I discovered I was pregnant I wanted to keep the baby but he wanted me to have an abortion. After too much pressure from him I gave in and aborted. He’s gone MIA ever since, he won’t respond to texts and only answers my calls after like the fourth ring I apologized this morning for being too demanding about the abortion money he said that he would think about it and that he would organize on how I’d get my stuff from his place. I really love him and I don’t know what to do or where to begin without him. Can the no contact rule to work in this case? Do I have any chances?
Again, this is risky since there is a higher chance of him saying no. However, if you two were really making a lot of progress via texting and you really think he is feeling the same way you are about your current relationship then the “I was in the neighborhood method” may do the trick for you. The obvious advantage is that you get an instant date/meet up! 

Love this! I read your blog like it’s a bible for overcoming the bad break ups. I’m so addicted and I like that it’s enabling me to transfer my addiction from my ex. Just today, an old co worker of mine, we use to flirt a lot back in my previous job had called me not too long ago. I’m wondering if I should respond to his calls and texts. I have been avoiding him for the longest because well, I already know it will only be based on sex. Not sure if I want to indulge in that as I am still very vulnerable since the unofficial break up with my ex. However, I do want to show my ex if I could that I’m no longer crazy and doesn’t need them. So I might want to give this old flame a try. Maybe just casually date. Idfk. Lol. All I know is that I want my ex to see me happy!!!!! So far no contact for about to be a month. But my ex will not know if I’m happy or not being that I’m not on social media like that and plus they unfollowed me and we don’t have mutual friends. So how would my ex know if I’m happy without an “us”? The only glue is my access to their Netflix account which I have been using and now I’m realizing I shouldn’t even use that! My ex will probably view my activity and sees that I have not let go and still need them..even for stupid Netflix. So no more Netflix. I might want to delete the profile that my ex set up for me, but deleting it might give a reaction. Idk what to do.
I have been wondering how to make him love me again, realise he made a mistake and give a second chance. It is even harder as he is in another country. Plus, I really don’t think the NC rule would work on him, because I have been the one who asks question in our relationship, who kept the conversation going when we lived apart for a few weeks. I believe if i implement it now, it will just give him the opportunity to move on, to forget me, because he has a lot going on otherwise (studies, friends, handball, parties…). Did i also ruin my chances by begging for it so much?
Hey I need help! So me and my ex broke up 2 weeks ago. I tried to get her back at first but stopped after I saw it wasn’t working. I just started the no contact phase and am giving her time it’s been 3 days no contact. I’m fine with the no contact but here’s the tricky part, shes getting surgery Tuesday(4 days from now) and is really nervous. When we were together I was a jerk and didn’t make a big deal about it and it hurt her. So now what Idk is should I text her the night before and say something about it like goodluck don’t be nervo use it’ll be okay, just good luck or nothing at all? Help please!!
You see, the real damage is done when one person needs and expects something to change, but the other person is preserving the exact same things the spouse wants to change. For example, there is often a desire for a shift in the power structure of the relationship, but one person resists making any change. The other person who wants the change becomes more and more frustrated.
Legs it (sorry). I need To be best fiends with you to advise me in life ? Good luck ladies it’s hard out there as we’re doing it alone and continuing the human race while we’re at it. My only advice is keep your cards close to your chest and always be the one who he’s living for not like me as I seem to pick the big egos & their ego rules their life! Once your vulnerable your finished!
Make her jealous (optional). This is an optional move because it depends on the situation. If your relationship ended because she was so jealous that you were always hanging around with other girls, then you shouldn't make her jealous or she'll just be reminded of the reason why things didn't work out between you. But if your relationship ended because she thought you were just too into her, or that she was bored by you, then making her jealous is a great move. Here's how to do it:[2]
Let him see it, but don't say it. Tell him you had a great time, and that you could meet up some time to hang out… he will feel like his leg was chopped of for not kissing, but he will know that you want more, that there might be a new, bright future for the two of you. All night he'll be flipping around in bed, thinking about how beautiful you are and how much he wants to get back with you. I'm not saying you should be ice-cold when you meet up, on the contrary, be cold, but a bit mysterious, make him wonder. 

Ok, the first tactic is from my own experience. I don’t have any research to back it up but I feel it will work because it worked on me. One thing that always made me a bit jealous (even though I never voice it) was when a girl I felt really strongly about has a bunch of pictures with a bunch of different guys on her Facebook profile. I know that sounds ridiculous but it legitimately made me like “Damn, that guy got to be in her presence.” Here is the key though, if I felt strongly about a girl (who was single) and I saw a bunch of pictures of her getting totally drunk and making out with a bunch of guys I will no longer feel strongly about her. In fact, I might lose interest entirely. So, I would say that your best bet would be to post innocent pictures with other guys. The key is to be really subtle about it but trust me if your man has a Facebook I promise you he will check your profile from time to time.
Let him see it, but don't say it. Tell him you had a great time, and that you could meet up some time to hang out… he will feel like his leg was chopped of for not kissing, but he will know that you want more, that there might be a new, bright future for the two of you. All night he'll be flipping around in bed, thinking about how beautiful you are and how much he wants to get back with you. I'm not saying you should be ice-cold when you meet up, on the contrary, be cold, but a bit mysterious, make him wonder.
Through marital or couple therapy, the counsellor can help the couple increase effective communication skills, assist in looking at each other’s perspective, discuss what makes a relationship work and what a healthy relationship looks like, help identify specific problems and dynamics of the relationship, understand gridlocked conflicts, and help establish interventions and strategies that will help strengthen conflict management skills.

If you’ve been answering yes to lots of the questions above, then it’s likely that you’ll answer yes to this one too. Why? Because believing that your girlfriend is the most suitable partner you could realistically get, creates a scarcity mindset around attractive women which brings out all the needy, desperate and try-hard (i.e. unattractive) behaviors that we discussed above.

"The strongest part of any family is wanting to spend the small day-to-day moments together, like going for ice cream or to the park," says Spencer. She's not saying stay together for the kids, but she is suggesting you think twice before you file the divorce papers, breaking up the family. Spencer says ask yourself the following questions: Do you still enjoy doing things together as a family? Do you find that doing things with the kids but without your husband makes you sad? "If you really enjoy spending time together as a family unit, maybe that unit is worth keeping together."
My situation is a little different than most, we’ve been together for 5 years and he’s currently in the military now, he just ended things, with multiple reasoning but the last one was him saying he didn’t have time for a girlfriend nor did he want one. It’s been a week since we broke up and also a week of NC, I haven’t reached out, but is this going to work, is he really going to miss me even with us being so far away and his schedule being so hectic?? Please someone give me some advice…

It works better with guys you know in real life, but if you’re having trouble getting started then pick your favorite actor. The important part is that you do this once per day, and that you really stick with it. It might not seem like it’s doing much at first, but in reality it’s detoxing your mind consciously and unconsciously from your ex, and putting you in a much better mental state.

You get the Save The Marriage System,  the bonus audios, a bonus set of rules for fair fighting, and a complete bonus ebook!  If I haven’t managed to convince you by now, it is time for me to give up! If this is not right for you, then please, move on. But, if you are really ready to take action, I can give you the tools you need! Please, take action and Save Your Marriage


Now, if by happenstance you run into him, that’s a different story. It would be a good idea to be cheerful, positive, and in a good mood when you see him.  Don’t get pulled into any conversations about the relationship or any debates about what went wrong, whose fault it was, or anything like that. And don’t be pouty or outright mean. That’s just immature.

I’m starting to change and see the signs, like when were both in similar states or stiuations and he is in worse luck then me I have to watch my words and be supportive, for example we were both signing up for college classes and I got in and had all my classes in, but the college was having alot of technical difficulties with him and there was very little I could do to help him except for try to be on class watch for him
Thanks so much for this. I broke up with my boyfriend and want him back. We just kept arguing i was jealous.. he said he only had eyes for me me and i was the love of his life. It has hurt him so much i know.. but im so willing to change.. i followed your tips i look great, have fun and he still looks at me like i am the one but says sex with no emotional strings is how he wants to do it for now as he is still hurting and probablyv thinks ill do it all again..but i won’t.I hope he comes back totally.. at the moment im working on trying to get him tovstart taking me to his local bar with him again.. we went all the time before. im taking itvslowly anyway. I never want to hurt him again
So he moved out of my flat but he left the majority of his stuff here at my apartment. I went on a trip and I asked him to take his stuff from my place for good, he had 7 days for that. When I arrived home, nothing happened, his stuff were still here. During my holiday I didn’t contact him, when he messaged me, I didn’t respond him. When I was traveling home he messaged me like “we need to talk.” I didn’t know what could happened, so I replied with a simple “about what?” when he told me he didn’t have the emotional strength to take his stuff and he also was worried about me that if something terrible happened to me or what? So I replied to his messages focusing on the context like “I’m gonna pack your stuff alone” and then he asked me if I need help with it, I answered him with a simple “no”. So did I violated the “no contact rule” here? Can we consider all this as “emergency”? and also do you think I made “one of the biggest mistakes” by being too cold or rude? Please help me, I don’t want to drive him away, I don’t know what to do. :(
I’m trying this out… We broke up almost 3 months ago. Within a week he had a new girlfriend. He told me he just wants to be friends. But also says how he can’t get over me, is still in love with me and wants to have a baby. But what I can’t understand is why he doesn’t want to me committed with me. We’ve been talking for the past two weeks and even had sex a few times. After reading this I feel like I should just start over. Step by step.. At this point I really don’t know how else to deal with it!! My enitre heart is broken, he’s truly the love of my life… Advise please!!!

Hi, we work at same place and she sit just front of me so we see each other 100 times a day. Not able to apply no contact rule properly. Two months in no contact but not working as both are at same place. But whenever I text her in urgent no reply from her. In a month we will not be together, so should I wait to be apart when she will feel it or everything in her seems dead for me. I can’t take her rigid nature of not texting back or receive emergency call. What she want. I am not well and can’t focus on my personal life and career which is not good for me.
I’ m here writing about a boy again even though I ve promised myself I wouldn t. It s a boy from my village, always liked him but seemed so far away and the kind of chasing girls.Until 2 years ago he comes out of sudden where I was siting with my girlfriends and aks “accidentaly” who am i. Days after he reaches me at a cafe and asks if i’d like to meet him tonight. I was going through a difficult period and said to myself to say yes and give more chances without pushing situations and worry. i really thought it was a one time thing . turns out i really liked him and every now and then he texted me to meet. Eventually i invited him home since I was alone. After some days he came without telling me and rings my bell. he does come and check my house without telling me.Sometimes he opens up to me , talked me about his past,that he had a long relantionship that he can t get over. Also told me that with me it s not just sex but love. Even so when I leave from there he rarerly talks to me on fb or like my posts. Sometimes asks when I will come again, but lately he never talks to me or even say hi in public. Last time we met he was asking me things like if i had done something with someone else, if i have brought other guys at home, other time aked what was going on with some guy that was talking to me and things like that, but when i asked if he had done something with someone else he said yes and asked if it did matter. I didn t reply. He didnt talk to me or wished for my birthday.Now that i m here again for summer holidays he saw me my first week here when i was out saturday night and i returned home he showed up minutes after saying “i thought you would return this time”. It was really late,he stayed very little time And when he left said that we will talk again and “goodnight”. He hadhad to say goodnight since the first times we met. But a month passed and so sign of him. And to make matters worse, a girl we hang out with brought another girl here and immediately he talked to her,she gave him herfb,instagram in frond of me while i was trying to ignore him and he was talking to my friend next to me(?), he asked her go for an evening bath at the sea and next day he was out with them for coffee for hours,at the same cafe i was in. And im sure thethey were out together at night too… I m very devastated. He never sawed that kind of interest on me! Never invited me somewhere and he seems to talk to literally every girl but me! I don t know what to do! I m so frustrated i didn t sleep at all all night. I really havent talked to anyone about all this so i cant ask for any help or anything…please help me
Do something nice for her without expecting her to pay you back. If she's studying late for an exam, pop by with her favorite tea or coffee and let her know that you know she's going to kill it tomorrow. If one of her friends gets in an accident, stop by and pay your respects (the friend will definitely let your ex know you stopped by). If your ex mentions she wanted to see a movie, buy her two tickets for her and her friend to see, and don't butt in. Your time will come soon.
Get moving. During this time, it’s a great idea to get active. It’s practically common knowledge that exercise provides many benefits on various levels, both physically and emotionally. Exercise can help us reduce our stress levels, boost our mood, relieve anxiety, increase relaxation, helps us stay focused and the list goes on and on. And of course, in addition to feeling good, exercise will also help you look really good! Fortunately, getting moving is more fun than ever thanks to a wide variety of options out there. You’ve got Zumba, CrossFit, Salsa, Pole dancing, Barre Method, Soul Cycle, Yoga, Pilates… really whatever you want. You can also just opt to go the old-fashioned route and run on the treadmill or outside when it’s nice. Just do something to get those endorphins pumping!

Yes, it’s no secret that an increase in the frequency and intensity of arguments with your partner are a clear indication that all is not well with your marriage. Now, don’t panic here just because you and your spouse are fighting a few times a week… every married couple will disagree and have conflicts from time to time, and it’s actually a healthy thing to argue now and then as long as they lead to resolutions or don’t leave lingering hard feelings.


I’m definitely NOT saying you should have been looking to have a kid with her recently – not at all. I’m just saying that the relationship should have been very gradually progressing into more and more serious territory. Women need to notice this kind of progress because it shows them that eventually the relationship could lead to her delivering what nature intended – kids.
You can try and prove to your girlfriend how much you love her, but it will not lead you to the desired result. Such behavior will only widen the gap between you. A woman simply can’t return your feelings in such a situation, this is very subconscious for them. Their DNA is programmed differently than that of men, and women can have feelings for completely different things than men.

Relationships often go through difficulties and misunderstandings. You most likely had serious arguments, after which you forgave each other. Sometimes, arguments lead to the demise of a relationship, though. And if you don’t start to act, having a good idea of what you need to do, your relationship will be doomed forever. It depends on you whether you will get your girlfriend back, or if she would be gone forever.
My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday night I couldn’t believe it I was really hurt and I have been texting him a bunch.I’m pretty sure I just ruined any chance of getting back together.he said he likes me a little still but says he’s not upset about breaking up with me.its so confusing and I hope I didn’t ruin the chance to get back together because I love him a lot.I’m really upset. 

It is okay to have suspicions. It is okay to have speculations. It is okay to have doubts. But it is also okay to confirm your speculations. I was initially in the place as I speak of but I was able to put my speculations to rest by contacting a freelance engineer (alphablakkhat at gmailcom) to do minor spy job for me. I was sad that I was susspecting my loving husband. I mean this man was actually standing up for me EVERYWHERE and on EVERY FRONT.


By reaching out too soon, you risk falling into a post-relationship relationship. Meaning you talk on occasion and you hang out from time to time, but your relationship is totally undefined and the needle doesn’t seem to be moving in one direction or the other. That’s because you’re both lacking clarity and that’s because you need a period of no contact to get your minds straight. If you don’t take this time, everything will remain cloudy and confusing.
Well we got back together all was good until I went back into my old ways of being insecure and needy. We had a big fight that reminded him of why he broke up with me. We ended up making up and I left the next day to go home ( he lives in the city and I live in the country) he told me he loves me and to let him know when Im moving back in 2months time and he’s going to miss me until then. When I got home I overcontacted him I apologized, he said it was ok. 2weeks later I pressured him and push cause I wanted to move down alread, he got angree and brought up the argument we last had and told be he has no interest in seeing me. After 2weeks we talked and he was ok and was back to asking me to let him know when I’m moving back. But I played into my insecurity and overcontacted again calls, texts, emails. He has now ask that I don’t call him as he has nothing to say to me and he’s going interstate to stay with his friend for a while. So yeah Ive messed up. Going to give him space for a while and see what happens. I don’t believe it’s a lost cause, I really have to change.

If you do happen to hear through the grapevine that your ex is seeing someone new, try not to jump to conclusions or let jealousy set in. By no means should you do anything to try to thwart a new relationship. Let your ex have some time to find out if you are really the one; you don't want to force a person to be with you who really wants to be with someone else.
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