Focus on patterns. Rather than blaming each other, consider how patterns from each of you has led to problems. For instance, maybe you consistently forget to call home when you're going to be late, and your partner then gets upset when you don't show up. Consequently, you punish him or her the next time by not calling home, which is a cyclical pattern. When you bring it up, focus on how to solve the problem, such as "I will try to be better about calling home, if maybe you can forgive me the few times that I forget. Or maybe you can send me a text near the end of the day, so I will be more aware of what time it is."[10]

Stop, breathe, and relax instead of yelling. No matter how frustrated you are with your spouse, do your very best to control your temper. In order to save your marriage, you and your spouse both need to keep your emotions in check. Inhale slowly, close your eyes, count, and remind yourself that you’ll only solve your problems with mutual respect.[7]


I tried everything imaginable to recover my relationship with my ex. He has a substance problem which I was unaware of for a long time. When I finally discovered it I was naive enough to think his promises of trying to quit would work. The worst part was his interfering guy “friends” who did not want me to break up the party. He is middle aged and so am I. I tried to be tolerant as we had many great times and we compatible in many ways. I do believe this man loved me and I thought we might get married (neither of us had ever been married).

So, find out what messed up your relationship and work on it. Were you too cranky, moody, jealous, demanding, insane, nagging-all-day, not giving him his space and freedom, disrespectful, got fat, made out with another guy, or you just sucked in bed? Whichever it was – fix it. He needs to see that, after a month or so of breaking up, you are progressing; suddenly you became a different person. But do it for you, not for him. Once he sees how much different you became he'll wish you never broke up in the first place, he'll want to give the whole thing another chance too.
Remember, the no contact rule isn’t about him, it’s about you. You’re not cutting off contact to try to spite him, you’re giving yourself time and space to heal from the breakup. That is the goal. The byproduct is that he will most likely miss you during this time and yearn for you and while he’s doing that, you’re becoming a better and stronger version of yourself!
It works better with guys you know in real life, but if you’re having trouble getting started then pick your favorite actor. The important part is that you do this once per day, and that you really stick with it. It might not seem like it’s doing much at first, but in reality it’s detoxing your mind consciously and unconsciously from your ex, and putting you in a much better mental state.
My ex girlfriend dumped me last night. She said that I treated her better than anyone ever had before, and when I asked why she was breaking up with me she said it was because I treated her more like a friend then a girlfriend. I was okay with it and trying to start to move on but then she texted me and said “I hope that this break up wont be a permanent thing and that I hope someday soon we can get back together”I have no clue what to do but I would like to get back togethersince she was the only girl I actually readily liked. Please help.
Dear God, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, grandma, grandpa, all the Angels and Saints and Archangels and anyone else I may have missed. Please help me with my relationship. We’ve been together a little over a year and both have young autistic children who are not getting along. We are trying to blend a family and keep moving forward in the right direction but lately have been stressed and fighting. My boyfriend is having a hard time and he’s closing up and giving up on us. Please pray for me and for the five of us. Please pray for my boyfriend. Help him have an open heart and mind and realize that we need each other and will overcome this. Please pray for him and anything he is going through that I do not know about. Please pray for our two little girls as well as the oldest. Please help them get along. Please help me and my jealous ways and help me to fight off all of my insecurities. Please pray for us tonight and everyday and to ward off anyone’s negative thoughts. Please in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
I began to see a woman who had two children under the age of seven. She was considering a divorce from a man I met in the course of treatment. He was a doctor who had dedicated himself to taking care of the indigent. As I got to know this couple, I found myself admiring both of them. They were both intelligent, kind, and thoughtful. They were both not only good parents, but good citizens. They were people that I would have wanted to introduce to each other had I known them personally. And yet they were both determined to separate. There had been too much water under the bridge. Each had hurt the other in petty ways. Each had failed to help the other at times when help was needed. It seemed to me that these circumstances were not fatal, and that both could and should forgive each other and move on. It did not seem to me that what had come between them was so awful, it could not be remedied. But they had—both of them—made up their minds. Despite the stress on their children, despite considerable economic difficulties, they proceeded to make separate lives. And that was where things stood years later.
I discovered I was pregnant I wanted to keep the baby but he wanted me to have an abortion. After too much pressure from him I gave in and aborted. He’s gone MIA ever since, he won’t respond to texts and only answers my calls after like the fourth ring I apologized this morning for being too demanding about the abortion money he said that he would think about it and that he would organize on how I’d get my stuff from his place. I really love him and I don’t know what to do or where to begin without him. Can the no contact rule to work in this case? Do I have any chances?
My bf broke with me on the 25/11/2017. he said that “The light of our relationship is dying” then we broke up. we dated before but he dumped me first then he actually fell in love with me, then broke with me after one month (he broke up with me right after my birthday which it’s on the 24th of November) we haven’t texted each other for about four months, but he’s still following me on apps. i really, REALLY love him. i also so hurt myself a lot during that time. i don’t know how to get him back. I’m crazy about him. We also made a promise a long time ago about getting married. We always talked about having children and what to name them. i just don’t know why he walked away from me
So, follow the advice above, and then do this - do more of the above. Lots more. The common thread Gottman found that predicts divorce so well is weaved into it, and it is this: for a marriage to be stable, you must have lots more positive interactions than negative interactions. How much more? Twice as much? No. Three times as much? No. The positive has to outweigh the negative by at least five to one. This is not a number pulled out of a hat. It is a fact.
Seriously though, if you see any book, product or article that guarantees that it can get you your ex back 100% of the time you should stop and realize that you are probably about to look at something that was made up just to get you to buy it or read it. Ironically, a lot of the stuff out there that makes these ridiculous claims offer no value and leave you feeling taken advantage of.
a lack of respect on either side. If you or your ex call each other names, belittle each other's accomplishments, or say disparaging things about one another to your family or friends, then there is no respect in that relationship. These are all features of an emotionally abusive relationship.[20] Find someone who shows you the respect you deserve, and commit to treating him or her with respect as well.
Stopping communications with your ex is absolutely imperative because you are going to become a happier and a more attractive person during this step. Remember all the negative traits we talked about in step 1? You have to get rid of all those traits. Think of it as trying to seduce someone new. You have to be confident, calm, relaxed, happy and a fun person to be considered attractive.
Please save our relationship. I come to you cause my hurts without the that i love he is my everything. I just dont understand where we lost each other we are two strong persons in willing. I pray that he will come and find his way back to me. We love each other i know that we do. We just need your hands to guide us back to one another. I know in my heart i bleed for all forgiveness that done wrong and i know he has done wrong as much as i have plz forgive us and give us the strength to find our way back to each other in the name of Jesus Christ our saviour plz help us to be together💔
Please pray with me and help my handsome man let go of his anger and find the love for US, we once had.. Our struggles have been tearing us apart. I pray I can make the changes I need to, for him, myself and for us. My heart is broken knowing he’s so upset, and I’m unable to fix it right now. I feel I have become such a disappointment to him, and I just want him to know how much I love him and want our bond back, to feel close and to feel safe in each other’s arms again. I pray his anger can be replaced with love and happiness the way we are meant to be.
For example, a boy comes to you in a bar and offers you to buy a drink. What will be your response? Most probably you would not value his friendship that much because you didn’t work for it. You may though of saying ‘YES’ to him but very next moment after buying drink you wouldn’t be giving any attention to him. Why?  This is because you didn’t work for it.
Discuss solutions. This step may be the hardest part, coming up with solutions you both can live with. That means agreeing on what you think the main problems are in the marriage and coming up with ways you can both work to make it better. Basically, you need to compromise. Blaming each other isn't going to help, as you've both contributed to the situation you're in.[16]
I have been wondering how to make him love me again, realise he made a mistake and give a second chance. It is even harder as he is in another country. Plus, I really don’t think the NC rule would work on him, because I have been the one who asks question in our relationship, who kept the conversation going when we lived apart for a few weeks. I believe if i implement it now, it will just give him the opportunity to move on, to forget me, because he has a lot going on otherwise (studies, friends, handball, parties…). Did i also ruin my chances by begging for it so much?

My ex and I broke up 3 months ago the relationship was about 6 months. I have a child who is 5 who he was very involved with. He broke up with me and he ended up coming back the same day apologizing. He left because he said he was ready for something so serious. We were great for the next month or so more in love then ever. Then he stopped coming around as much. Would see my child but leave after her bedtime. The sex stopped. Soon he started being short with me and I finally called him out on it. He said he just couldn’t do this that I didn’t do anything wrong. That it was him he just didnt know what was wrong with him but he wasn’t happy. What I think it was is that we got lazy and got into a routine. We started staying home more. And we texted everyday almost all day. Which I think was a big downer on our relationship. Me and him have texted back and forth sometimes mainly I contact him. But he will say I don’t talk to him enough or something. His not dating anyone. He knows I miss him but he won’t see me in person. So I was wondering if I cut off all contact for a few weeks and then maybe see if he will have lunch? I know once he sees me he will realize. I just can’t get him too.
My girlfriend told me she did not love me the same way she used to. That I was more of a best friend type of love… She has new friends that go out alot and she also started to drink socially.. Im not sure this is a cry for independence or because her parents do not a good relationship . So i wondered if she imprinted her dads action on to me as I would treat her as he treats her and her mom….. I tried telling her I could do things differently and so on but she starts med school soon and I am not sure if she wants to be independent or what… I have not texted her and deleted my own facebook to avoid contact. She didnt cheat, we didnt end on a argument. I was the one who said okay goodbye. And thats the last time I talked to her ( 2 weeks ago). Any ideas on what i should do?

please help me out. my ex broke up with with because she said she was tired of the relationship. i met another lady and we are dating. My ex girl who was in the states has now come back to the country and wants us to trash our differences and make up. but am in another relationship and i love this new girl. However, seeing my ex girl again brought back memories and the love i had for her but scared she will be stubborn again. i dont know who should i continue my life with since my current girl has done nothing to me and also loves me
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