Or you can say something like: "You may not like it, but most of what I do now, I do it for you. You've made a better person. I understand what it means to care for someone now that I've been with you. I want to share that with you again, this time better. Because I can't deny that I still have feelings for you. I'd be lying to myself and lying to the world."
My boyfriend just broke up with me 3 days ago and weve been together for 2 years and 8 months. We had been madly in love with each other and he asked me to marry him twice even tho we couldn’t actually get married because we were only 16 at the time but he asked me all the time well we got in a fight and I told him I couldn’t handle how he was treating me so I told him we needed to break up, he was very heart broken and cried and begged me to take him back and I did within 5 hours. But then about 4 months later he broke up with me he said he wasn’t the same since I broke up with him and that he was done. well while we were broken up for about a week he had sex with another girl, just a rebound hook up and he hates talking about it. but He had lied to me about it when we got back together and said they had kissed and he left and I didn’t care because I had my love back, but then 7 months later we were using his phone to get on facebook and he accidently sent a message to a girl we were both talking for different reasons and he said oh hey I accidently sent molly a message on your facebook I thought I was on mine. well I didn’t really think much of it but then I was wondering what could he be talking to her about? well I got on his facebook and he was talking to molly about her best friend he had the rebound hook up with and I freaked out and left and he called me franticly wanting to know where I went and I asked him about him having sex with another girl and that he had told me they only kissed and he came clean and said he did and he told me he understood if I never talked to him again but I love him more than life so I said no were just gonna have to work through it and your going to have to be patient with me because you’ve lost almost all my trust. well we did have our fights but we always worked through them and figured out what was wrong but I did use him lying to me as a weapon when we got in fights and he started to get very angry that I was still bringing it up. well we talked and before he had broken up with me the first time he said that if we broke up again he would never get back together with me because he didn’t want to string things out but we did get back together he text me saying he still loved me and wanted me back so we got back together. Then he had me move into his parents house with him and things were normal but he got another job and worked more hours so it added some stress and I was getting stressed out about my own job and we did take it out on each other. but we had our good days and bad ones we would go on date nights and laugh and have fun and I asked him if we break up were never getting back together are we? and he just wrapped me in a hug and said it doesn’t matter how many times we break up we will always get back together because I love you way too much to let you go forever. well I found out he had been messaging other girls about our relationship issues which really bothered me because I thought we could talk about anything and sharing any of our concerns with each other he told me all the time that I was his best friend and I would joke around and say yeah well your not mine but then I would tell him later that he is my best friend and I love him. I just wanted to be able to talk about anything and not hide things. but then on my graduation night three days ago I had to work at 5 am and then do my grad stuff and he had to work at noon so we weren’t going to really see each other except after my graduation so when we got home after dinner he told me he didn’t have to be at work for a half hour and I thought oh cool we can hangout and relax since we haven’t seen each other all day well he started to rush off to work and I got upset and I said so your choosing work over me on my grad night? and he got mad and left when he came home from work he went in the bathroom and left his phone on the night stand I did think I was going to find anything on his phone he had only talked to his mom and a co worker but I was bored so looked through what he was saying to his mom and pretty much he felt like we needed to break up but he felt bad about it and didn’t know what to do and his mom just didn’t want him to feel stuck but he also was talking about how I got upset at him going to work but twisted it so it was completely different then why I was mad. well when he came back I just quoted his text to his mom and asked so you don’t want to be together anymore and he got upset and withdrew from me but after we talked for awhile we weren’t as mad at each other and my friend asked if she needed to pick me up because I told her what was going on and I told my boyfriend that she would come get me but then he changed and was telling me I didn’t have to leave and I could stay there with him but I just calmly said no its okay Ill leave and while I was waiting for my friend it actually looked like he was about to cry before I left. well the next morning I text him asking where we were at relationship wise and the night before he said he didn’t know what he wanted to do yet that I should keep my key to the house because he didn’t know what was going to happen yet, well when I text him he told me he just couldn’t get back together and that it was over and he was done but in a way that didn’t sound like him. and I begged him not to do that but I just went to the house and moved my stuff out while he was gone and I asked him what things he wanted me to take and he didn’t really care if it was something I got him he would say well ill keep it but if you want it you can take it. then yesterday I text him wondering if he could bring my cd and a couple other things I left at his house to my house and if we could talk and he was very short and said he didn’t know what we would talk about when the other night he said we could talk whenever I needed to and that he was always here for me and that he still cares about me and that you don’t be with someone and spend almost 3 years of your life with someone and not still care for them but when he replied with being angry and mean I just stop texting him because hes acting really weird and idk if its because hes hurt to and confused and doesn’t know what to do because he told me hes not happy with where hes at (he graduated last year and isn’t in school just works) and that hes going no where in life and that I deserve better and hes just an assh*le to me and not doing anything with his life and that hes super stressed out. so I don’t know what to do I haven’t text him today and all my friends say to just give him space and even his sister said let him be he will start missing you after a few days and hell want you back which I hope is true because I want to start over with a clean slate like this articles says and just try again but different approach I know what Ive been doing wrong and I love him so much and I know he use to love me too and when were together we are super happy when its just us but his friend who told me he was jealous of mine and my boyfriends relationship because his gf is off in the navy now he wouldn’t let us have time alone just constant on top of us even my boyfriends parents would ask me about it and say wow you guys don’t get alone time anymore and it made me stressed out because he is just using my boyfriends house as a place to drink and smoke and he gets jealous when my boyfriend isn’t giving him all his attention and I feel like that also had stressed him out too which sucks because Ive been blinded by my own problems and stress I didn’t realize he was hurting too. so im talking to his mom tomorrow to find out if I even still have a chance and whats actually going on with my boyfriend =/ I just hope that he cares about me enough to still want to try but idk I need advice on what I need to do and what I should do!
If you want someone back that has done that to you, you need to work on your boundaries and self esteem. I’ve totally been there and I know how you feel. I know it’s hard; you’re not alone. What’s done is done but now it’s time to have your own back, speak with your actions and take care of YOU. You deserve so much more and I know you know it 🙂 xoxoxo
Please help me and my boyfriend we didn’t have a fight but I took all my anger and stress out on him for three weeks straight and now he can’t be happy because he is hurt. I need your loving and kindness to help us it’s got to the point where if this feeling that he has ( that’s getting worse )can’t get better then we will have to end our relatinship. We both love each other and we want this relatinship to work, it’s our fist real relatinship and we want this to work. I’ve been praying and hoping please St Jude give my boyfriend the strength to move past this feeling I’m begging you.
I don’t know what to do. I met this guy. Stayed the night with him since DAY ONE. Five and a half years. It was an extremely rough relationship. Started fighting after six months. I couldn’t forgive him for all the bad things he had done to us. Lie after lie after lie. He went away for six months best the end of our relationship and we talked on the phone every single day. When he came back home, we both said that we would do whatever it takes to make things work for good. No arguing, etc. I couldn’t let go of the past and I started arguing with him about EVERYTHING. Especially if he even looked at another woman. Things got really really bad at the end. I started treating him like crap and didn’t care how I talked to him. After we broke up we still talked almost every day. He would still come over and be with me. But, I kept messing things up. I still would start arguments because I was afraid that he was putting other women above me. He’s dating one of our co workers now. And he moved in with her too. We’ve officially been separated for six and a half months now. He officially started dating her after I snapped at him one last time back in the beginning of February. I don’t feel the same tension that I did. I don’t feel the same hate anymore. I love him so much and I want him back. I got upset with him in the beginning of March and he teared up and told me that “I wanted it to be YOU!!!” But, he’s with this new chick. And he said that it’s a new relationship. How do I get him back? I know he loves me. I know it to be true. We all three work together but rarely do I see her anymore. Please, help me. I did the no contact rule for 30 days. April 2nd, before leaving work I apologized for being so selfish during the breakup and told him that I it makes me so happy to see him happy. He sincerely said “Thank you”. After he was shocked that is. After that day, we started having more laughs at work. Then I text him something funny the other day after we got off work and he responded “lol”. I haven’t heard from him since. I’m worried that he’s too happy and comfortable in his new relationship that I won’t be able to get him back into my personal life again. What am I to do?
Don't try to save a relationship that's toxic or abusive. There's really no way to work on a relationship that's based on toxic patterns or abuse. No amount of working on communication techniques or trying to reignite the romance is going to make things better long-term. You may feel that you're getting something out of the relationship, but you have a lot more to gain by being free.
Stop being jealous. Being jealous will get you nowhere. Jealousy is associated with fear and anxiety, two unattractive traits to have. Plus, what you're non-verbally telling her is that you want to control her. No one wants to be controlled. So learn to fight your jealousy if you can, and focus on being non-threatening. You'll get more bees with honey than you will with vinegar.
Well we got back together all was good until I went back into my old ways of being insecure and needy. We had a big fight that reminded him of why he broke up with me. We ended up making up and I left the next day to go home ( he lives in the city and I live in the country) he told me he loves me and to let him know when Im moving back in 2months time and he’s going to miss me until then. When I got home I overcontacted him I apologized, he said it was ok. 2weeks later I pressured him and push cause I wanted to move down alread, he got angree and brought up the argument we last had and told be he has no interest in seeing me. After 2weeks we talked and he was ok and was back to asking me to let him know when I’m moving back. But I played into my insecurity and overcontacted again calls, texts, emails. He has now ask that I don’t call him as he has nothing to say to me and he’s going interstate to stay with his friend for a while. So yeah Ive messed up. Going to give him space for a while and see what happens. I don’t believe it’s a lost cause, I really have to change.
Personally, I wouldn’t consider it an emergency if he’s without some of his stuff. However, if for whatever the reason he was so worried something happened to you, at some point he would ACTUALLY start looking for you, whether it’s at work or at home, in which you would find it sweet of course, but at the same time you can tell him you’re fine and just need some space.
One great piece of advice that you’ll find in my Free Email Article Series is the importance of spending time together with no “marriage talk” and no pressure. Just to remember that you can enjoy each other’s company. (This might pleasantly surprise both of you when there is less anger in the air). This is Allison and I in Cape Cod Last Year celebrating 12 years!
You have the attraction back by this point already from the previous steps, so most of what you need to do now is just get out of your own way, and let the getting-back-together process happen on its own. In other words, you need to know what mistakes to AVOID, to prevent yourself from sabotaging the getting-back-together process, which is supposed to happen fairly naturally after the first 7 steps.
My girl broke up with me a few days ago said she can’t trust me, we don’t spend a lot of time together, my fault really, I miss her so much but she said she wants to forget about me, which she said is very hard, she got some bad advice from her friend and me working late doesn’t help, sooooo she feels like I’ll cheat on her we had talked bout marriage but never made any real decisions, right now she doesn’t wanna know about me, what should I do? Any suggestions?
well that was happened with my ex too..he said he miss me alot even i did not give him pleasure..and i am the best ever for his whole life but he want to be single for now..and want to meet other girls it is really hurt me a lot..i change a lot i follow the tips here we never talk for 2 months now..since we broke up and he want to be good friends with me but it will be hurt me so much while he was seing with other girl..so now i was learned my self to forget him..i dont know but it hurtss me badly we are happy in our relationship for 2yrs..
Legs it (sorry). I need To be best fiends with you to advise me in life ? Good luck ladies it’s hard out there as we’re doing it alone and continuing the human race while we’re at it. My only advice is keep your cards close to your chest and always be the one who he’s living for not like me as I seem to pick the big egos & their ego rules their life! Once your vulnerable your finished!
Me and my ex were together for 4 and a half months. She mentioned a while ago when a guy messaged her that they had a thing before me and her but she assured me that it was the past. Apparently not. She broke up with me because I don’t have a job and I’m apparently lazy. I smoke cigarettes and weed and I am forcing myself to quit these things and I feel like its the only chance of getting her back. Ive also been looking suuuper hard.for a job, but it isnt easy when youre17. This guy that she had a thing with before us is now going all out to try and snatch her up. She broke up with me a week ago and I got information from her friend that she has already gone out on 2 dates with him… that hit me like a train. As soon as I heard that I bursted into tears. She seems like the type to come back after a while but im just not sure because she mentioned that she just doesnt feel the same way about me as she did before, the “butterflies” are missing. I will do anything in my power to get her back because what i dont think she realises is that I am the one who actually cares about her and loves her and this other guy just wants sex. I am way too attatched to this girl and she has such a huge part of my heart and its killing me that she left me so suddenly. :( I REALLY need your help…
Your relationship with a special guy has come and gone, but now you want him back. It's not unheard of for a couple to get back together after they've taken time away from each other, so don't give up hope. Just be sure to put plenty of thought into the reasons you broke up before attempting to get back together, as this can help you make the relationship work the second time around.