A lot of people think that when they implement Radio Silence (No contact) with their Ex Bf, that it is all about denying them or punishing them. But that is not it at all. It is really about allowing your Ex Boyfriend time to get over his anger and resentment and sort through his feelings. Make no mistake, bitterness is usually just hovering over a break up couple and your guy might be holding on to his fair share. So allow for some space. Once the ugly thoughts are out of his mind, the good thoughts and memories will eventually return as he will most assuredly start missing you, sometimes terribly.
Plan, plan, plan. Fay suggests making an appointment, but not necessarily at night when everyone is tired. Maybe during the baby's Saturday afternoon nap or a "before-work quickie." Ask friends or family to take the kids every other Friday night for a sleepover. "When sex is on the calendar, it increases your anticipation," Fay says. Changing things up a bit can make sex more fun, too, she says. Why not have sex in the kitchen? Or by the fire? Or standing up in the hallway?
Lord I come to you with worry on my heart. I broke my boyfriend’s heart, and my have lost him forever. I just ask that you give him the gift of forgiveness. I ask that you open his heart and allow him to see that our relationship is worth saving. I ask that you be a force in our relationship and help us to fight through this terrible time and fix our relationship one day at a time. I don’t know where else to turn and I know that you work miracles. I am asking for a miracle at this point. Things look really bad right now but I know that all I need is faith the size of the mustard seed. I pray that you help me and my boyfriend get through this and I pray that my family stays together, I ask this in your name.
My first ever boyfriend of 4 years plus broke up with me by saying “let’s just be friends”, “I don’t see a future with you anymore, I’ve tried but I just can’t.”, “You’ve to understand that it’s not you, it’s me. Even if you change, I’ll still be the same and eventually the same problem will unfold and we’ll quarrel again”. I’ve sent him threads of messages saying I’ll change and will be able to overlook issues and gradually hope that things will change for the better, but he seems to have made up his mind and wanna end this relationship with me.
We ran into each other randomly about five years later. I was stunned to see him (he was in my house of all places, someone brought him to a party there and he had no idea he’d be seeing me!). I could barely speak I was so nervous. We chatted for a bit, then he messaged me on Facebook a few days later and we talked for hours and hours, I was positive that this was the beginning of round two for us, but then he went dark again. A few more years went by and we ran into each other again. Once again I had soaring high hopes… and then was crushed again when nothing came of it (I found out later he had a girlfriend at the time).
I recently lost, my girl it was my fault I got hooked up in internet adiction, porn sites and dating sites, she read my corespondance to the other women and even contacted them to see if we had met up. I did it for a quick sense of wantedness and no other reason, I’ve spoken to a doc about the adiction and confronted mtg demons, but she no longer trusts me and now I’ve lost her…
Me and my bf have been together for 15 yrs.. on Oct 12 I found out my dad is in the hospital. .he doesn’t text or call me all day..so when I get home I was pissed off..thats my dad..he didn’t even bother texting to see how he was..we get to arguing. .and he breaks up with me..wtf..like an idiot I start begging and begging. . No. .plz..and he just gets so angry with me..I have to leave the house. .I can’t afford it. .all wk moving out and work, stressed, heart broken to the max..and I can’t even be with my dad cuz i’m moving out..thats the worst..there were signs I should have picked up on. .like..he was becoming distant. .we had been kinda fighting but we talked about it..and I was really trying to work on the things we talked about. .I’ve been calling, texting. .of course. .I mean hello. .our entire lives are together. .but no answer. .no reply. .today is my birthday. .1 wk to the day we have broken up. .and to be honest I just want to go home..and be with him..at the same time. .we have a lease together. .pets..bank account *which I closed out yesterday* I opened my own..the utilities are in my name..I mean..I have to protect my name right. .at the same time I want to wait and see..ugh!!! He has broken up with me before. .maybe 5, 6 yrs ago..and he basically said he had hit rock bottom. .and blah blah blah..what am I supposed to do? No contact? While I was reading the article some things for sure stood out to me..I need to change myself. .not for him.. for me..I have become lazy..with my self. .and we were kinda on auto pilot. .but thats how life is no? We still did fun things..just not as often..we’re adults..with bills..and responsibilities. .idk..advice? Anyone?
There were a few problems in the past. He’s very sensitive and when he gets stressed he can’t handle much emotion. Because of this, he “broke up” with me in the past. It wasn’t really a break up, he kind of just stopped talking to me. It only took one or two days for him to reach out. He said that he was so sorry and that he was so devastated when he didn’t talk to me. He said that he couldn’t see himself with anyone else and the “break up” made him sick. I thought that this time was going to be like those in the past but after a few days he was still being cold. It’s been about two and a half weeks now since he broke up with me and a week since the last time we talked.
In 2012, my little brother Adam died. My life shattered, and I spent the next month drunk in bed. It had been four years since Mary and I had spoken, but it spoke volumes to me that she came out of the woodwork to send me a handwritten note expressing her sorrow for Adam’s death. Through everything—the fights, the skipped plans, the immaturity—she found it in herself to reach out to me. I was blown away, and she was back in my life. We learned that we only lived a few blocks away from each other, and that is how we started dating for the fourth and final time. Once again we started seeing each other as friends. We always met up at this one café in the Lower East Side. I’d get a coffee, and she’d get a bagel.
He still keeps me in contact through texts. For a while he ignored me because I made the mistake of trying to talk to him about the relationship and advised me to give him time to be alone and that I should relax for a long while. Recently, he messaged me saying that my facebook made him sad (I was going on dates and posting feelings about not believing in love anymore) and then proceeded to tell me how he isn’t feeling okay and is just managing to get through each day. He told me that he hates himself because he made people feel sad and hurt them. Then I asked him if we could hang out sometime and he said some day not today. Afterwards he went back to giving me short responses.
Having issues in your marriage/relationship? I have been rejected by my husband of 4years,it hurts so much been nelegect all the time, I confronted my husband and he say it’s not working and needs a divorce.. I felt depressed and needed solution cause I love him so much. I went online for solution or counseling, when I stumbled on a testimonial page. People with similar problem as mine. I was lucky a lady left an email for me to contact, I took a bold step cause I was so depressed and feel like dying.. I contacted this great man, prophet Osaze, who prayed for me and assured me of my husband return to my arms with 48hrs of his prayer, behold after that prayer night, my husband came home pleading for my forgiveness, it’s our 2year today together after the prayer and my husband has never changed towards loving me.. contact prophet Osaze today via : (spirituallove at hotmail . com)
The first thing that you need to do is simple, stop talking to them. You need to drop communication completely. You absolutely need to stop this overall. Many people feel the need to text them back, call them back, or just try to be in their sight. Don’t do that. You have to cut everything out. Walk away, stop talking, stop texting, and walk away from social media. When you talk to them after the break up, you’re going to end up causing them to think that you’re not quite as good as she once thought. You don’t want her to justify the reason why she walked away.
If you feel your partner is pulling away, the way to go is not to try to gain (or regain) the power in your relationship. "Power" doesn't give you what you want. What you really want is to be loved, you want your love to be reciprocated, and you want praise, admiration, and respect. Your negative feelings about your relationship stem from a perceived lack of these features.
This will immediately trigger the same reactions in your ex-girlfriend that accepting the breakup from the beginning would have had. She’ll want to know exactly what triggered your change of heart and whether or not you’re getting on with your life. Your ex is counting on the chase, even if she’s not ready to restart a relationship with you. You’re reversing roles and making her want to chase you instead.
My story seems to be a bit different then most. So without trying to bore you completely I’ll give you the basics. I met my ex in high school and boy did I hate her she was that annoying chick in class I couldn’t stand. After high school I began hanging out with her with my best friend, now the big twist begins here. I had left my house with my boy and her there and one thing led to another and they ended up hanging out afterward and having a kid. I wasn’t mad at either of them bc I never expressed my feelings for her before hand. There son was 3 months old when they broke up, I lost contact with my buddy but regained connection with her and as friends went to eat with her. Ever since that day we were inseparable, she was my best friend my lover and in my eyes soon to be wife. Her son was 1 1/2 when we found out we were having a little girl. She did not want to have another child which forced a argument of her wanting a abortion. After consideration she decided it wasn’t the right thing to do and proceeded with the pregnancy. We had our baby girl dec 24,2011 best day of my life. Now she will be 2 In a month me and the ex are broken up and she is out partying like she is 16 everyday I get my daughter. She has lied to me and put me threw a lot but I can’t help but want her back, I mean guys she is the mother of my child. She wants nothing to do with me, took me for child support and custody. Am I crazy for thinking it’s not over and trying every opportunity I get to get her back and persuade her. What could I do to win her over, I love her with all my heart and want to spend the rest of my life with her, my daughter and her son who I’ve taken in as my own. Help, advice?! Bare with me it’s a open wound.
Often the problems that are truly unmanageable occur when both partners have opposing interests. Here are some examples: one person tries to dominate the other, one person wishes to leave the home whenever he/she chooses, one person reserves the right to see friends all during the week, one person is a philanderer, one person assigns work to the other, one person refuses responsibility for a child, one person begrudges spending money on the other or on the family. Naturally, the other spouse will resent being dominated, or ignored, or taken advantage of. These problems cannot be resolved just by understanding the other better. These are examples of one person putting himself/herself first. When a couple has opposing interests, the problems they develop are likely to prove intractable.
Focus on patterns. Rather than blaming each other, consider how patterns from each of you has led to problems. For instance, maybe you consistently forget to call home when you're going to be late, and your partner then gets upset when you don't show up. Consequently, you punish him or her the next time by not calling home, which is a cyclical pattern. When you bring it up, focus on how to solve the problem, such as "I will try to be better about calling home, if maybe you can forgive me the few times that I forget. Or maybe you can send me a text near the end of the day, so I will be more aware of what time it is."
You see that picture of me and the kids at the top of the page? Those two, more than anything else, made me want to save my marriage to Allison. I’m sure a lot of you are in the same position. You do what you can so those young ones don’t have to experience a broken home or a home of yelling and fighting. My wife took that picture 7 years ago. I have a smile on my face but my relationship was falling apart and I was desperate to save my marriage. Actually, I wasn’t desperate, I was angry and bitter and confused and I was almost ready to throw in the towel after 5 years of marriage to Allison. I was ready to consider breaking up our home and shattering the lives of my 3 year old daughter and my 1 year old son. I went through the motions of saying “I Love You” to Allison, but with all the fights we had I wasn’t really sure I believed it anymore.
If your ex has fallen into the friend zone (for example, if he or she says "I'm no longer in love with you"), you might be able to recreate the experience of falling in love by building intimacy with your ex. In one study, a researcher had two strangers stare into each other's eyes and then answer personal questions (like "What is your biggest fear?" and "What is your best memory from childhood?"). They were able to create an intimate bond between the strangers, creating attraction and even the feelings of love. Try spending time looking into your ex's eyes and asking deep questions and see if this helps move your relationship back into intimate territory.
Reason #2 – Creates Feeling of Loss: Another reason to use no contact is, it helps in developing the feelings of loss in your ex boyfriend’s mind. Your boyfriend will start thinking why she is not calling me. He will start getting second-guessing to his decision of breaking up with you. Once he starts getting these second-guessing thoughts it will be great helpful for you.
Learn to forgive. If you're going to move forward, you're going to have to forgive each other for the hurts you've caused. That doesn't mean completely forgetting what happened or even saying what happened was okay. It does mean that you need to acknowledge the hurt it caused you. You need to realize that the other person makes mistakes, and both of you learned from that mistake. Finally, you need to accept that it happened and move on.
I’m still at university, he has just started a high stress an demanding career. We both knew this time would be pivotal in both our relationship and his career, ultimately, our future. I am not a needy girlfriend, all I need is a kiss at night and some arms around me at some point during the week. Most of all, I just appreciate the company, even if we do absolutely opposite things.
To begin the process, I recommend that you have what I call the Perfection Conversation with her. Essentially, you need to acknowledge to her that you are not perfect (in terms of how you’ve been behaving and treating her), but for the sake of your love, you are willing to continually make a serious effort to become a better man for her. In the same conversation, you also need to get her to acknowledge and realize that she is not perfect either.
I kept thinking that she was crazy, and she was convinced that I was stupid. I was walking on eggshells because she was just so prickly. We never had sex anymore and we didn’t agree on anything. Technically we were living in a sexless marriage. Many of our fights (over little things) ended with one of us casually suggesting that divorce might be the answer. It hurt. When I thought of divorce, and the end of my family, I thought, How did we get to this? (Stopping the Fighting is the FIRST thing you need to do as I talk about in my article How to Fix a Broken Marriage)
The reason you must answer these questions to yourself is so that you can determine a couple of things. First, do you really want to get him back, will you be happy or are you just lonely right now, but deep inside you know that it probably won't work out if you get back together? You must believe that things will work out between the two of you and that you can be happy together again. Otherwise, if you don't have total belief in this relationship, then it's not worth trying to get him back.
Last year we were about to marry, everyone was veryy happy, hi family and my family met then his mother ask for few details and wanted to do enquiry and all of my family and she said she wont allow me to work, i said yes to everthing as i was in love and wanted to marry him everything was soo good but just after the family meeting i said him that he shouldn’t speak a single word in front of his family as i was expecting him support me and say that its been 5 years we know each and already discussed everthing then i got upset from him , we faught and later on he said everthing to his mother and she start hated me , We broke up:(
Enjoy hobbies together. Though tastes may change, you should make time to do something you used to love doing together. If you used to love cooking Chinese food together, try it again. If you once trained for a half marathon but are now feeling too out of shape, commit to the challenge. By committing to something you enjoyed doing before, you'll rekindle some of the old passion you felt. However, it doesn't just have to be something you used to enjoy together. You can also try something new.
Alright, assuming you successfully engaged your ex boyfriend and got a decent response you can move on to this section. I’ll admit that you will have a distinct advantage here if you had a long relationship and made a lot of great memories. If your relationship was brief then this part of engaging your ex may be a little bit more challenging. However, that doesn’t mean anything bad it just means you might have to get more creative.
You may worry about the old adage, “Out of sight, out of mind,” and use that as a justification to reach out. The thought of him moving on and forgetting about you is too terrifying to bear. One little text won’t hurt, you reason. But, in this instance, it will hurt. If you want your ex back, it is important that you strictly adhere to the no contact rule.