I got desperate yesterday and said i will change AGAIN, this time is gonna be different and blahblah. But i confessed about why i didn´t change in the relationship, i didn´t take his words seriously when he nearly broke up and that i know my faults, what i can work on and i know it was wrong that i grieved our past when i was with him, it´s not wrong to grieve, but it affected me so much that i got stuck in overthinking that instead of working on the relationship. He wrote to me today ” my feelings got a little less stronger each time you promised me change and i didn´t see any, i gave you so many chances just because i´ve never felt this way before and i really wanted to be with you, if i only saw A LITTLE change i know my feelings would be as strong as they´ve always been” So he wanted to be with me but he couldn´t stand to give any more chances.
It’s also giving him the impression that he doesn’t have to put in any work for you.  And, let me fill you in on a little secret: men–well really, people in general — value that which they’ve worked for. Imagine how you would feel if you won an award just because they were pulling names out of a hat versus if you won a trophy for something you worked for. Getting a lottery prize is always nice, but getting a reward for hard work is more satisfying.

My ex and I were dating for 4 months. It wasn’t like any other relationship I have ever had! We were always having fun. He was a police officer that worked really long hours and on the night shift, I am an office manager who keeps daytime hours. As time progressed it grew harder to see one another but we still made time for one another. We never argued or fought really. Seriously everything went so smoothly, he was caring, and kind, and super sweet, and always went out of his way to show me that. Well when we first met, he told me he was in the process of buying a house, it was going to be about an hour away, well this made me uneasy but he was always reassuring me that we could make things work. Well one sunday afternoon before he was going to work i sent him a text to see what we were doing the next day, well his response was i don’t know i have yo close on my house tomorrow. Ummmmm wait a minute what house? His response was you knew I was buying a house. So i was loke leaving him alone at that point a few hours later, mind you he was at work, i text him i don’t think this is going to work you are nocturnal i am not we both work hard and its already difficult to see eachother and you live 15 mins away. anyways he told me he needed time to dedicate the conversation to. I said olay and goodnight and went to bed. I spent the next day pampering myself preparing for the worse, he texts me and acts like nothing had happened, i tell him we need to have a conversation, he said he needed time to sort things out, welll i pressured him and he agreed staying together would just be delaying the inevitable i cried he puked, i realized i had been overreacting and apologized and well he hasnt accepted my apology. I went on vacation a few days later and he watched my animals while i was gone, when i was away we kept minimal contact, relatively amicable, but when i got home i found a very expensive goft i had bought him months prior for his new house in the bottom of my laundry basket at this point i flipped out called him every name in the book and told him to get his coward ass to my house to drop off my keys. A day and a half later he showed up gave me my keys we say 3 or 4 words. I shut the door and lock itm i immediately apologize for my behavior but i told him i didn’t want him to see me upset. Now we don’t even speak. I am so hurt and distraught. I know we were together a short time, but i have been in 2 very long term relationships and i can tell you i have never felt the way i felt about him about any other person in my life. I don’t know what to do. I am so sorry, I apologized a milliom ways and he just doesn’t seem to care anymore. And he hasn’t tried once to contact me on his own in over 2.5 weeks.


St. Jude, please pray for me and watch over my relationship. I’m so confused as to why things aren’t going smoothly and why he doesn’t realize my love for him. I ask that you may help us, and strengthen us. That our love may grow as well as our faith, loyalty, respect and above all trust. I ask that you may help me and guide me into the path that I’m meant to be on, and also that he may not take it for granted. Please help me St. Jude, I’m not sure what to do or how to feel. I feel so hopeless, the disrespect, and I feel the drive to fight for me fading…. please help it stop. Please let things get better between us. Because it’s him, and I love him to much to stop fighting for him. I just pray that he feels the same for me. I trust in you. Amen.

My honest advice is to focus on you. What were your goals before her? Reach them. Find new ones if you need to. Dont go looking for her or any other woman. If she remembers she loves you or that she likes you even, she will talk to you if she decides to. If not, some other woman will someday. Just put yourself in social situations when your ready. If you want to spend the rest of your life sad bexause you lost her, than go ahead. Its your life. Fact is, we men are the commited ones. We decide and we stick to it but we unfortunately dont see the womans needs. We often think they are too needy or dramatic and dont see that whats minor to us is major to them. Every woman has her breaking point. If you dont change but keep promising to, she will reach it. I’ve been in love twice and the first time lasted less than 10 months because she never really loved me. This one almost ten years because she loved me deeply. I sometimes think I would have better odds of getting back the one who never loved me.


My ex and I were dating for 4 months. It wasn’t like any other relationship I have ever had! We were always having fun. He was a police officer that worked really long hours and on the night shift, I am an office manager who keeps daytime hours. As time progressed it grew harder to see one another but we still made time for one another. We never argued or fought really. Seriously everything went so smoothly, he was caring, and kind, and super sweet, and always went out of his way to show me that. Well when we first met, he told me he was in the process of buying a house, it was going to be about an hour away, well this made me uneasy but he was always reassuring me that we could make things work. Well one sunday afternoon before he was going to work i sent him a text to see what we were doing the next day, well his response was i don’t know i have yo close on my house tomorrow. Ummmmm wait a minute what house? His response was you knew I was buying a house. So i was loke leaving him alone at that point a few hours later, mind you he was at work, i text him i don’t think this is going to work you are nocturnal i am not we both work hard and its already difficult to see eachother and you live 15 mins away. anyways he told me he needed time to dedicate the conversation to. I said olay and goodnight and went to bed. I spent the next day pampering myself preparing for the worse, he texts me and acts like nothing had happened, i tell him we need to have a conversation, he said he needed time to sort things out, welll i pressured him and he agreed staying together would just be delaying the inevitable i cried he puked, i realized i had been overreacting and apologized and well he hasnt accepted my apology. I went on vacation a few days later and he watched my animals while i was gone, when i was away we kept minimal contact, relatively amicable, but when i got home i found a very expensive goft i had bought him months prior for his new house in the bottom of my laundry basket at this point i flipped out called him every name in the book and told him to get his coward ass to my house to drop off my keys. A day and a half later he showed up gave me my keys we say 3 or 4 words. I shut the door and lock itm i immediately apologize for my behavior but i told him i didn’t want him to see me upset. Now we don’t even speak. I am so hurt and distraught. I know we were together a short time, but i have been in 2 very long term relationships and i can tell you i have never felt the way i felt about him about any other person in my life. I don’t know what to do. I am so sorry, I apologized a milliom ways and he just doesn’t seem to care anymore. And he hasn’t tried once to contact me on his own in over 2.5 weeks.

I’m in the exact same situation, I know he loves me, but he’s tierd of believing I would stop making problems out of everything, he tells me he has stopped believing he can love me, but that he really thinks he might stop thinking that after some time. This all happened in one week, I don’t believe he has stopped loving me, all the times he told me never to doubt his love, it can’t end like this. For now I’m going to give him time, not talk to him.. But I don’t know how to let him know I have changed and that we can truly bé together without any troubles and fusses. What happened with you Anabelle, have you solved it? I really need help


And you don’t need a man in your life to learn how to do this. Instead, practice “framing your feelings” with everyone you meet and even on your own. Start right now by asking yourself what you feel. Then say it out loud. Say, “I feel shaky,” or “I feel sad,” or “I feel happy just looking at that flower over there.” Practice this everywhere you go, and it will become natural to you in days. Then when you talk to the man you love, use this new way of expressing your feelings. You’ll notice a miraculous change in the way he connects to you and opens his heart.
If a guy spends his time after a breakup acting desperately or impulsively, it’s a turn off. The more you fight her, the more confident of her decision she becomes. She’s not attracted to a guy who was clearly more interested in her than she was in him. She thinks she’s in a position of power now and that she has the upper hand. She knows that you’ll chase after her because you want her back. The more you try to convince her to give you another chance, the less respect she’ll have for you as a person – and the more you push, the farther away she’ll go.

We went back to our place and he told me he wanted to break up with me for sure. I tried to reason with him again, to give me more time But he was sure, he had felt bad about changing his mind before apparently; after a couple hours of heated conversation, of me trying to convince him, he even told me he didn’t love me anymore ( which I’m not sure about, was he saying that so that i let go?). I gave in and we took my flight ticket back home. We spent the day after together, it was awesome and incredibly sad. I didn’t want to believe I was letting go of a life I wanted so much. He was so sad too, it felt like he was hurting a lot too.
But going through difficulties is what gets us in touch with who we are and what we’re made of. This sort of growth and self-discovery is invaluable. Breaking through that feeling of “I won’t be able to survive without him” and then discovering that you can will make you realize how strong you are, and as a result, will help build your self-esteem and give you that amazing “I can get through anything” feeling.

I love the no contact rule blog post!! And it really showed me some insights, thanks so much for that. Two weeks ago I broke up. I have to deal with the fact that he’s biking through my street to work every morning and evening. One time he was biking by and we saw each other and he waved, well i just crashed.. the other day we bumped into each other. This doesn’t really help me in my process to be honoust. Can I text him and ask if he could take another way to work maybe or what should I do about this?

By reaching out too soon, you risk falling into a post-relationship relationship. Meaning you talk on occasion and you hang out from time to time, but your relationship is totally undefined and the needle doesn’t seem to be moving in one direction or the other. That’s because you’re both lacking clarity and that’s because you need a period of no contact to get your minds straight. If you don’t take this time, everything will remain cloudy and confusing.


she left me in 2011 and came back to me in 2012 afta i have callin her and not answering my calls for a year then she left again for a year 2013 around march and came back to me this year 2014…she started calling me on the 28 of february this year and i was shocked and confused about that.but at my point of view she was heartly brokened with the partner she was dating after me.we get back together but she told me we dont have to make love and i agreed but i forced her.now she is telling me she want a breakup coz im cheating but she doesnt have any proof.i loved her and i still love her.so i dont know what to do.i need your help guys..i think she is gona leave again coz im trusting her..but i said i dont want a breakup…thanks for your help guys.

all i’m seeing here is basically use your body to get to love. which is wrong and disgusting. why does every relationship have to revolve around sex and why does being “the night of his life” by being a freaking porn star determine if he’s gonna go back to you or not? if anyone does all of these, the guy is only gonna use you for sex, and basically, youre letting him.
Father god I pray to you to save my relationship with my boyfriend. I love this man so much. I pray that his love is greater than the misunderstanding we are having right now. Please father god enlighten his mind and open his heart for me. I claim that he is the one for me my destiny. Make our relationship stronger each day. May you be the center of our relationship and put your love in our hearts. And i pray that we spend the rest of our lives together in Jesus name. Amen🙏
Gandhi said a famous quote that can be perfectly adapted to this type of situation: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” In love, just like in life in general, we have the tendency to expect a lot from others and end up being disappointed. You can keep blaming others (including your significant other) but if you want to take control of the situation you’ll have to stop doing that. When you’re thinking, “I want to save my relationship and i need a marriage help” you have to become the example.
You know something is wrong if you are always crying or feeling bad about what has happened and you can quite get over it.  You also know it can be frustrating when you can seem to figure out what to text or what to say to your ex bf.  Well, the solution is you can join my Private Facebook Support Group and/or pick up your copy of the Texting Bible and get the emotional support and answers your need.
Now, if by happenstance you run into him, that’s a different story. It would be a good idea to be cheerful, positive, and in a good mood when you see him.  Don’t get pulled into any conversations about the relationship or any debates about what went wrong, whose fault it was, or anything like that. And don’t be pouty or outright mean. That’s just immature.
Develop a playful sense of humor. What do girls say they look for most in guys? A sense of humor and a playful attitude These two traits are attractive because they tell other people that we're youthful and not aggressive. So learn a few jokes if you can (friends are always good to try them out on) and keep the ones that work and throw away the ones that don't. Learn to make fun of yourself a little, in a confident way — not a mopey way. And, for goodness sake, be playful, especially when you're around her. Tease her lovingly, or play a small prank on a friend. You'll notice the difference in her.

My suggestion, from a male perspective, having sex immediately once you meet up again may be a wrong choice. Even if you've been together for a long time before, it's good to make everything seem new, and different. If he messed up, and that's the reason you broke up, you shouldn't make it that easy for him to get back together. Throw in some temptation.

My story illustrates the power of working on yourself, of being your best self, of being in a happy, settled place before you enter into a relationship. The reason my husband doesn’t know what shifted is that it wasn’t a tangible thing. It was my vibe and my energy. I changed a lot from the beginning of the summer to the end, I did a lot of important inner work and I genuinely loved myself and was happy with my life. That’s the kind of energy that draws people in. That’s what makes people see you in a different light.
Change it up. If you continue to respond in the way that's brought you pain and unhappiness in the past, you can't expect a different result this time. Just one little shift can make a big difference. If you usually jump right in to defend yourself before your partner is finished speaking, hold off for a few moments. You'll be surprised at how such a small shift in tempo can change the whole tone of an argument.
My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago. He said he did not want to be in a committed relationship anymore. He just wants to be single and see what’s out there. How can you say those things to someone you’ve been with for 4 years?! 3 weeks later, he called me yesterday at 4am. I missed it because I left my phone in the car. I called him today and he said he didn’t remember calling me because he was really drunk. I asked him to meet up for catch up tomorrow and he agreed. I am going to follow this site’s advice: be positive and just have fun. But is there still a chance for us to getting back together? I still love him so much but I feel like he’s made up his mind to be single. I’m so confused and depressed.
So if your relationship with your ex stayed the same after 6 months or after a year (in other words if it failed to evolve and grow), then it would have violated her desire for relationship progression. It would have made her realize that you are not the guy who’s going to give her a long-term partnership and finally a family. She would then have seen you as a poor suitor, dumped you and gone off to find a guy who shows more signs of commitment and long-term suitability.
Don't try to save a relationship that's toxic or abusive. There's really no way to work on a relationship that's based on toxic patterns or abuse. No amount of working on communication techniques or trying to reignite the romance is going to make things better long-term. You may feel that you're getting something out of the relationship, but you have a lot more to gain by being free.
It is natural to feel anxious and sad when this happens. Your anguish may lead you to attempt to use various manipulation tactics to get the upper hand in your relationship. But playing games to gain or regain the power in a relationship is bound to lead to its demise. There are many relationships in which one person holds more power than the other, but these tend to be extremely unhealthy. Physically or verbally abusive relationships, relationships in which one partner is cheating, and relationships in which one partner has more assets than the other (that are not common property) are often doomed to fail or to lead to heartbreak and unhappiness.

A true apology should be structured as follows: regret, responsibility, and remedy. The first step indicates that you are sorry for what you've done. The second step puts the responsibility on you without making excuses or blaming someone else. The final step offers to make it right or change your behavior in the future.[15] For example: "I just wanted to apologize for when I blew you off all those times that you wanted to spend with me. You must've really felt neglected. I'm going to try really hard from now on, to make it a point to do more things with you so you won't feel like that again. I'm glad you gave me your point of view to realize that."

You may worry about the old adage, “Out of sight, out of mind,” and use that as a justification to reach out. The thought of him moving on and forgetting about you is too terrifying to bear. One little text won’t hurt, you reason. But, in this instance, it will hurt. If you want your ex back, it is important that you strictly adhere to the no contact rule.
When those arguments become daily occurrences, and tend to arise over almost anything, then that’s when things get a bit more dicey. For example, if you arriving 5 minutes late for a dinner date turns into a massive screaming match and results in both of you going to bed angry for the third time in a week, then that’s a problem. These kinds of arguments, if they happen frequently and tend to blow small grievances or disagreements way out of proportion, can indicate that your marriage is headed in the wrong direction.
It is recommended that you stop contact for at least one month. If you think you need more time, you can extend it. It should be at least a few weeks. If you and your ex have to see each other (due to work or kids) then make sure you keep the conversation professional or just related to the kids. Do not talk about your feelings or your relationship with them.
It goes without saying that not all wishes should be granted — for example, if your partner wishes to have a threesome, and you absolutely do not. But not granting your partner's wishes does not imply disrespecting him or her for having particular desires. Respect is the single most important factor in a relationship. If you lose respect for your partner, or they lose respect for you, your relationship can be irreparably damaged. To show respect for your partner, stop focusing on the negative in your relationship and comment on the positive aspects. Be generous with compliments and caring behavior. And to regain respect, if you think you lost it, learn to set boundaries.
If you want your relationship to get back on track, then you need to be humble and accepting what happened. You can’t get your ex boyfriend back by pointing fingers at him. You have to be humble throughout the whole discussion as this is the best approach to tackle this situation, and it will make your ex comfortable with you which will mend broken hearts.

Learn to forgive. If you're going to move forward, you're going to have to forgive each other for the hurts you've caused. That doesn't mean completely forgetting what happened or even saying what happened was okay. It does mean that you need to acknowledge the hurt it caused you. You need to realize that the other person makes mistakes, and both of you learned from that mistake. Finally, you need to accept that it happened and move on.[18]
There are some who think that marriage is inviolable. Different religions may forbid or discourage divorce. It was thought once that the public interest demanded that divorce be made difficult, so that children would not be left homeless. In New York State, divorce was only possible in the context of infidelity, and so men and women would routinely perjure themselves and defame themselves in order to get a divorce. But it is not that way in New York anymore; and divorce has generally become more acceptable. But divorce, like any other serious relationship, is rarely ended without emotional distress.
Many online relationship "experts" will tell you to play power games to win back the love in your relationship, or to reignite the spark. Don't do it. If you purposely ignore your partner or intentionally act cold and distant, you are playing a game. And while this sort of behavior may lead to increased attention from a partner for a short while, it will not have a long-lasting effect on your relationship. If you frequently act rude or mean, ignore your partner, or act cold and distant, your partner will eventually lose interest in you.
Get moving. During this time, it’s a great idea to get active. It’s practically common knowledge that exercise provides many benefits on various levels, both physically and emotionally. Exercise can help us reduce our stress levels, boost our mood, relieve anxiety, increase relaxation, helps us stay focused and the list goes on and on. And of course, in addition to feeling good, exercise will also help you look really good! Fortunately, getting moving is more fun than ever thanks to a wide variety of options out there. You’ve got Zumba, CrossFit, Salsa, Pole dancing, Barre Method, Soul Cycle, Yoga, Pilates… really whatever you want. You can also just opt to go the old-fashioned route and run on the treadmill or outside when it’s nice. Just do something to get those endorphins pumping!
Alright, assuming you successfully engaged your ex boyfriend and got a decent response you can move on to this section. I’ll admit that you will have a distinct advantage here if you had a long relationship and made a lot of great memories. If your relationship was brief then this part of engaging your ex may be a little bit more challenging. However, that doesn’t mean anything bad it just means you might have to get more creative.
I’m very hurt and confused at the moment. After no contact, my ex got back into contact with me. We texted for about a month and a half. Everything I’ve read says to meet out in a public place first. Those plans never materialized. He was so insistent on coming to my house first. When I did not comply, he walked away. His perspective is that we should just be able to hang out since we knew each other for so long. I just didn’t think it was a good idea. I’m kicking myself now. Had I just had him over, he would have stayed. Any advice?
I get it and I’ve been there. You miss him, you miss all of his quirks and jokes and the way that he made you feel. You miss the way that YOU felt and the girl that you were when you were with him when the relationship was good. You make an excuse for and justify everything that he did that was wrong, disrespectful and hurtful because you feel like it was you that provoked it and made him act out. You just want him back, no matter what. how to get your ex boyfriend back
My boyfriend and I are in complicated situation, we want to be together but we can’t because of his mother, so we are just being friends now and he says that we are more than that but less then couples. I don’t know what to think cause’ sometime it feels like he doesn’t want to talk to me or that he’s only giving me short answers when we text but when you skype, its a whole different situation. When we skype, it feels like that we were still going out and so its confusing me so much. We would still be together if his mum didn’t poke her nose in our business but I understand that he’s respecting her wants but it hurts me. She think that she is doing a good thing when it’s causing so much pain for me to not even be able to see him in person, I need help to know what to do please.
Listen, sure, finding some new dude may be okay for you as a bandade, but it won't help you get your ex-boyfriend back. You should make him jealous in a smarter way. Like, he should see that there are guys mingling around you, but don't let him see that you've actually found someone. Don't post stupid, drunken-party pictures on Facebook of you making out with some random dude.
It's important to not just talk, but to listen and hear what your partner has to say about what's going on in your relationship.[5] You can show you're listening by summarizing what your partner has to say to show you've understood what he or she has said. You can also ask questions that show you've heard what the person has said and that you want to know more.
There is a notion out there that relationships are hard and filled with struggle. And while I concede that there will be times when disagreements will arise or less than pleasurable situations may happen that need to be dealt with, that’s not the kind of struggle I’m talking about. I’m talking about the notion that there needs to be a tug of war between two people … that you need to try with all your might and then maybe the guy will see the light and come over to your side.
Another year goes by. It was summer and I was having the time of my life. I decided to take a break from dating and focus on myself. Then I ran into him in Central Park on a Saturday afternoon. At last, he was single and I was single, we were both living in NYC, now was the time. But he didn’t contact me after that. So I decided to contact him. I sent him a friendly message on Facebook and opened the door wide for him to ask me out… but he didn’t take my expertly laid out bait.
I’m sorry Eileen, i keep bugging…but he thinks I’m playing mind games w him bc I messed up in the beginning and it was a complete misunderstanding… and said if I don’t get in touch with him that he will find someone else to keep himself from getting depressed. It’s funny bc ever since I been giving him space, he been trying to text and call me alot…this guy is very difficult since I used to push him away bc I felt like I was not good enough for him…I’m trying to b positive
You have spent a month not contacting your ex. You spent that entire time working on yourself becoming more and more confident as the days past. Everything seemed to be going fine until you hit your first road block with a negative response. Make no mistake about it, negative responses are never good. However, they don’t EVER mean that you should give up right away. It just means you have to be smarter about how you approach things. Lets take a look at a negative response example (from my past) this is a true story.

Please help me… My boyfriend and i broke u because he had to leave for college and we couldn’t be together. We both still care about each other and having to leave each other was really hard. Every time we see each other its very awkward and we barely even talk. Its been very hard for me and I miss him so much but i cant text him because he gives very short responses and then usually just stops responding so we never text or anything because I don’t want to annoy him. Is there any possibility of us getting back together? We never have said I love you to each other but lately I’ve been saying that I love him. Our relationship was nearly perfect. We never had a fight or argument and we were very close. Please help me I need him in my life so if you think we will get back together or if you have any tips please… I am heartbroken.
I use to date a married woman (i know for some people is bad) she has her own reason and she will ask him for divorce. Even her sisters knows me. Lately we broke up she said she no more have feelings for me while she use to kill herself just to see me. When we were together she felt so happy and free and super honest with me. Something changed I don’t know what but I absolutely love her and want her back. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to got her back. Any help plz
Last night we had sex and he kissed me like he meant it. He kissed me bye etc. today when I talked to him he said to give him time (he’s out of town anyways until Wednesday with family) but he’s worried everything is going to go back to the way it was. I’ve worked on myself and I know now what my problem was – my ego! Then he told me on the phone to not call/text him. If he wants to talk he will call me (I can’t do it. It’s hard) and told me not to tell him everything to let him wonder. I’m trying to be open and honest with him.

Michael Fiore has launched his proven ex back program ‘Text Your Ex Back’ in which he reveals a powerful text messaging system that help me and thousands of his previous clients in getting ex girlfriend back. This Text Your Ex Back contains much more than simple text messages. It teaches what mistakes you did that ends your relationship and how to get your ex girlfriend back by using simple yet powerful text messages .

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