Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround. They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error.
I won’t convince you that everything will be easy. You will have to try much harder than you would if it’s been only days since she left, but any situation has a solution. It’s a lot easier to get your girlfriend back if it’s been less than three months since your separation. However, I would like to note that my method works even if it’s been a long time.
If you think this is one of those times then you are in the right place. This guide is all about getting that one last chance to make things right. This guide will give you the knowledge that you need to get your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend back and keep them. If your relationship still doesn’t work, then you can rest assured that this relationship wasn’t meant to be. But if it works, you will be glad that you took the time to read these 3 steps.
You can’t just dive back into the relationship and expect everything to be different this time around. You broke up for a reason, probably several reasons, and those reasons will still be there unless properly dealt with. You can’t do the same thing and expect different results, that’s just insane (literally, I think that’s the actual definition of insanity).
I’m devasted, we broke up more than a month now. We have been together for 5months. I got out of a previous relationship of 7years that had more bad than good times so I ended it. Met my now ex unexpectedly after a month. We connected immediately, like we understand each other. It was so weird, I will get myself ready to say something and he would think the very same thing. I experienced real love with this man for the first time in my life and we have been through a lot during our time of dating. Then the drama started. He accused me of cheating on him, I not that type of girl, why would I cheat on him his the greatest thing that I’ve had. So he left me, I love him and I know he loves me too although I heard his very happy. How do I prove my innocence or do I just leave it go on as difficult as it is and let things sort themselves out. I love him and do not want to lose him, I know for a fact I’m the 1st woman he loved in his life. I have not made contact with him. I feel hurt that he will accuse me on of such a thing. How do I handle the situation.
My boyfriend broke up with me 6months ago..saying things like, I want I be on my own, go out with mates, we weren’t getting on anymore. Which I thought was bizarre because we would always joke around, we were together for 4&half years. Took him only 2 months to find a new girlfriend he seems to of forgotten all about me, I haven’t saw him in them 6 months nor contacted I would life to get back with him As he is my best friend. And I truly love him. Any help appreciated
While it is important to not pursue your ex for a month or so, it's okay to be responsive if he or she pursues you. In other words, if you get a call, don't hang up on your ex or refuse to talk. It is not necessary to try to play mind games or play hard to get, and doing so would have the potential to push him or her further away, which is the opposite of your goal at this point.
Please help me and my boyfriend we didn’t have a fight but I took all my anger and stress out on him for three weeks straight and now he can’t be happy because he is hurt. I need your loving and kindness to help us it’s got to the point where if this feeling that he has ( that’s getting worse )can’t get better then we will have to end our relatinship. We both love each other and we want this relatinship to work, it’s our fist real relatinship and we want this to work. I’ve been praying and hoping please St Jude give my boyfriend the strength to move past this feeling I’m begging you.
This article sounds good i want my ex to come back to me, only becouse we had a great relationship and i never wanted him to leave. It was he who said that it was nfot going to work anymore just becouse she started a new job and didn’t have the time and let’s be honest he was lazy and didn’t wanted to commit at the end… Anyway i know he is the one for me all is needed is for him to make the decition and take responsibility. Does that sounds like i am desparate and do you think we should be thogether if i have done all for us and he saw a little obsticle on the way and decided he can’t do it.?…..
Joe Dillon, MBA is a professional divorce mediator and founder of Equitable Mediation Services. Joe is passionate about helping couples avoid the destruction of attorney-driven litigation and knows first-hand that the right information, combined with the right expertise and the right kind of support can make the challenging process of divorce less expensive, less time-consuming and less stressful for divorcing couples and their families.
He broke up with me first: he said that it was because he felt like we didn’t have a future together, that it felt impossible that i learned the language ( which i was doing), that I was asking for too much of his time, that he didn’t feel like he could do all the things he wanted with his friends. but I couldn’t accept it, I wanted to fight for the love we had, so much, I negociated, I asked for more time, I begged, I told him that if he still loved me it would be worth it. after a day of speaking he said ok. A week after I asked him again ( because I was afraid and I had been walking on eggshells all week), he said that he still had that feeling that we wouldn’t be together forever, but he told me he loved me and he really wanted to work for it, to work on it and make it work! ( i was so happy!)
By reaching out too soon, you risk falling into a post-relationship relationship. Meaning you talk on occasion and you hang out from time to time, but your relationship is totally undefined and the needle doesn’t seem to be moving in one direction or the other. That’s because you’re both lacking clarity and that’s because you need a period of no contact to get your minds straight. If you don’t take this time, everything will remain cloudy and confusing.
According to research, the number one cause of the breakup of romantic relationships is failure to communicate. If your relationship was otherwise happy, this problem can often be fixed by setting clear expectations and openly discussing frustrations before things explode in a big fight. Other issues can be harder to overcome, like infidelity or jealousy; but with work and counseling, even these types of issues are possible to work through.
Thanks so much for this. I broke up with my boyfriend and want him back. We just kept arguing i was jealous.. he said he only had eyes for me me and i was the love of his life. It has hurt him so much i know.. but im so willing to change.. i followed your tips i look great, have fun and he still looks at me like i am the one but says sex with no emotional strings is how he wants to do it for now as he is still hurting and probablyv thinks ill do it all again..but i won’t.I hope he comes back totally.. at the moment im working on trying to get him tovstart taking me to his local bar with him again.. we went all the time before. im taking itvslowly anyway. I never want to hurt him again
Hello …love warriors..I very recently ended a 4 yr relationship. ..the last 2 of those 4 yrs we lived 2gether..I’m opting for “no contact” 4 now…..what confuses me..and this question is really for the men is…why would he want to make love to me …when he knew we were going our separate ways…he was very determined to make that happen….I really don’t think that was fair or right….note:…& he contacted me days after our departure..saying he’s glad to hear my voice & he’s thinking about me every minute of the day…wow…smh…pls Jason tell me why he did the lovemaking….b4 it ended….#sleeplessnights #lotsoftears #discardedprincessginger
I began to see a woman who had two children under the age of seven. She was considering a divorce from a man I met in the course of treatment. He was a doctor who had dedicated himself to taking care of the indigent. As I got to know this couple, I found myself admiring both of them. They were both intelligent, kind, and thoughtful. They were both not only good parents, but good citizens. They were people that I would have wanted to introduce to each other had I known them personally. And yet they were both determined to separate. There had been too much water under the bridge. Each had hurt the other in petty ways. Each had failed to help the other at times when help was needed. It seemed to me that these circumstances were not fatal, and that both could and should forgive each other and move on. It did not seem to me that what had come between them was so awful, it could not be remedied. But they had—both of them—made up their minds. Despite the stress on their children, despite considerable economic difficulties, they proceeded to make separate lives. And that was where things stood years later.
Hi I need ur advice can u able to help me I want my bf back he don’t break up with me but have affair with other girl and say ones he break up with her than think for me when ever he marry just marry with me not her so y at present he talk with that girl y he is not with me and all his friends post on that girls time line and that girl send me pics off my bf with her I really need help pls if possibal replay me by mail I need help I want my bf back with me any how I will do it plz so me a track to get him back …
Right now is your time. While your instincts are to obsess over your ex boyfriend and run through your mind over and over again as to what you did wrong, you have to stop thinking this way. So what I want you to do is start writing down your vision of the future and what you want. Don’t think so much about what happened in the past, but focus on what you are going to do to start healing.
I don’t know if I have done the right thing. I sent my ex an email to say that I didn’t want to leave things on a bad note and that I hope one day he finds that special girl that will make him happy and one that will understand him as he is special and a complex person and that there is only one of him. That in time hopefully we will be able to become friends. Ended with all the best…Have I done the wrong thing as he didn’t answer me and I know he has read the message??
Legs it (sorry). I need To be best fiends with you to advise me in life ? Good luck ladies it’s hard out there as we’re doing it alone and continuing the human race while we’re at it. My only advice is keep your cards close to your chest and always be the one who he’s living for not like me as I seem to pick the big egos & their ego rules their life! Once your vulnerable your finished!
what if he doesnt want to b with u..??what if u r ready to forgive him for his every faults even ready to say sorry infinite times without my fault but he is not ready to feel regret for anything he did with me to hurt me…what if u want him for whole ur life but he doesnt ready to listen ur voice ….what if u wana do everything anything for him but he hate ur every action and ur feelings……???
Dear God, I have hit rock bottom. I have nowhere to turn and nobody to rely on. You are my rock. You are the only way. I am here no on my knees… holding back the flood of tears. Give me wisdom to save my relationship with my boyfriend Willie.I want him back in my life. I love him lord. I don’t want Willie to go to another woman/girl. I really really want him back. Please Lord Strengthten our Relationship and strengthen our love lord. I know only you can save this. I beg up you. I plead with you. Show us a better way together. Please open his heart to my love and your forgiveness. Please touch his soul at this very moment. Where ever he is and what he is doing… touch him Lord. Help him see we need to save this love. Please, I ask and pray with all the strength that you are giving me just to be able to breathe. i am lost without him. Lord I need him. I need to feel your love with him. Dear Lord I pray. Please give me the right words, guide me to help save our relationship. Show me how strong I can be through you. My tears soak my spirit, my heart is breaking. I cannot hold on. I feel like every ounce of life is draining from me. Renew me. Renew me. Make him see. Use us as an example of how forgiveness and your love can save and change people. Help him rebuke satan and his temptations. I love him so dear Lord. I will honor you with my love for him. Give me this chance. Please reach out to him now and help him see we need to save this. I love you Lord. I will never doubt your ability. Please do this. Save us. Please. I beg u Lord..
im doing the same thing you’ll do now your not alone i know it hurts but that what u should do, let him lose you and thinks hes a failure dont allow him to think he can play with your feelings, your not his toy if he cant decide what he wants then leave him to grom up and make decisions in life, hes immature and you did the right thing your so smart of going no contact and standing on what you want bravo, now do not let him take advantage and decide what he wants do what you want, you want him as a bf he didnt respect that he wants friends you dont so bye to him and lifes always comes around believe me one day he’ll come begging to have you back.
You see, the real damage is done when one person needs and expects something to change, but the other person is preserving the exact same things the spouse wants to change. For example, there is often a desire for a shift in the power structure of the relationship, but one person resists making any change. The other person who wants the change becomes more and more frustrated.
I so wanna do this nc thing but when i do say 2 days, he will text me little questions like “do you remember where i put my …” And i have never never ignored him at all. Yes he has signs of a narcissist. And he comes from a broken family. We worked at the same place and thats hard for me. You know people would talk and all. I have been laughed at for being the provider. From money to time to chauffeuring him. And that hurts because i did all that in the name of love. But he didn’t appreciate me. In fact he treats me like kids treating a mom. No calls the whole day, busy with everyone. Only finds me when he needs something. He cheats on me too.
Im a lesbian and was with this girl for four years going 5 on july.she ask space for 3months no communication,no seeing each other so I gave her space but i broke my promise not to call,text and see her. I called her 12 times and ive been texting her also.and worst thing i did, iwent to her office so she saw me and ask what are you doing here, i told her i miss you i wanna see you.and i also ask her when she will come back and if she still love me. I keep on forcing her to answer until she pissed. So i went home and received text messages ftom her saying im not happy with what you did. I starting to hate you and you ask me if i still love you no i dont love you anymore. Now i dont know what to do? I dont wanna lose her.. pleasehelp me what to do not to lose her and to love me again..please
There’s this guy I used to date and I honestly don’t remember who broke up with who but my friend asked him why he doesn’t like me and he said I hurt him real bad but I don’t remember ever hurting him all I remember is him dating my other friend and I really want him back but it would be so awkward to walk up to him. We never talk but I really want him back!
“I was absolutely crushed when my boyfriend broke up with me seemingly out of the blue. Beyond devastated. I read so many articles on how to get your ex back but they all seemed so stupid. Then I found you guys. I read what you wrote about the no contact rule, and also questions to ask before getting back together with an ex and my mind was blown. I followed your advice to a T and when I was feeling really strong, I contacted him. We ended up meeting for a drink and he said I seemed different, more relaxed and comfortable with myself. We didn’t dive right back in, it was a slow process but it felt so different the second time. I didn’t feel so needy and terrified of losing him and everything just felt different. Anyway, we’ve been going strong for two years now and are looking for a place to move into together and I owe it all to you!”
Seriously though, if you see any book, product or article that guarantees that it can get you your ex back 100% of the time you should stop and realize that you are probably about to look at something that was made up just to get you to buy it or read it. Ironically, a lot of the stuff out there that makes these ridiculous claims offer no value and leave you feeling taken advantage of.
If your ex has fallen into the friend zone (for example, if he or she says "I'm no longer in love with you"), you might be able to recreate the experience of falling in love by building intimacy with your ex. In one study, a researcher had two strangers stare into each other's eyes and then answer personal questions (like "What is your biggest fear?" and "What is your best memory from childhood?"). They were able to create an intimate bond between the strangers, creating attraction and even the feelings of love. Try spending time looking into your ex's eyes and asking deep questions and see if this helps move your relationship back into intimate territory.
Save my relationship with my boyfriend. i love him so much and i want to spend the rest of my life with him. He stopped loving and our relationship fell apart i have trying Lord really hard. i traveled across seas to be with him and yet he looks at me like Please fix us almighty. help him see how much i love him so that he may return to me with more love than he did before.