The point of these two questions is this: Start your self-help program with some general material first. Get a better overall perspective on marital relationships, understanding yourself, and understanding the opposite sex ( Understanding Men and Understanding Women will help). Then adapt this information to your situation. You may find that your specific problem disappears on its own as you discover and work on more fundamental issues. If not, you are at least better prepared to work with more targeted "save my marriage" kind of information.
Ever get a whiff of your husband's cologne, or signature tomato sauce and feel warm and fuzzy? Savor that moment and use it, says Spencer. "Scent is the one sense tied most closely to our emotional memories, so if his cologne, or salty after-gym smell still has positive connotations to you, that's good news." Spencer says it's almost as if your nose is telling you that, deep down, your brain still puts him in the 'he's a good one' category. "It's worth looking for whether this feels true in your day to day life as well."
So my situation is a bit complicated. I was in this relationship for 3 years and 7 months. I broke up with him 8 months ago because I just couldn’t do it anymore. We were both hurting each other. After the break up we were always contacting each other. We tried to get back together multiple times, we talked about our new relationships and he seems to love the new girl. I spent a week at his house and I got pregnant. Now I’m four months pregnant and he knows because I told him. It’s now been about 9 months since the break up and I’m trying to get back with him. Lately we talk alot mostly about the baby and me trying to get him back. But he has no trust in me and says he can’t trust me ever again. What do you think?
Are you ready to hear what you least want to deal with? When you try to address an issue and, as noted above, it isn’t the real issue, it can feel like you’ve been hit with a ton of bricks when the real issue does emerge. For example, a husband or a wife engages in lots of activities away from home. You, as the spouse left at home, believe the problem is your mate doesn’t spend enough time with you and is inconsiderate. And that may very well be true. Sometimes we spread ourselves too thin making commitments to others, and our marriages get neglected as a result. But, there could be another reason. Are you ready to hear that why your spouse is gone so much may be because of you? Do you criticize rather than complain? Which do you find easier to say: “You never spend time with me,” or “We don’t spend time together like we used to.” It doesn’t take much to turn a complaint about something into a criticism of someone. In fact, it is one of the easiest things to do. It can happen unconsciously, and easily become habitual. One result is that the person criticized may start distancing him-/herself from the critic. Now this is only one example of what a real, hidden issue might be. Yours may be different. (In my case, both of us contributed to the real problem, though at the time we thought the other was the problem.) Realizing that you may be the cause of your marital problems can be gut-wrenching. Are you ready to face that possibility?
Hi. I dated this guy last year , but unfortunately it didn’t work out between us cause I was unreachable and shy. We pretty much texted the whole time and met a few times. I fell for him and he said he had feelings for me too . But all of a sudden he wanted to be just friends. We had 5 months long an emotional relationship/friendship and 5 months a non-emotional one. I kinda acted out there. He started giving me less atttetion day after day and we started fighting every now and then and I got super jealous when he talked about this other girl he liked. Eventually he called the friendship off. I asked him to block my number and social accounts so we wouldn’t have contact . It’s been 4 months now and I miss him everyday. I’m madly in love with him . Haven’t heard of him for 4 months and I want him back. I can’t get over him being gone from my life. Please help. What should I do ? Why am I feeling this way.
I met a guy whilst on holiday in Egypt. He seemed really lovely and we saw each other every day and eventually went to his flat ad stayed there at night with him so we were spending 24 hours a day together. Hr said he loves me and wants to marry me I didn’t take it too serious but then I found I had called for him. On my last day he gave me his number and Facebook. When I got back to England I looked at his Facebook it was all women tourists which he has commented on their wall my love habibi and sending hearts to them. The two profiles I could see were a year ago these comments were made but I would not have gone there at all of I had of seen this to start with. He also had one for Arab friends. I went to finish it because I am 43 and he is 26 and I can’t be doing with the drama of Facebook. He never added me but said he would delete his facebooks it took him a couple of weeks but he did it. I said messenger as well because of all these women he had contact with. He said he would and he did. We have spoken everyday and night then hr started no messaging me at night his cousin told me he takes women out shopping at night for money so when he wasn’t messaging me he was doing that and he was saying no women. I made a fake profile of a woman who was gorgeous and he added her on messenger before he deleted it.It came to a massive argument he said I was jealous etc and he said he wanted to finish it. I did a terrible thing and emailed his work and told them he was taking women outside the hotel (they aren’t supposed to) and he got fired. When I got a response from the hotel they said this isn’t the first or last time it will happen that’s why he got fired. We still were speaker he was still telling me he loved me and messaging me but he was sad about loosing his job and I feel so guilty I just got sick of the lies (if they are lies) I was to meet his family and then we were planning to get married. I forgave him for all that because I know I can be jealous. I don’t know if it because I wouldn’t act like this when I have a boyfriend. Anyway a week ago he sent me a message saying I will need forgive you for loosing my job no work etc. Although I had sent money equilvilent to his monthly salary that he lost and said I would do it every month till he gets a job because his family rely on HIM for money. We had a n arguement he blocked me off wats app downloaded messenger again. I downloaded viber a day later and said I loved him he said he loved me and missed me and hr wasnt going to delete messenger although he says he wants this to speak to his family he has gone to see his family so I wander is he speaking to the women he had on Facebook? He hadn’t initially told his mom about me sending and email to his work bit has now told her she says I am bad and he isn’t to marry me he said loves me still I said I will leave him till he has got rid off messenger. He said OK I love you and that was three days ago. I read this article and feel better but I do miss him but do wander is it worth all the bother with this silly apps x

My ex and I broke up a few months ago, I cheated on him, he pretended to forgive me and then he moved on to someone else and then I went through all stages of crazy. Begged him to take me back, spoke to the new girl and told her all the reasons he wasn’t right for her and then he decided to break up with me for real. Claimed what he had with her was ephemeral but I ruined his reputation when I spoke to her. I tried the no contact, did it for 9 days, then I panicked and begged him to take me back, of course he said no, there’s someone else. Then after that time, we met up a few times and had sexually related stuffs…no penetrative sex. Then I decided to restart the no contact. Intend to start tomorrow, unfortunately we are classmates. Yesterday I tried to get him jealous by telling him I met a more handsome guy. He told me many reasons why this guy isn’t right for me. Anyways I am scared that if we continue this way, I’m going to be friend zoned so much that we won’t have any chances again. I don’t want to block him over whatsapp because then he will probably block me too and feel I’ve moved on with this other guy. But it’s quite difficult doing no contact when he is constantly trying to communicate and also, I’m from Nigeria. Virginity means alot to guys here. He was my first and unfortunately the new girl he’s with now is also a virgin and very hot

My boyfriend and I were together for a little over 2 years. He broke up with me yesterday, him telling me that he thinks we’ve grown into being “just friends” rather than boyfriend/girlfriend. I asked him what the problem was, and where we went wrong in our relationship, and he basically said that I was the problem. I asked him if it was anything about me that I could fix/change and he simply said “It’s just you. Can you fix yourself?” He was being really mean… We’ve broken up three times before, and he always came crawling back to me, telling me how much he missed me and he realized what he did was a mistake, but there’s just something about this time around that’s making me think differently… That he might not want to come back to me this time… I really do love him so much. Sure we argue, but the next minute we make up and apologize for what we said that was mean to each other. He’s the perfect man for me, and I know he still has feelings for me, as bad as he was talking last night. I read through this guide, and I think I’m going to take all these things into consideration. All the steps made sense. Hopefully these tips will work for my boyfriend and I. I appreciate it. :)
Got a text from my GF immediately returning from a vacation together. She said she didn’t feel as invested in our relationship as I did. We’d been dating 2 and a half months, extremely attracted to each other, the sex was incredible for the both of us, & we spent a good bit of time together. Within the first month, she was talking about settling down & getting a place together. Admittedly, I was a little taken back by it, but handled it appropriately. Obviously it showed she had been rather interested in me and then some. The breakup happened via text as I said before & about not being as invested in me as I was with her. Not even a week later, she’s already texting me & admittedly I respond, but it’s usually silly stuff. I want to be back with her in the worst way but can’t get a good read on what the hell happened or what’s happening? Any recommendations on how to proceed? Thanks.

Dude… be chill. I overreacted at first too but it was more so because there is a child involved. Mine left just a few days ago as well. The first day she texted me back a few times but then she either changed her number or just let her minutes run out (prepaid). But after looking through some of these sites… I took their advice. Start working out…. like wayyy harder than you normally do. Get the testosterone and endorphins flowing. It will take your mind off shit. It’s amazing how much similar your story is to mine. We had just talked about marriage a few weeks ago. I am going to give it about another week or so and see what happens. It’s amazing how much a little time away will make things much more manageable with your emotions. It will be hard to make that first leap to contacting her but just be subtle with it. Don’t go all Rambo gotta come back now guy. Just be polite and reasonable. Don’t have any thing set that should happen. Read her. If she is accepting to it… go on with your bad self. If not… say something chill… like “well… I just want you to know that I had fun while it lasted. Take care and I’ll see you around.” And walk the fuk away.
Today, I’ve got the usual habit to clear his Hotmail inbox and I realized that he’d booked two tickets to a horror late night movie yesterday. And at this point of time, I might have guess that he’s watching it with the girl whom he previously had dinner with. Somehow, I felt that he might have taken a slight interest in this girl colleague and have decided to move on and try out dating the new girl since he’s so firm with his decision on ending off the relationship with me and see no future in us after all that we’ve been through and in such a short period of time?
Don't worry, this is a good thing according to Amy Spencer, author of Meeting Your Half-Orange and a happiness expert focused on how shifting your perspective can change your life. "There are always relationship physics at work — every action has an equal and opposite reaction, right?" she challenges. "So it's important to be able to look at how his behaviors, moods or choices may be impacted by your behaviors or moods or choices. If you are able to cite moments where you unfairly criticized him, behaved poorly, or hurt him first, then you are seeing how your own energy and behavior can be a catalyst to a negative interaction between the two of you." Spencer says that if you shift how you speak or act in certain situations, it could lead to different interactions with your husband. "If you can put yourself in his shoes and see that you've been in the wrong, there's reason to reboot your marriage," says Spencer.

The relationship is going really well in the beginning. You are seeing each other often and enjoy one another. You begin to prioritize him over other things going on in your life, like hobbies or nights out with friends. You tell yourself you are comfortable and don’t need to be “out there.” Everything is just the way you like it until … for some reason, you feel him pulling away.
I ended a realstionship with my ex of 2 years we met up and I said I wanted him back we had sex and he left saying he was confussed and then sent me a text saying he wanted to be on his own. After weeks of texting and he kept saying no. A week later I said I was feeling better and wanted our realtionship to end on a smile and could we meet for lunch he said yes one Wednesday. I said I would clear my diary for next week, he hasn’t replied to 100 % confirm so 50:50 we will meet. I haven’t sent a text to ask. I do still love him and hate feeling rejected,not sure how to handle the situation
Spending too much time with your girlfriend and not spending time with your friends and family is also one of the sign for clinginess that kills the attraction. Diamonds are rare that is why people pay thousands of dollars to buy them. Once people start getting diamonds from the every side of their home they will stop paying huge money for diamonds.

I am going to warn you now.  You will be possessed by this intense desire to contact him.  If only you could talk to him, you think, you would just explain everything and all would be forgotten.  Well, it seldom works that way.  Chances are your efforts will be ignored which will just make you feel worse.  Or you will successfully reach your ex boyfriend and he and you will end up having a heated or disappointing conversation, leaving you feeling bad and rejected yet again.  It’s almost always a no win situation because neither one of you are well equipped right now to deal with your emotional states.  So just cool your heels and keep reading!


Okay so me & my ex boyfriend broke up like a couple months ago. Me and him have been dating for over a year. Ever since we got into high school he changed. He’s like every other guy now. During our relationship, he would cry when I left or if I took the bracelet he gave me off. I just really want him back, I still do love him. I honestly need to know what to do. Help me please


We went back to our place and he told me he wanted to break up with me for sure. I tried to reason with him again, to give me more time But he was sure, he had felt bad about changing his mind before apparently; after a couple hours of heated conversation, of me trying to convince him, he even told me he didn’t love me anymore ( which I’m not sure about, was he saying that so that i let go?). I gave in and we took my flight ticket back home. We spent the day after together, it was awesome and incredibly sad. I didn’t want to believe I was letting go of a life I wanted so much. He was so sad too, it felt like he was hurting a lot too.
So, find out what messed up your relationship and work on it. Were you too cranky, moody, jealous, demanding, insane, nagging-all-day, not giving him his space and freedom, disrespectful, got fat, made out with another guy, or you just sucked in bed? Whichever it was – fix it. He needs to see that, after a month or so of breaking up, you are progressing; suddenly you became a different person. But do it for you, not for him. Once he sees how much different you became he'll wish you never broke up in the first place, he'll want to give the whole thing another chance too.
Yes, I felt free in a way but totally sad ’cause I did wanna hang or talk or something, but he’s been a jerk for ignoring so long. I need to respect myself, but I want him back too. I haven’t blocked him from WhatsApp or Facebook, don’t plan to really, and I haven’t talked to him, but I really miss him. Should I just stand my ground and not reach out to him? I feel like this is the right thing to do and perhaps try to move on, but I love him. Thank you so much for your help and time, it means the world to me, well, to all of us.
btw I got stuck in this funny situation I don’t know if it’s possible but can you or your staff delete my comment stating my story ( on august 19, 2018) ? A friend of mine is suggesting this site for me and I’m too afraid that she may read my comment here she will instantly know it’s me .. Im so totally busted if that happens hahahaha pretty please help mee all of my NC plan will go to nothing if this happen cause she’s pretty close to my ex and I can’t really trust her mouth LOL..
let me ask something.this is the second time that me and my ex boyfriend breaks up or he broke up with me.but this is the worst one.i felt he moved on already because he defriended me included my friends who were his friends on facebook. i knew,he loves me so much but we couldn’t just get a right time to think better and then we ended up arguements.i loved him too.i learnd i have mistakes.tell me please,is there any possibilities to get back together and reconciled?how i read your tips..but in our situations like these.im sure he’s very mad at me and giving up on me.he never replies my emails and text.i wanna try to reconciled with him but how? i know i cannot make a move ist .i want him to see im changed .i want him realized he made a huge mistakes.please email me for some advices.thank you
Good question! There really are so many angles to cover in this day and age. I guess technically opening a snapchat doesn’t count as making “contact,” but I also just don’t think it’s a good idea. I also recognize how hard it is to fight the temptation and not open it. So my advice would be to send him a quick message if he sends you snapchats being like, “I really need some time for myself right now and would appreciate it if you wouldn’t contact me,” and then don’t respond further if he does keep reaching out. And if you can be really strong, then ignore the snapchats. Hope this helps!
Use body language to show you're listening. Don’t doodle, look at your watch, or pick at your nails. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message, and rephrase if you need to. For instance, say, "What I hear you saying is that you feel as though you have more chores at home, even though we're both working." If you're right, the other can confirm. If what the other person really meant was, "Hey, you're a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you," he or she can say so, but in a nicer way.
I have been dating this guy he lives abit far from me I went to see him he lies to me he were have gf already but never had sex with her when we first met we was so attractive to each other then up having sex was like we were falling we almost sleep together for 11 time but he borak up with his gf but now his pull away from me too as he knows that I really liked him I’m so confuse don’t no what to do he said he has to go his different ways I’m So lost cos I fall in love him and I don’t no about him it’s seem like he hasn’t get over his ex
Last friday we had our last fight, and he broke up with me the morning after. He said that it was too much for him, that he was not cut out for this. And he added that he doesnt feel the same way as he used to, he is exhausted, he never has time to think about himself cause our communication problems and my anxiety are always in his head. He said he still loves me but that its not the same, its broken. And that he wont change his mind, even though a part of him wishes that we could work again in the future. We broke up over the phone but he invited me to his place after, and of course I came to try and reason with him. We had sex, and it was hard. But we didnt fight, and he insisted on being friends.
How can you prevent this? Really, change. Make him change too. When you become better, you have the right to expect him to get better too. Build a relationship where you grow and improve together as individuals and partners, not enemy's that slow each other's progress down. He is not yours and never will be, not even when you both have a ring on your finger, so don't view him as a thing you've got a right over, like owning a car or your shoes.
Avoiding contact is not just a passive-aggressive way to make your ex miss you. It gives you time to do the things you need to do to prepare yourself for a new relationship (whether it's with your ex or someone new!). Take time during this month to get to know yourself as an individual and to work on areas that you may have let slip during your relationship with your ex. If you contributed to the breakup, this is the time to pinpoint your relationship weaknesses and do the hard work to improve as a human being.
My boyfriend and I broke up 4 days ago.i left him bc he wasnt appreciating me enough and then the next day i decided i wanted to be back together and just try and work through things as a couple.he has been ignoring all of my phone and won’t speak to me at all.we work together so things are ten times harder I just want him back we have been through so much and I just can’t picture my life without him. he has told me this is it but we have done this so many times its almost a weekly thing. This time i went way to far though after being rejected by him the last time I lied to him by telling him he was a terrible boyfriend and even worse in bed(complete lied ,he rocked my world) I just wanted to hit below the belt and make him feel how I was feeling.I also lied and told him i had been cheating on him this whole time. Sounds crazy i know I just lost it. I really hopes this works bc i don’t want to loose the love of my life,my bestfriend,my soulmate all bc I lost it .any words of advice?
my boyfriend and i broke up like 5 days ago . i still cant accept it. the reason he broke up with me is because he thought i was rushing things . we were only going out for 4 weeks. if i wanted to hold his hand he would consider that rushing ? i honestly think that is he thought i was “rushing” he could have had communtication with me and told me instead of breaking up . aside from that whole experiance , i felt like i didnt know him as well . we went from barly talking to going out in less than a week. we both liked eachother very much though. what im going to do is change myself. not only to get him back , but for all the other assh*les who dumped me. i wanna be that girl that walks passed them and their like dayuummm we should get back together . at the end of it all i just want him to know how lonley hes gunna feel without me by his side. i honestly thought he was gunna be my longest relationship (my longest relationship has been only a month). and also yesterday , i poured my heart out to him and wrote him a hugeeeeeee text . his response was “aww thanks thats sweet (: ” i dont think he actually took in all the emotion and feelings and time it took me to write all that. one thing i hate now is that i try to be mad at him and i cant. i have to see his face eveeeryday and it would hurt me alot. im gunna have to live with this . #girlsgetf*ckedovereasy
im doing the same thing you’ll do now your not alone i know it hurts but that what u should do, let him lose you and thinks hes a failure dont allow him to think he can play with your feelings, your not his toy if he cant decide what he wants then leave him to grom up and make decisions in life, hes immature and you did the right thing your so smart of going no contact and standing on what you want bravo, now do not let him take advantage and decide what he wants do what you want, you want him as a bf he didnt respect that he wants friends you dont so bye to him and lifes always comes around believe me one day he’ll come begging to have you back.
He said that he didn’t think that we had enoughin common, which isn’t true because we would do so many old and new things together. When we broke up he said that he felt like we stopped being friends but then later saud the he was still my friend because we were really good friends. He also still wanted to hug and touch me and told me that he still wanted to do those things. None ofthis made any sense to me.
So it’s been about 4 months since me and my x broke up. We broke up because she got jealous about other women who were giving me attention, and i lied about one of these girls at a party and i just got too comfortable and didn’t show interest. Well then after we broke up i made out with one of the girls and i told her about it and it devestated her. I told her the kiss meant nothing and I was thinking about her when it happened. We’ve hung out like 7 times since the break up and things got pretty affectionate 4 out of the 7 times. It’s just been a rough past summer for me in general with my grandpa passing away and adjusting to all this change. I do love the girl and I’m attempting to get her back by going to her school which is an hour away and serenading her wih a guitar right on campus haha. We’ve broken up before about 2 years ago and I did the same thing just outside of her house. What do you think of this? She has me blocked on facebook and snapchat, yet we still keep in touch through text and phone calls and shes friends with my mom on facebook still haha. And I still remain very close with her family
Because 3 or more, “yeses” at this point make it abundantly clear to me that here we have a Category A (lost attraction) situation. That means this article has done its job, and you’re now ready to move on to the next stage, which is to take the quiz. It only takes a couple minutes, and once your quiz results come through, I will then have customized advice waiting for you on the next page. Please go take the quiz now.
Be honest with each other. Being honest is a kind of vulnerability, and by being honest with your partner, you show that you trust him or her. Try opening up about what you're thinking and feeling. When you're vulnerable, you're inviting your partner in and asking him or her to be equally as honest. However, it's important to continue using "I" statements to tell how you feel instead of blaming the other person.[11]
My suggestion, from a male perspective, having sex immediately once you meet up again may be a wrong choice. Even if you've been together for a long time before, it's good to make everything seem new, and different. If he messed up, and that's the reason you broke up, you shouldn't make it that easy for him to get back together. Throw in some temptation.
I have been in a releshp wth my ex grlfrend for 4yrs she was my school sweethert we came from far she loved meh soo much we did everythng toghet na untll she had a crush on some guybt she found out the guy is in arelshp wth anther person she came back to meh cryng i accpted her back bt then after a mnth se change start sayng we break up bt then she apologies back for her word iknw ehe was up2 smthng i broke up wth her she didnt even say why or sory she said alryt naw its been 3weeksi tryed callng her bt she nat intrested shes is sayng she want to be single an forcus… so do you think she is a relshp wth smeone else i need advice shoild i just move on?
So this girl broke up with me last week and during the weekend I was really drunk, and I was talking to someone about how I felt and I said some pretty messed up things that are just terrible, and I don’t remember who the person was but the person that I told everything too they told her and I up finding out Tuesday or Monday and she was just really upset she told my friend everything and the things I said were really really messed up they were really wrong and I didn’t think about what I said I just said things because I was so drunk and now I just want her back. But now I just gotta face the consequences and I can’t do it myself I just need someones help, but anything contact me at 862-812-9341. I also heard she made her mind up already, it’s only been a week so I don’t think so, but she did block me on everything someone just help me, she meant the world to me.
Spending too much time with your girlfriend and not spending time with your friends and family is also one of the sign for clinginess that kills the attraction. Diamonds are rare that is why people pay thousands of dollars to buy them. Once people start getting diamonds from the every side of their home they will stop paying huge money for diamonds.
so Ive been with my boyfriend for almost a year, just a week before the anniversary he ended it. ive been trying to stop crying but i simply cant. specially the fact that many thing remind me of the good memories i had with him. he was the first real bf i had, and i was his first relationship. so having mistakes and some arguments were normal i think, so i neglected them. the good thing about him was that even after the times it was my mistake and he was hurt, we spent the night crying and apologizing and saying i was sorry, and the day after that he was totally normal. the longest time that we didnt talk was like 24 hours coz he had no reception in the mountains. the real question for me is that the usual relationship tips never worked on him. playing hard to get, staying out of touch or trying to make him jealous would just make him say: ” stop that… i know what you’re doing!” even in the beginning of or dating and after we knew each other well, i knew he was somehow different. you know he was like 50 shades, not the crazy kinky side of him of course but the part where he took care of me and protected me. despite his age, hes been working for long and its been almost two years that he provides for his family. he pays for the mortgage, buy food and all that. and he also goes to college in another city. he does not party like boys his age do and all the other boyish stuff. from the start, we both kinda knew that we cant last forever. i live in a country that family matters the most and in that part we were the opposite. but we are too young ( 22 ) for getting married or something like that, and i know that you might say im too young for being hopeless of finding someone else. the fact is, arranged marriages kinda rule in my family ( i live in middle east if u need to know) and its not just underestimating myself but im short ( 5 feet only ) my hair wont grow longer than my shoulder, my noes is too big in my face, and believe me, i have consulted with different doctors about my problems, but they need solutions or surgeries that my dad wont let me do. even my mom says im not beautiful. my sister mocks my face and body. let alone people in college and so on. im in a family that love and support does not exist, and coz im not that fun and outgoing because of my economic situation, i cant really go out with my girlfriend much. so im asking you this, coz Ive been asking myself: whats the harm? now that im alone i can understand how much the breaking up hurts, and i know that if it went on longer, it would have been even worse. but considering all those things i told you, isnt he the best for me right now? and considering the fact that he always acts different, and also kinda mannish despite of his age, how can i get him back? its our anniversary in a few days, and his birthday in 3 weeks. would that be okay if i contact him in those days?
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