effort. Tell them exactly what you need from them, if possible. Couples counseling might be beneficial in this case. If they don't respond positively that they want to save the relationship, move on. You can't change their mind.
It’s unbelievable how fortunate I feel after finding your email. For the past 3months, I have been so depressed after losing my fiancé to another woman. My money situation worsened so much that I thought I’d have to file for bankruptcy. I had a huge amount of debt and I didn't know what to do. Out of complete and total desperation, I contacted many of those so-called individuals who promised powerful magic, witchcraft or black magic. None of them worked and none were as wonderful, affectionate and warm as Lord Spiritual has been. He is definitely different from the others and I felt immediate hope and strength from hearing about the promises he had to offer. He carries an air of purity and divine strength that is as pure as fresh snow on the ground. I requested Lord Spiritual most powerful spells and I was relieved right away that I had someone to solve my problems for me. His spells worked wonders and I am now back with my fiance and my money troubles resolved itself after winning the lottery.

Dear God, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, grandma, grandpa, all the Angels and Saints and Archangels and anyone else I may have missed. Please help me with my relationship. We’ve been together a little over a year and both have young autistic children who are not getting along. We are trying to blend a family and keep moving forward in the right direction but lately have been stressed and fighting. My boyfriend is having a hard time and he’s closing up and giving up on us. Please pray for me and for the five of us. Please pray for my boyfriend. Help him have an open heart and mind and realize that we need each other and will overcome this. Please pray for him and anything he is going through that I do not know about. Please pray for our two little girls as well as the oldest. Please help them get along. Please help me and my jealous ways and help me to fight off all of my insecurities. Please pray for us tonight and everyday and to ward off anyone’s negative thoughts. Please in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.


Dearest St Jude, please I beg of you to help my boyfriend and I to have a healthy loving relationship with each other, please take away any temptations and any person who tries to come between us, please that he will start and show me more love and tenderness. I love him so much with all my heart and please I ask you that he feels the same way about me…and will start and put me first in his life..
Now the remaining part of this website will show you psychological and practical strategies for how to get your ex-boyfriend back that you can work with to remove the feelings of neediness and insecurity. It doesn’t matter how dreadful you are feeling inside you these strategies will surely reverse the feeling of rejection that your ex boyfriend wants you to feel. This will shift the balance of power back in your relationship.

Besides, even if he does get into a new relationship … you have to realize that all relationships are not created equal. Sometimes the easiest way to numb the pain of a previous relationship is to jump right into a new one. And in the case of a rebound, who knows what the outcome will be? These aren’t necessarily the most long-lasting relationships and there’s nothing to say that this isn’t an attempt to get your attention or be vindictive. Again, you don’t know and you can’t know and it’s a waste of time to try.

Send her a letter. Girls also love letters, because they take a lot of time and you have to express your feelings. Start off by saying something like: "I know this letter doesn't fix what's broken between us, and maybe it never will. But I want you to know that I care deeply about you, and I always will. That part has never changed. The part that's changed is that I realize how stupid I was to let you go."

Showering your ex with affection has the same effect of the first three deadly sins. Trying to convince your ex that he should be with you by giving him all the attention, pouring compliments over him, sending him love notes or whatever will not work. The only way your ex will be convinced of your value is if you make yourself valuable, not if you demean yourself and act out of needy desperation.
This will immediately trigger the same reactions in your ex-girlfriend that accepting the breakup from the beginning would have had. She’ll want to know exactly what triggered your change of heart and whether or not you’re getting on with your life. Your ex is counting on the chase, even if she’s not ready to restart a relationship with you. You’re reversing roles and making her want to chase you instead.
Need some help. Devastated. I was with my girlfriend for 18mths. Moved in together after 10mths. We went on a trip overseas and it was hell. two months later she ended it. She was upset she did it and said she misses me and we kept seeing each other for about a month. Then told me its not happening. She’s fallen outta love. Hurts like hell. She said she did try in that month but its gone for her and that she can’t talk for awhile and needs space. Then, stupidly, I was bored and missing her about 2wks later and sent her text saying that if i was better to her we’d be doing something together right now. She got back to me the day after and wasn’t happy at all. Asked for me to stop contacting her and that she will never love me again. Ouch! I really want her back. Not sure what to do from here. How do i get her back?

The best way to optimize your chances of getting your ex bf back is to become Ungettable Girl.  You want to increase your value in his eyes and also make it difficult for him to reach you, talk to you, and see you.  This is just a small part of becoming the Ungettable Girl.  It’s also about making yourself beautiful in his eyes from afar.  He can see you, but now it is at a distance (through Snap chat, Facebook, etc).   Slowly over time, your ex boyfriend will crave you and you will do things to ensure that he feels that craving every day by using little jealousy ploys and rumors and chance encounters.  Your ex boyfriend loves nothing more than a good chase – so give him one.
Having issues in your marriage/relationship? I have been rejected by my husband of 4years,it hurts so much been nelegect all the time, I confronted my husband and he say it’s not working and needs a divorce.. I felt depressed and needed solution cause I love him so much. I went online for solution or counseling, when I stumbled on a testimonial page. People with similar problem as mine. I was lucky a lady left an email for me to contact, I took a bold step cause I was so depressed and feel like dying.. I contacted this great man, prophet Osaze, who prayed for me and assured me of my husband return to my arms with 48hrs of his prayer, behold after that prayer night, my husband came home pleading for my forgiveness, it’s our 2year today together after the prayer and my husband has never changed towards loving me.. contact prophet Osaze today via : (spirituallove at hotmail . com)

Interpret your emotions. In the pain and confusion of a breakup, it can be easy to confuse your emotions, interpreting feelings of loneliness and hurt as evidence that you need your ex back in your life. In fact, almost everyone who experiences a breakup initially feels remorse for the lost relationship, coupled with feelings of anxiety, guilt, depression, and loneliness. Generally, the more serious the relationship was, the more severe these feelings tend to be; couples who are married or cohabiting tend to have the worst breakups, whereas those who were casually dating tend to have an easier time in the aftermath of a breakup.[1] But the severity of your feelings does not automatically mean that you should get back together with your ex.
My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday night I couldn’t believe it I was really hurt and I have been texting him a bunch.I’m pretty sure I just ruined any chance of getting back together.he said he likes me a little still but says he’s not upset about breaking up with me.its so confusing and I hope I didn’t ruin the chance to get back together because I love him a lot.I’m really upset.
Couples therapy can help you learn new skills. Love and relationship psychologist Dr. Sarah Schewitz says: "If you really want your relationship to work, but you're just not getting along, you should probably reach out for help and acknowledge that you don't have the skills to fix it. There's nothing wrong with needing help. That's what couples therapy is for, to help you learn the tools to have the relationship you both want."
Breakup is hard as it is, especially if you are still obsessing over your ex and wondering all the time whether or not they miss you. On top of that, if your ex starts dating someone else, it’s almost feels like someone punched you really hard in your stomach (while wearing a wolverine claw). Nothing can prepare you for this feeling. But it happens. And no, it’s nothing to worry about.
If you are in a situation like this, the best thing to do is just be cool about it. Do not give your opinion about their new relationship and let it run its course. Just be cool about the whole thing and try to concentrate on your life rather than theirs. There are a lot of things that you need to do after a breakup and before you can get your ex back. That’s what step 2 is all about.
I feel very happy to share my great and wonderful testimony with everyone on this site,I was married for 4 years to my husband and all of a sudden another woman came into the picture he started hating me and he was abusive.but i still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all cost.... He filed for divorce and my whole life was turning apart and i didn't know what to do, he moved out of the house and abandoned me and the kids... my very close friend told me about trying spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to a spell caster so i decided to try it. although i didn't believe in all those things then when he did the special prayers and spell, after 2 days, my husband came back and was pleading that he had realized his mistakes I just couldn't believe it, anyway we are back together now and we are happy in case anyone needs help here is his email address; gbojiespiritualtemple @ gmail. com His spells is for a better life OR call his number +2349066410185
My ex bf and I live together. He said he will never change his mind. He says he is moving out. I have no proof. He hasn’t told his family we are broken up, for over a month now. He got on tinder immediately and is now off tinder. He is posting videos from a vacation of our from almost a year ago. I am living my life and going out trying to be social. How can I get him back?
My boyfriend broke up with me 6months ago..saying things like, I want I be on my own, go out with mates, we weren’t getting on anymore. Which I thought was bizarre because we would always joke around, we were together for 4&half years. Took him only 2 months to find a new girlfriend he seems to of forgotten all about me, I haven’t saw him in them 6 months nor contacted I would life to get back with him As he is my best friend. And I truly love him. Any help appreciated
If your ex has fallen into the friend zone (for example, if he or she says "I'm no longer in love with you"), you might be able to recreate the experience of falling in love by building intimacy with your ex. In one study, a researcher had two strangers stare into each other's eyes and then answer personal questions (like "What is your biggest fear?" and "What is your best memory from childhood?"). They were able to create an intimate bond between the strangers, creating attraction and even the feelings of love. Try spending time looking into your ex's eyes and asking deep questions and see if this helps move your relationship back into intimate territory.[12]
Thanks for this post, Jason. After I read it I had a little hope that me and my ex-boyfriend COULD get back together. But then I scrolled down to the comments and I read everyone else’s comments, apprehensions, fears, emotional and psychological hardships that they’re going through and I wondered — if this is how a person is making us feel, is it worth it?
I met a guy whilst travelling in Australia, and we dated for four months and travelled together the whole time. He said he loved me many times, that I made him feel things he never felt before and couldn’t stand the thought of me being with anyone else. Things felt so perfect. He made me feel like he wanted me so much. We are both from the same area in the UK and planned to carry things on when getting home. The last time I saw him at the airport, he told me he loved me and would be waiting for me when I got home in 2 weeks. However, as soon as he arrived home, he told me he changed his mind and didn’t want to commit to a relationship because of work and because his life is too busy. In the same phone call he also told me that he didn’t want me to get with anyone else. I love him so much, I started no contact as soon as he broke up with me and we haven’t spoken since (its been 10 days). I accepted his decision and told him that I couldn’t be friends right now as it was too hurtful, and that he had no right to expect me to wait around and not get with anyone else. He got very angry at this and called me bitter and childish. I don’t understand how his feelings changed so quickly. We still stayed friends on social media. I upload photos of me having a great time with friends, never post anything negative (although deep down i’m really suffering). I’m focusing on me, have taken up a new hobby and started hitting the gym more often. I just love him and miss him so much, every morning I hope today is the day he will message to say he made a mistake and wants me back. Is there any chance he will come back soon? or eventually? I don’t know what to do to make this happen. Any advice would be great.
That's a rough situation, but whatever the answer is, waiting around for her relationship to end is going to make you miserable. You don't have to jump into the dating pool just yet, but spend some time on your own activities and stop following her social media. It's more likely a rebound if it happened right away, hasn't lasted long, and if she's trying to rub it in your face, but that doesn't mean you should hang around waiting to be thrown a bone.
I’m in the exact same situation, I know he loves me, but he’s tierd of believing I would stop making problems out of everything, he tells me he has stopped believing he can love me, but that he really thinks he might stop thinking that after some time. This all happened in one week, I don’t believe he has stopped loving me, all the times he told me never to doubt his love, it can’t end like this. For now I’m going to give him time, not talk to him.. But I don’t know how to let him know I have changed and that we can truly bé together without any troubles and fusses. What happened with you Anabelle, have you solved it? I really need help
Act like nothing is wrong. Even if your guts are tumbling like clothes in a washing machine, try not to let her know. She's probably not going to want you back if you're acting depressed, mopey, or sulky. Make sure you're laughing and genuinely trying to have a good time. You might find that you've become a happier person along the way. If you are feeling depressed, surround yourself with friends or family. Don't wait alone in a corner and just hope for her to come back to you.
Lord, I have come to you today to surrender to you all the load I carry in my heart. I have come to you to Thank You for blessing me with someone like him. Lord, you know how much love I have for him, and you know the pain I am going through right now. I pray to you to please heal our hearts with all the frustrations, the pain, the anger, the sorrow and all the damages. I pray to you to please Lord help us save the relationship we have. Lord i have come to you to ask you to please keep us stronger just like we were before, that the love we have for each other will always be unconditional as the love you have for the both of us, I have come to you to ask of you to please keep us together that we may face whatever wrath is going to be thrown at us and that we may overcome the struggles we are facing now and the years to come. Lord I know you know how much I want him to become a part of my life, to have him and share with him the remaining years of my life, I ask of you to please continue to bless our love with the help of your grace that we may keep the affection and the care that we have for each other until our last breath. Lord, I ask of you to please guide us through this bump we are facing, and for the years to come. Amen
Commit to having a better relationship. If your ex-boyfriend takes you back, you both need to take steps to make sure that the same problems that caused your last breakup will not interfere with your relationship again. Talk to each other about what kinds of conflicts you have had in the past and how you could deal with them more appropriately going forward.[9]
I recently lost, my girl it was my fault I got hooked up in internet adiction, porn sites and dating sites, she read my corespondance to the other women and even contacted them to see if we had met up. I did it for a quick sense of wantedness and no other reason, I’ve spoken to a doc about the adiction and confronted mtg demons, but she no longer trusts me and now I’ve lost her…

Dear heavenly father, as I come to you today to ask for guidance and strength to strengthen my relationship Lord I can’t do this alone. I Need Your Loving Arms to keep us focused on you through this difficult time lord. We both have extremely busy schedules so it’s hard for us to see each other Lord and during those busy times we tend to argue more when we deeply love each other Lord come into our lives show us what we need to do to continue going the way that you want us to go, Lord. In Jesus name Amen.

When negative things happen, avoid being critical or contemptuous. Don’t say things that begin with “You never…,” “You always…,” or (my favorite) “You’re such a…” Calmly explain why you see the situation, not the spouse, as negative, and why it upsets you. In the ensuing conversation don’t get defensive, but don’t refuse to talk, either. Inject a little positivity into the conversation or argument. For example, try a little humor to lighten up the situation a bit, if you think your spouse would be receptive. If the humor backfires, simply be honest and explain that you want to diffuse the tension and you really don’t want to fight.
One of the most devastating mistakes you can make is trying to force it to work with a guy who is wrong with you. I’ve seen people spend years of their life trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. Everyone in their life tells them to just move on and let him go but they can’t. Why? Because they don’t have clarity or any objectivity because they are still sucked into the emotional whirlpool and have yet to break themselves free.
I have known very rocky relationships that have sorted themselves out over time and then lasted, as far as I could tell, forever. Sometimes, these new beginnings started in the judge’s chambers when the divorce was being finalized. Sometimes afterwards. I have recently come across someone who married the same woman three times—although it is hard to believe that they have, at last, come to terms with each other. In these instances, it is often the case that the couple had not ever really made clear to each other just how strongly they felt about certain things. (They would say at this point that they told the other person a hundred times just what they felt; but I have been witness to some of these conversations, and sometimes I am left not quite understanding how strong their feelings were.)

So, my ex boyfriend had a friend who killed himself just about 3 weeks ago. It hit my boyfriend really hard and he started to change. He got quieter and quieter and soon wasn’t even the person I had been dating for a year. I finally asked him if he even wanted to be with me, and he replied “Its not that I don’t want to be with you, I just feel empty”. He ended the relationship saying he needs to figure out how to fix himself and fill the hole he has inside him, but he wants to do that alone. I really do not know what to do at this point. He messaged me twice. Once was asking how I was doing, and the other was him telling me I was welcome to see the cats if i ever wanted to (we owned cats together) so I guess I want to know if this advise you have given in this article is going to work. Because I honestly think he is really confused and doesn’t know what he feels. I would appreciate any advise!
If you think that by being friends with your ex, you can stay in their lives and hopefully get back together again, you are just plain wrong. By being friends you are not giving yourself and your ex enough time and space to heal. Not to mention, you will probably end up getting friendzoned by your ex. You could end up listening to your ex complaining about their new lovers (cue : Ex-girlfriends)  or they might propose being friends with benefits (cue: Ex-boyfriends).
Here is where he gets to see the beautiful woman you are in person. He gets to witness your positive vibe and new and improved look in the flesh. Like the reach out stage, there are no “rules” here. The light and fun vibe you brought to the conversations you’ve previously had should shine through just as bright. If your positive vibe is derived from genuine positive thoughts and emotions, interacting with him should be easy and effortless.
I have been in relationship with my boyfriend for 2 year now and we were planning to get married soon and all of a sudden he left me for another girl, i really love this guy and never can imagine my life without him. I further tried all my best to get him back but all my effort to get him back in my life did not work out. It was on this faithful day, i came across some comments on a website about this great spell caster called Chief Dr Lucky, so many persons claimed that he help them to renew their relationship and bring their ex back, i had to contact him because he was my last hope. I contacted him through his email and he assured me that in two days time my boyfriend is going to leave the other girl and come back to me and it was a very great surprise to see my boyfriend coming back to me after two days. I am so very happy today that he came back to me and i achieved this with the help of Chief Dr Lucky, and i advice if you need his help too Email: Chiefdrlucky gmail com or Whats App: +2348132777335
Occasional conflict is a part of life, according to New York-based psychologist Susan Silverman. But if you and your partner feel like you're starring in your own nightmare version of the movie Groundhog Day -- i.e. the same lousy situations keep repeating day after day -- it's time to break free of this toxic routine. When you make the effort, you can lessen the anger and take a calm look at underlying issues.
I met my husband at a party when I was 17. I saw him and I was hit with a ton of bricks. We spent most of the night talking (and kissing), and I was on a cloud. We dated for a few months and while the relationship was short, it was extremely significant to me. He was just different from the rest and I was devastated when it ended, like completely crushed.
Reason #2 – Creates Feeling of Loss: Another reason to use no contact is, it helps in developing the feelings of loss in your ex boyfriend’s mind. Your boyfriend will start thinking why she is not calling me. He will start getting second-guessing to his decision of breaking up with you. Once he starts getting these second-guessing thoughts it will be great helpful for you.
Shelly I was reading some comments and yours had a bit on me !! It’s been a while since I’ve been searching for “how to make my ex come back to me “, and I think a lot of these articles helped a little after our first breakup. However, if you want to make this person become madly be in love with you, then I can recommend you to someone who helped me. I had a result in 2 weeks.
I was dating this girl for 3 years she was everything I wanted she was sweet very nice helpful beautiful very supportive but also was crazy and pretty jeleouse she did have a right to be though I had a lot of chick friends and would talk to them and boy she would flip I ended up deleating messages from them because I just was tired of the arguments it got worse I started reciving nudes from one oft chick friends and she caught me ever since that day it got all bad she was torn up really bad boy I was a mess I felt so bad I begged her back then she did take me back but then she told me she couldn’t take it anymore and that she was still hurt from it and broke it off again I begged her back and now she said she won’t ever take me back and tells me to move on she looks like she’s set with her decision there was this one time she saw me with a girl as I was picking up some oft stuff from her and (she was just my friend) afterwards she started texting me saying how much I’ve hurt her and that I haven’t changed I replied with “I’m single” she was upset honestly I just want her back I miss her dearly she was my best friend I was 100percent my self around her I miss our laughs together her smile just a lot of stuff I want back if anyone can give me some advice I’d love it I really want her back I don’t know what to do
Relationships often go through difficulties and misunderstandings. You most likely had serious arguments, after which you forgave each other. Sometimes, arguments lead to the demise of a relationship, though. And if you don’t start to act, having a good idea of what you need to do, your relationship will be doomed forever. It depends on you whether you will get your girlfriend back, or if she would be gone forever.
Broke up with my ex after 6 years, he was manipulative, a liar and a cheat. As soon as we split up he started dating another girl. I asked him about it and he denied it. Anyway, it’s been 7 weeks now and he has been in constant contact with me. Last week it all come out that he was dating that girl all along. He admitted it all to me and told me he wanted me back, I foolishly told him that we could sort things out. He then decided he didn’t want me back and has now run back to that girl. It’s been a week since this happened and I haven’t heard off him since. I know I should not want a person like that back in my life. But I just want him to regret what he’s done and come begging for me back. Will he be sorry? And Is this girl just a rebound or does he really like her? I can’t stop obsessing over him. Every minute of the day he’s on my mind and I constantly stalk him and her on social media.
If you have the sinking feeling that your relationship is on the rocks, then it's time to reflect on your relationship and try to save it. To save it, you're going to need to work together to figure out the problem or problems you're having, as well as a solution to those problems. You're also going to need to work at loving each other again and reconnecting to what you felt in the past.
You see that picture of me and the kids at the top of the page? Those two, more than anything else, made me want to save my marriage to Allison. I’m sure a lot of you are in the same position. You do what you can so those young ones don’t have to experience a broken home or a home of yelling and fighting. My wife took that picture 7 years ago. I have a smile on my face but my relationship was falling apart and I was desperate to save my marriage. Actually, I wasn’t desperate, I was angry and bitter and confused and I was almost ready to throw in the towel after 5 years of marriage to Allison. I was ready to consider breaking up our home and shattering the lives of my 3 year old daughter and my 1 year old son. I went through the motions of saying “I Love You” to Allison, but with all the fights we had I wasn’t really sure I believed it anymore.

It feels like not being able to breathe when a good man leaves you. He’s put up with me for so many years, i’m so sorry for everything. i fked up i was naggy, unappreciative, rude, and not available to him emotionally i was pushing him away he was such a sweet heart and i always found something to argue with him about i took what we had for granted we took a break for a while and decided to try again start from the beginning..we went out had fun and i fell into my old way got mad and argued about soemthing so stupid.


The truth is, even though YOU may seem to fight constantly with your spouse, you might find it’s not that hard to completely turn things around and save your marriage. It’s not that hard (if you know how to do it) to actually stop fighting and  start loving each other again! It seems like a miracle, but it is true. Even your sex life can recover – it’s not as hard as you might think. Boy, I have said that a lot, huh? “It’s not that hard to save your marriage.”
My story seems to be a bit different then most. So without trying to bore you completely I’ll give you the basics. I met my ex in high school and boy did I hate her she was that annoying chick in class I couldn’t stand. After high school I began hanging out with her with my best friend, now the big twist begins here. I had left my house with my boy and her there and one thing led to another and they ended up hanging out afterward and having a kid. I wasn’t mad at either of them bc I never expressed my feelings for her before hand. There son was 3 months old when they broke up, I lost contact with my buddy but regained connection with her and as friends went to eat with her. Ever since that day we were inseparable, she was my best friend my lover and in my eyes soon to be wife. Her son was 1 1/2 when we found out we were having a little girl. She did not want to have another child which forced a argument of her wanting a abortion. After consideration she decided it wasn’t the right thing to do and proceeded with the pregnancy. We had our baby girl dec 24,2011 best day of my life. Now she will be 2 In a month me and the ex are broken up and she is out partying like she is 16 everyday I get my daughter. She has lied to me and put me threw a lot but I can’t help but want her back, I mean guys she is the mother of my child. She wants nothing to do with me, took me for child support and custody. Am I crazy for thinking it’s not over and trying every opportunity I get to get her back and persuade her. What could I do to win her over, I love her with all my heart and want to spend the rest of my life with her, my daughter and her son who I’ve taken in as my own. Help, advice?! Bare with me it’s a open wound.

For a long time you felt pain from your relationship. Most likely, it hurt quite a lot when she left. The problem lies in the fact that you didn’t have the knowledge to help you steer your relationship in the right direction and be happy in it. Many men know the art of meeting and courting women, so it is easy to fall in love with them. But with time, they lose something very important and their girlfriends get disappointed, eventually losing interest and leaving. Using years of experience, research and observations, I was able to work out a step-by-step system that can help you rekindle the passion and get the relationship with your girlfriend to the same happy place it was before. In this course, I lay out many situations and clearly explain how to act in each one of them. If you follow every advice I give you, your girlfriend won’t want to stay away from you.
The course includes the most important information that I have made easy to comprehend. Not many people like to read 300-page books that only have 30-40 pages of useful information. I made sure that my material is easy to read and is not too long. My methods are presented in a step-by-step action plan that doesn’t include any unnecessary information. I offer you only the information that can be useful to you and that has proven to work.
 With Kelly and Greg, it was Kelly who started the process. She found me on the internet , downloaded Save the Marriage and began the process of saving the marriage. . . by herself. Greg was still bent on a divorce, but Kelly still had hope. . . and took action. Fairly quickly, Greg was less insistent on the divorce, but still assumed it was their only option. Eventually, he agreed to spend that hour with me, in person. . . leaving their divorce attorneys waiting.

Occasional conflict is a part of life, according to New York-based psychologist Susan Silverman. But if you and your partner feel like you're starring in your own nightmare version of the movie Groundhog Day -- i.e. the same lousy situations keep repeating day after day -- it's time to break free of this toxic routine. When you make the effort, you can lessen the anger and take a calm look at underlying issues.
I kept thinking that she was crazy, and she was convinced that I was stupid. I was walking on eggshells because she was just so prickly. We never had sex anymore and we didn’t agree on anything. Technically we were living in a sexless marriage. Many of our fights (over little things) ended with one of us casually suggesting that divorce might be the answer. It hurt. When I thought of divorce, and the end of my family, I thought, How did we get to this? (Stopping the Fighting is the FIRST thing you need to do as I talk about in my article How to Fix a Broken Marriage)
Relationships often end in a whirlwind of doubt and bitter accusation. You probably said a few things you didn't mean, and she fought back. Now that you've had a little bit of time to think about what's been lost, you know you want her back. If you put your heart and mind to it, you might be able to win her over all over again. Fixing whatever went wrong in the first place can be all it takes to prove that you've changed.
So, follow the advice above, and then do this - do more of the above. Lots more. The common thread Gottman found that predicts divorce so well is weaved into it, and it is this: for a marriage to be stable, you must have lots more positive interactions than negative interactions. How much more? Twice as much? No. Three times as much? No. The positive has to outweigh the negative by at least five to one. This is not a number pulled out of a hat. It is a fact.
×