Recall those early days of your relationship when your partner could not get enough of you. He or she would call constantly, stay on the phone for hours, talk with you all night. Now time has passed, and you no longer get butterflies in your tummy when you think of your sweetheart. The spark is gone. You still have romantic feelings for him or her, but you sense that your partner no longer cares as much about the relationship — or at least not as much as you do. You no longer have the upper hand.
I met my Soulmate 6 months ago, but we got together 2 months ago… He lives in London and I live in Germany, so it was a long distance relationship…. I heared bout him before we met cuz he is best friends with my cousins…. The thing now is that my (ex) boyfriend has two roommates (both male) and i had a thing with one of them like 3 years ago…. at that time i didnt even know my boyfriend and he didnt know his now roommate cuz they share a flat for like 2 months…. My boyfriend is so upset cuz i didnt tell him about that, so he broke up… i visited him in London before (2 Times) and this dude was there too and we talked normal cuz this “thing” was long ago and Normung serious…but my bf is just so hurt and i dont know how to make it up again… do you think he can forgive me ?
The wife of a patient of mine told him she was leaving him because he bought a lamp without first consulting him. When I asked to see her, she explained to me that it was not about the lamp. The problem was he never consulted her about matters that affected both of them. Although she had spoken to him many times, he truly had not understood her. It is not uncommon for someone to persistently misunderstand a spouse if he is asked to do things that seem foreign to him, possibly because of the dynamics of the family in which he grew up. No matter how many times she had spoken to him he had not taken her seriously. In the setting of my office, however, it was possible, finally, to get through to him. He had never intended to ignore her and had not realized that that was what he was doing. They had had a failure to communicate. This problem could be managed.
Me and boyfriend have been together for 4 years and we broke up for 4 months last year because I said I would change about my moodiness and I didnt, I didn’t put as much work in as I should of then I got back together with him in June. We have been fine no arguments nothing, until December when I was feeling down and stressed with uni and I was ill with severe iron deficiency but no doctors would listen to me so I have been really stressed and upset and continued to January and I didn’t realise how it was making him feel. Recently we had an argument because I was so low and upset with everything as it was all going wrong I just wanted to know he was there, so was a little needy. I upset him by saying he didn’t care but apologised by getting him a card as I was truly sorry and didn’t mean to hurt him. He has now broke up with me after I said I will change and be myself now I have been treated and we can have fun, I have taken this more serious wrote down my thoughts, his thoughts and how I can change for the better and I am certain I am going to change and want to change. I have asked him for one more chance and he says he doesn’t believe I will change. Do you think there is time and he will regret his decision, I love him so much and I can see a future with him
My wife and I went to a dinner party at a neighbor’s house one weekend. It was a pleasant, but unremarkable affair, full of psychiatrists, as are most of the affairs I attend. Four days later, I walked our dog past their house. There were some newspapers on their steps. I rang the bell, and then looked in their front window. The house was empty. The furniture was gone. They were gone. It turned out they were getting a divorce. It came as a surprise to all those psychiatrists who had attended their party. More commonly the ending of a long-term relationship is drawn out over months and sometimes years, even when both attempt to fix whatever has gone wrong.
Get some new clothes. New times call for new duds. It's a subtle change in you, but the importance will be clear to her: your new outer shell will signal deeper changes underneath. Get that new shirt that you've been wanting to buy, or those new pair of jeans. Looking sharp is an important aspect of physical attraction, and if she sees you looking great in unfamiliar clothes, she'll sense that there's been forward movement, if not wholesale change.
However, before we hit the ground running I feel it is important to mention a few things. The game plan outlined above is not set in stone. Every single relationship is unique and may require unique steps that I haven’t outlined. Knowing what to do can sometimes depend on your gut. So, if your gut is telling you that a particular tactic I have outlined won’t work for you I would definitely trust it. The main takeaway here is that you are going to have to get creative and sometimes even skip entire skips depending on how fast you are moving.
He needs to desire you, a lot. Be sexy and provocative, but don't sleep together the first time you meet to “catch up” and see whether he also wants to get back together or not. Let him think about you. Drop a hook, and make him feel horrible when he sees how much you've improved, how well you are doing, how sexy you look and how your life is taking another direction. Don't try to fake it. He knows you and he'll know whether you're full of crap or not.
A true apology should be structured as follows: regret, responsibility, and remedy. The first step indicates that you are sorry for what you've done. The second step puts the responsibility on you without making excuses or blaming someone else. The final step offers to make it right or change your behavior in the future. For example: "I just wanted to apologize for when I blew you off all those times that you wanted to spend with me. You must've really felt neglected. I'm going to try really hard from now on, to make it a point to do more things with you so you won't feel like that again. I'm glad you gave me your point of view to realize that."
My ex-boyfriend and I have been together for a year and two months. Recently he told me that he is conflicted over him wanting to be with men and wanting to be with me. We spent all our time together and he always took care of me and wrote me sweet cards during our relationship. He told me he was struggling with reaching out to other men and felt like doing so during our relationship would be hurting me. He told me that he cares for and loves me but that he needed time to find out what he wanted and that he would come back to me if he isn’t gay and things aren’t good like what we have. He also said there is nothing I did but that he feels different. He’s been in several relationships with women but I’m his first for everything. I’m 22 and he is 21 and I have had more relationships than him. He feels like he hasn’t explored everything and doesn’t know himself well enough.
So, follow the advice above, and then do this - do more of the above. Lots more. The common thread Gottman found that predicts divorce so well is weaved into it, and it is this: for a marriage to be stable, you must have lots more positive interactions than negative interactions. How much more? Twice as much? No. Three times as much? No. The positive has to outweigh the negative by at least five to one. This is not a number pulled out of a hat. It is a fact.
Here’s my problem, I was begging, pleading, and trying to look pity for my ex-girlfriend just to make her stay. We had sex then goodbye. Then i saw your videos about No Contact Rules. Following your advice about no contact rules was hard as hell. My target is FULL 30 DAYS no contact but in my two weeks of battle. Suddenly she texted me, i try to ignore her, then she call me using other number so we talked since its likely rude to ignore her at all. She told me she wasn’t happy in her new bf. She felt sorry for me. She’s asking me if there was any chance to rebuild our relationship?Is she still welcome to my life? I told her i am awesome now, i currently dating to someone else the she get madly jealous. She doesn’t want me to date others.She really want to see me but ill be the one who refuse to see her. I told her i will only see you when you come back to me. She wanted me to stick around but u said to your videos not to get in friendzone.
It may be sound terrible to you but there is no way to say it in soft words so I can say it loud to you. You have to end your contact with your ex boyfriend for full 21 days. There is no exception to this rule. It doesn’t matter how much you are missing him right now you have to end contacting your ex boyfriend if you want him to get back in your life. This rule is based on strong psychological mechanism and it is proven to work.
Similarly, your relationship also didn’t come to an end just because your ex boyfriends finds someone prettier or sexier than you. It is crucial to understand your ex boyfriend was attract with your seductive, selective and sexier appearance and he didn’t leave you just because he finds someone sexier or seductive than you. If he didn’t like you in the first look then he never pursuit you over the other opportunities he had.
When people explain to me why they stay in unsatisfactory relationships long past the point where family and friends and everyone else encourage them to leave, they often say, “I love him/her.” I know that that is the real reason. Love has evolved as a powerful device to keep people together despite any defect or deficiency of a partner. Nature requires them to stay together long enough to have children. But it is not a good reason. As more or less rational animals, we can make decisions that promote our own individual interests. People who are capable of falling in love once can fall in love again and again if that first relationship breaks apart. The issue each person has to decide in the midst of a bad marriage or a bad affair is whether it is possible to be happy in that relationship—and, really, whether it is possible to be happier with someone else. Unfortunately, the alternative that occurs to many is not another partner, it is loneliness.
Remember that she has a reason for leaving you. In her mind, those reasons are valid no matter how stupid they may seem on the surface to you or anyone else. If you start groveling at her feet begging for another chance, she’ll feel like her reasons for leaving were correct and that she made the right choice. The last thing you want to do is give her the impression that she really can do better.
I have been wondering how to make him love me again, realise he made a mistake and give a second chance. It is even harder as he is in another country. Plus, I really don’t think the NC rule would work on him, because I have been the one who asks question in our relationship, who kept the conversation going when we lived apart for a few weeks. I believe if i implement it now, it will just give him the opportunity to move on, to forget me, because he has a lot going on otherwise (studies, friends, handball, parties…). Did i also ruin my chances by begging for it so much?
If you do happen to hear through the grapevine that your ex is seeing someone new, try not to jump to conclusions or let jealousy set in. By no means should you do anything to try to thwart a new relationship. Let your ex have some time to find out if you are really the one; you don't want to force a person to be with you who really wants to be with someone else.