I broke up with my boyfriend about three weeks ago. He initiated it saying that things wasn’t the same, that he loved me but he felt like we were not happy together as we were before. We were together for 2 and a half years mostly in a long distance relationship but about three months ago I moved to his country to be closer and managed to be only a four hour drive away sop that we could see each other on weekends. It came as a huge surprise to me and I was (still am) a wreck about it… It is even harder now that I am in a big city on my own so it is hard to think about anything else. After that we texted for about a week because he wants to stay friend but it was very hard for me because it gave me the illusion that it was not really over and even though I tried to keep it light we couldn’t help but mention the breakup and how I was sad etc. After one last text where he said that for him his decision was made and he wasn’t going to change his mind, I was really hurt and asked him that we stop contacting each other for a while so that I can get better. The thing is that like many of you I suppose, I really want him back and I cannot help but think that this is the only thing in the world that I really want because I do love him. I know he is young (22) and that he probably feels like he wants to get more experience with other people but I cannot help but feel that we are right for each other… I haven’t harassed him or stalked him so I got that going for me… Now I am trying my best to not contact him for a while and work on myself to look better and feel better and hopefully see him again. I wanted to ask anyone for advice on this No Contact Rule, do you think it is efficient? Is there a chance we can be together again? Also since we live within a four hour drive distance it will be difficult for me to re-connect with him… I mean if he comes see me or I go see him we will have to sleep at each others places… Which is not that great to try to give it some space at first… Any advice for a broken heart is welcome! :)

Wow I can’t believe how much I have written. I just checked and this is getting close to 10,000 words. Ok, we are very close to the end here. This section is all about taking a big risk. More specifically, setting up a date with your ex boyfriend for the first time since your break up. All the experts have a different view of how this should be done. The truth of the matter is that if you played pretty close to the game plan I laid out for you, your ex boyfriend will probably have suggested to meet up IN PERSON by now. However, if he didn’t don’t worry, I have a plan for you!
I’m confused… I was with my ex for 3 years n 6mthns n he cheated on me but when he was with her and he went to work he would call me n tell me he miss me n love me n want to b back with me. He’ll say things like I choose the wrng girl she’s controlling. Well 5 months go by without talkin n we was back together having sex , going out, having with each others family, but she jus kept texting him n calling him then she made up a lie saying she was pregnant by him n she really wasn’t but I feel like he still lover her because he reply back to her texts n calls her when I’m not around. Yesterday we out and he dropped me off at home and supposedly went home or to his dad’s but I called his house his roommate sayd he didn’t come home last night n I called his dad house n they said he didn’t come over, so I started to get worried n I called his cell phone n it keeps going to voicemail, but my mind is telling me he’s with her… I still love him but I’m tired of the heart ache n him lying to me every time he opens his mouth, we was talkin bout getting married next year. I need Advice pls help!!

My boyfriend just broke up with me 3 days ago and weve been together for 2 years and 8 months. We had been madly in love with each other and he asked me to marry him twice even tho we couldn’t actually get married because we were only 16 at the time but he asked me all the time well we got in a fight and I told him I couldn’t handle how he was treating me so I told him we needed to break up, he was very heart broken and cried and begged me to take him back and I did within 5 hours. But then about 4 months later he broke up with me he said he wasn’t the same since I broke up with him and that he was done. well while we were broken up for about a week he had sex with another girl, just a rebound hook up and he hates talking about it. but He had lied to me about it when we got back together and said they had kissed and he left and I didn’t care because I had my love back, but then 7 months later we were using his phone to get on facebook and he accidently sent a message to a girl we were both talking for different reasons and he said oh hey I accidently sent molly a message on your facebook I thought I was on mine. well I didn’t really think much of it but then I was wondering what could he be talking to her about? well I got on his facebook and he was talking to molly about her best friend he had the rebound hook up with and I freaked out and left and he called me franticly wanting to know where I went and I asked him about him having sex with another girl and that he had told me they only kissed and he came clean and said he did and he told me he understood if I never talked to him again but I love him more than life so I said no were just gonna have to work through it and your going to have to be patient with me because you’ve lost almost all my trust. well we did have our fights but we always worked through them and figured out what was wrong but I did use him lying to me as a weapon when we got in fights and he started to get very angry that I was still bringing it up. well we talked and before he had broken up with me the first time he said that if we broke up again he would never get back together with me because he didn’t want to string things out but we did get back together he text me saying he still loved me and wanted me back so we got back together. Then he had me move into his parents house with him and things were normal but he got another job and worked more hours so it added some stress and I was getting stressed out about my own job and we did take it out on each other. but we had our good days and bad ones we would go on date nights and laugh and have fun and I asked him if we break up were never getting back together are we? and he just wrapped me in a hug and said it doesn’t matter how many times we break up we will always get back together because I love you way too much to let you go forever. well I found out he had been messaging other girls about our relationship issues which really bothered me because I thought we could talk about anything and sharing any of our concerns with each other he told me all the time that I was his best friend and I would joke around and say yeah well your not mine but then I would tell him later that he is my best friend and I love him. I just wanted to be able to talk about anything and not hide things. but then on my graduation night three days ago I had to work at 5 am and then do my grad stuff and he had to work at noon so we weren’t going to really see each other except after my graduation so when we got home after dinner he told me he didn’t have to be at work for a half hour and I thought oh cool we can hangout and relax since we haven’t seen each other all day well he started to rush off to work and I got upset and I said so your choosing work over me on my grad night? and he got mad and left when he came home from work he went in the bathroom and left his phone on the night stand I did think I was going to find anything on his phone he had only talked to his mom and a co worker but I was bored so looked through what he was saying to his mom and pretty much he felt like we needed to break up but he felt bad about it and didn’t know what to do and his mom just didn’t want him to feel stuck but he also was talking about how I got upset at him going to work but twisted it so it was completely different then why I was mad. well when he came back I just quoted his text to his mom and asked so you don’t want to be together anymore and he got upset and withdrew from me but after we talked for awhile we weren’t as mad at each other and my friend asked if she needed to pick me up because I told her what was going on and I told my boyfriend that she would come get me but then he changed and was telling me I didn’t have to leave and I could stay there with him but I just calmly said no its okay Ill leave and while I was waiting for my friend it actually looked like he was about to cry before I left. well the next morning I text him asking where we were at relationship wise and the night before he said he didn’t know what he wanted to do yet that I should keep my key to the house because he didn’t know what was going to happen yet, well when I text him he told me he just couldn’t get back together and that it was over and he was done but in a way that didn’t sound like him. and I begged him not to do that but I just went to the house and moved my stuff out while he was gone and I asked him what things he wanted me to take and he didn’t really care if it was something I got him he would say well ill keep it but if you want it you can take it. then yesterday I text him wondering if he could bring my cd and a couple other things I left at his house to my house and if we could talk and he was very short and said he didn’t know what we would talk about when the other night he said we could talk whenever I needed to and that he was always here for me and that he still cares about me and that you don’t be with someone and spend almost 3 years of your life with someone and not still care for them but when he replied with being angry and mean I just stop texting him because hes acting really weird and idk if its because hes hurt to and confused and doesn’t know what to do because he told me hes not happy with where hes at (he graduated last year and isn’t in school just works) and that hes going no where in life and that I deserve better and hes just an assh*le to me and not doing anything with his life and that hes super stressed out. so I don’t know what to do I haven’t text him today and all my friends say to just give him space and even his sister said let him be he will start missing you after a few days and hell want you back which I hope is true because I want to start over with a clean slate like this articles says and just try again but different approach I know what Ive been doing wrong and I love him so much and I know he use to love me too and when were together we are super happy when its just us but his friend who told me he was jealous of mine and my boyfriends relationship because his gf is off in the navy now he wouldn’t let us have time alone just constant on top of us even my boyfriends parents would ask me about it and say wow you guys don’t get alone time anymore and it made me stressed out because he is just using my boyfriends house as a place to drink and smoke and he gets jealous when my boyfriend isn’t giving him all his attention and I feel like that also had stressed him out too which sucks because Ive been blinded by my own problems and stress I didn’t realize he was hurting too. so im talking to his mom tomorrow to find out if I even still have a chance and whats actually going on with my boyfriend =/ I just hope that he cares about me enough to still want to try but idk I need advice on what I need to do and what I should do!
If you want your relationship to get back on track, then you need to be humble and accepting what happened. You can’t get your ex boyfriend back by pointing fingers at him. You have to be humble throughout the whole discussion as this is the best approach to tackle this situation, and it will make your ex comfortable with you which will mend broken hearts.
You put your self-worth, your happiness, your dreams and your entire life on the back burner just so you could be with your ex. Sometimes, people do it just to hold on to the possibility of being with their ex in the future. It’s a direct consequence of begging and pleading. It makes your ex think “Well, if you are that desperate to be with me, then you must accept everything that I want.”

Ever get a whiff of your husband's cologne, or signature tomato sauce and feel warm and fuzzy? Savor that moment and use it, says Spencer. "Scent is the one sense tied most closely to our emotional memories, so if his cologne, or salty after-gym smell still has positive connotations to you, that's good news." Spencer says it's almost as if your nose is telling you that, deep down, your brain still puts him in the 'he's a good one' category. "It's worth looking for whether this feels true in your day to day life as well."


Your article gave me hope. There is no question on any level but that I am the best sex he’s ever had and on top of that he says no one has ever treated him like I have. Yet he has walked away. I am devastated. But he has had some family and work issues this year and all I did was whine I was selfish. So now I have let him go. Please tell me the mindvlowing genuine sex snd the fact that I treated him nice will bring him back (it always has before but he seems indifferent to me..being very distant) . He has come back after some pretty bad fhts in the beginning (we got over that years ago) just want to give him his space. The problem is he has a shallowness to him so if he hooks up with someone hot he will actually feel good because he looks good with her not because he feels good like he feels with me. Its sad to watch. His self esteem is bad. I wanted him to feel loved and he did..why is it never enough?
My boyfriend of seven months broke up with me two days ago. We were really good together, we had a great complicity, friendship, we were always there for each other and like best friends. What went wrong is that I have important anxiety issues and i’ve let them get the best of me and take over our relationship. I have a lot of fears, of abandonment and such. We were constantly fighting because of this, and I believe he did his best to be patient and there for me. My anxieties were mostly caused by the fact that it took him a long time to be ready for a relationship in the beggining, plus he wasnt totally over his ex. He eventually got there but I never completely calmed down about this, until it was already too late.
Omg I’ve been doing everything the wrong way. I moved out of m bf’s after we got in big argument cause I got home from work late. When I was actually at my therapist office asking for advice how to communicate better with my ex. Long story short, he got mad cause I deleted text messages that day. Ever since moving out he has “trust issue” so it’s been up and down. This is the longest we’ve gone without communicating or hanging out. I feel like he feels he has me so secure. I also have the messages he got so mad that i deleted i tried to show them to him but he won’t see them, I think he knows he over reacted and doesn’t want to see he was wrong. Sometimes i feel like just sending him the messages.. should i?
If you want to save your failing relationship then open these three things: your eyes, your ears, and your heart.  Active listening involves all three. Eyes have to do with giving your mate your full attention. Look them in the eyes in a conversation. Listen without interrupting. Avoid using terms like, “Yes, but…”  Listening with your heart is showing empathy to your partner.  It communicates that you care.
Getting dumped sucks and when your boyfriend decides he doesn’t want you anymore it just tears you apart from the inside out. I feel for you but don’t worry because we are going to take a look at your breakup and figure out the best way to approach things. Again, I want to reiterate this point- don’t assume that the reason your ex boyfriend gave you for why he chose to break up is really why he decided to let you go. This may sound a bit mean, but you are going to have to be completely honest with yourself and possibly look at things that may make you uncomfortable.

Since 1994 Marriage Dynamics Institute has been helping couples build stronger and happier marriages. Over 100,000 people have experienced our classes and workshops with proven, positive results. Marriage Dynamics Institute is committed to remaining a primary force in reducing the national divorce rate. Our area of expertise is with the unique dynamics that exist in a marriage between a man and a woman and our classes, trainings, and workshops are designed to help these engaged and married couples. We use the most up to date research available in combination with our extensive experience with couples to design classes and workshops that provide lasting solutions to real marital problems. We know how to make a real difference!
The fact that you feel broken and dead inside without him isn’t going to make him say, “Well, in that case, we need to get back together immediately!” There is nothing sexy about that. All you will do is make him feel guilty, or you’ll make him go cold and withdraw from you because men don’t like feeling like the bad guy and he might completely emotionally detach himself from the situation.
Don’t get sucked into a prolonged discussion from this point. Don’t try to work anything out. Simply wish her well, give her a hug and leave the conversation and the room. She may follow you and attempt to keep the conversation going. She may start asking you questions or demanding answers. Don’t give in to her requests. You’re not obligated to give her any answers anymore – she ended the relationship. You have changed the rules of the game and the chips haven’t even had the chance to hit the floor.
Here’s my story, I would love to hear your insight and advice. I was with my bf , he’s 23, I’m 19, for a few months and I fell in love for the first time. After all the guys I’ve dated I’ve never ever felt this way with someone and the feelings were mutual, he told me loved me, wanted to marry me and have a family with me one day, he too said he has never felt this way before with anyone . It was genuine and loving and I saw a future with this guy which I’ve never seen with anyone and he the same. We spent a lot of time together, got to know each other, but he was insecure at times, worried about other guys which he didn’t have to do. At moments he pulled away, which I know guys do sometime, but the problem for me was they he would blow me off for his friends when we had plans, he just wouldn’t think and was in the moment. I told him on several occasions, it wasn’t cool, we’re together and you just can’t ditch me, he’d apologize, say he was wrong, etc. tbh, I felt like he was testing me, to see how much I’d put up with, but after speaking with him several times, he did it again. So after a week of him trying to see me, ( I put him off) I broke up with him, on the phone, I know I shouldn’t have done it that way, it was impulsive and stupid, but I was fed up. I felt like he was taking me for granted and I wasn’t going to put up with it. I have it together, I’m going to school full time, working full time, im smart, fun, good looking & athletic, I’m not trying to be arrogant and sound full of myself, it’s not my intent, but I’m secure and confident and I know my worth. In hind sight, I should’ve talked to him in person, I was wrong to do it that way. I’m not going to lie, it’s been hard, I do care about him and miss him but we had no contact for 4 weeks, until I saw him at work one day, I was surprised to see him as we wouldn’t normally run into each other. He came right up to me and hugged me, he was so warm affectionate, I couldn’t believe it, he wouldn’t leave my side, hugged me from behind, any excuse to touch me or talk to me. We did talk for a bit, he apologized again to me for treating me the way he did, and was def remorseful. I apologized too for breaking up with him the way I did, and said I was wrong to do that to you. And that I didn’t break up because I didn’t love him or have feelings for him but because I felt he didn’t respect my time or value me. He also asked me if I was dating and was bold enough to asked if I hooked up with anyone,(which I have not) he was annoyed thinking about it. I told him I did not, and that I cared about him. I prob made a mistake saying that, even if it was true, it gave him peace of mind I def don’t have. I am asked out and dating but didn’t tell him, another mistake . He said he wanted to get together and talk more, but couldn’t after work because he had a meeting.that evening. So we went our separate ways. I texted him a few days later saying it was good to see him and let’s get together soon, we texted back and forth a bit, but never went anywhere . So that’s a little over 2 weeks ago, and I have not texted him, not looked at social media, nothing, fell off the earth. I felt he was avoiding me or not sure, I just don’t know. I felt he still cares about me based on when I saw him, but he’s not tried to see me. I heard he’s dating someone too. As much as it hurts and I still care about him, I care about myself more and won’t put up with not being treated right. In the mean time, I’m living my life, focusing on myself, school, work, friends & family. I’m also continuing to date. I would love your help and opinion on what to do, I would love to work things out but we are at a stand still. Thank you 🙂

During those penultimate moments, it is reasonable to think twice about what is happening. I often recommend couples therapy even when one or both have made up their minds to leave. I do not think the goal of such treatment should be to encourage the couple, no matter what the cost, to stay together. What needs to be determined is what is best for the two people involved. One person may not want to separate, but if the other is determined to leave, the couple will split apart. Even then, the man or woman who is left behind will have profited from those meetings. If the inevitability of that break-up is made obvious, it is easier to let go. Also, it is worth trying to figure out what went wrong. It may be necessary to rethink the past in order to move on to the future. And, sometimes, it does happen, of course, that the difficulties a couple is having are solvable; and it becomes desirable to reconcile.
This will immediately trigger the same reactions in your ex-girlfriend that accepting the breakup from the beginning would have had. She’ll want to know exactly what triggered your change of heart and whether or not you’re getting on with your life. Your ex is counting on the chase, even if she’s not ready to restart a relationship with you. You’re reversing roles and making her want to chase you instead.
I love this girl and my dad made me break up with her I didn’t want it but I had to ,so when I did break up with her, I didn’t talk to her for about a month because I would never hurt a girl so what I thought was not to talked to her for a monthbut I was wrong I made things worse its been a year now I did that 2 weeks things still nothing she’s in love with another boy but I still think she loves me because she used to be way in love with me but it is what it is I guess.
I am going to warn you now.  You will be possessed by this intense desire to contact him.  If only you could talk to him, you think, you would just explain everything and all would be forgotten.  Well, it seldom works that way.  Chances are your efforts will be ignored which will just make you feel worse.  Or you will successfully reach your ex boyfriend and he and you will end up having a heated or disappointing conversation, leaving you feeling bad and rejected yet again.  It’s almost always a no win situation because neither one of you are well equipped right now to deal with your emotional states.  So just cool your heels and keep reading!
My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday night I couldn’t believe it I was really hurt and I have been texting him a bunch.I’m pretty sure I just ruined any chance of getting back together.he said he likes me a little still but says he’s not upset about breaking up with me.its so confusing and I hope I didn’t ruin the chance to get back together because I love him a lot.I’m really upset.
Hi, I met the guy through online dating. After a months we’re meet up and start dating. He was talking about the future and need to get a baby with me and he said “I do love with you”. We have sex when 4th date after sex he’s talk about marright but I know he’s didn’t mean and serious about that We are continune date and get close to each other. He’s text me everyday, seem to care me and love to be with me. I’m fall in love with him. But two months later I feel something change and I’m opened mind to talk with him that I want to be in relationships (I know it huge mistake). After that I feel he’s try to step back, less text, careless and not interesting to me meet. I feel he’s make me last priority. I asked him about love and relationships, he said he do love me but we just know each other for 2 months why I love him so much! Now I’m move to other country before I leave I asked him don’t give up on us and made long distance work it out. But seem like no meaning for him. He’s answer few text and give me a call just twice since I leave. I’m insecure if I follow no contact rules I will lose him forever. Please advice me I few heartbroken right now.
That time you did tequila shots and went skinny dipping. The amazing sangria you shared in Spain on your honeymoon. The first time your hands touched reaching for popcorn in the movie theater. Memories that make you smile and remember the good times – these are things worth holding onto, according to Russo. "Great memories are the glue that can hold a relationship together," she says. "When things are tough, people tend to look back on all of the good times with their partner and feel hopeful that they can get back to that happy place again." Russo says it's key to zone in on how loved you felt in the past. "Get inspired to work hard on the relationship to bring all of those good feelings back and make new memories."
I’m in the same exact boat as you. My ex and I were together almost 4 months, we were amazing together till he started working again. Then we were fighting all the time. He accused me of cheating when I would’ve never have even thought to do that. I love him with all my heart. We’ve been broke up 2 weeks and more drama happened and now I don’t even know if I’ll ever have him back. Because before all the drama happened on Saturday he told his friend he was going to take me back in a week or two, he just needed more time. I love him with all my heart. I had to start the NC over again, so I’m only on day 7. Did any of this work for you? I’m scared and hurt, can’t help but have hope though. Only thing making me feel partially okay

Honestly, it is hard to think of any disadvantages when using text messages. Texting is the communication highway for today’s couples. You and your boyfriend probably texted each other all the time and rarely shared them with anyone. Basically texting is super intimate. You can share cute pictures and do all sorts of really fun things. Not to mention it is impossible to raise your voice over a text message. However, I would say the biggest advantage to text messaging would be the fact that you can take your time and think everything through. This is something that calling on the phone won’t allow you.

For a long time you felt pain from your relationship. Most likely, it hurt quite a lot when she left. The problem lies in the fact that you didn’t have the knowledge to help you steer your relationship in the right direction and be happy in it. Many men know the art of meeting and courting women, so it is easy to fall in love with them. But with time, they lose something very important and their girlfriends get disappointed, eventually losing interest and leaving. Using years of experience, research and observations, I was able to work out a step-by-step system that can help you rekindle the passion and get the relationship with your girlfriend to the same happy place it was before. In this course, I lay out many situations and clearly explain how to act in each one of them. If you follow every advice I give you, your girlfriend won’t want to stay away from you.
I seek your blessing in this junction of my life. All my love life was a faliure and end up broken for years..Since my last husband dissapered and took everything I owned. My life just fell & I was broken and mentally trauma too. But after 7+ years I met someone who liked me crazily and needed me more than ever… As very matured adults we started getting to know each other over past couple of months.. It was with his interest that I too started liking him and we are compatible in many ways and our hobbies to coencodice.. Suddnly he is drifting away from me. I started feeling the need and the urge he had to communicate is dying down. And his visits to my plc too dropped. Now it has come to a standstill. Dear lord my god & the Holy Spirit I seek you divine inter vision as this situation to change. Last I spoke to him was more than a week ago. And he mentioned that we should continue our special bond and seren relationship that we have and how I hv changed his thinking to doing things differently & much more positively.
If you’re noticing that your ex is losing interest in you or talking with you, getting on with their own life, moving on and moving past your former relationship, avoiding your calls, are always busy instead of wanting to talk or never seem to be around when you’re calling, you may be a little uncomfortable. These signs don’t necessarily mean that her decision to leave you is set in stone. There are some techniques that go outside the box that can work in even the most hopeless of circumstances. You just need to change the way she sees you and get her mindset to change. It’s not as hard as it sounds.
I still obsess (2 months) about the relationship. I miss being a part of a family, I miss having dinner with him, the sex was mindblowing, sleeping next to him, the lazy weekends and the busy doing things together weekends, waiting for him to come home from work, I miss “our” home, his daughters, his family, Sunday afternoon cookouts at his moms…. I still have the most horrible days when I believe it was all my fault and I was just not good enough and will never be good enough for anyone. I let him do that to me. And yes, I sometimes want that back, him back… Yet, somehow I know that, eventually I will be ok, better than ever. Wish it would get here faster!
My boyfriend of seven months broke up with me two days ago. We were really good together, we had a great complicity, friendship, we were always there for each other and like best friends. What went wrong is that I have important anxiety issues and i’ve let them get the best of me and take over our relationship. I have a lot of fears, of abandonment and such. We were constantly fighting because of this, and I believe he did his best to be patient and there for me. My anxieties were mostly caused by the fact that it took him a long time to be ready for a relationship in the beggining, plus he wasnt totally over his ex. He eventually got there but I never completely calmed down about this, until it was already too late.
Let her see you having a great time. Once you've given her some space and have worked on self-improvement, she'll be much closer to wanting you. But now you have to put all the pieces together and let her see what an amazing guy you are and how much fun it is to be around you. Be strategic. Without looking like a stalker, make sure you're hanging out in some of the same places so she can see what a blast it is to be around you.
Recover emotionally. You don't stand a chance of getting your ex back if you're not emotionally calm and controlled.[1] Women dislike needy, clingy, desperate men - so you need to pull your own life together before attempting to draw her back into it. Like it or not, showing her that you can deal with life on your own will attract her back to you. That's because girls like men who are self-sufficient and independent. So go out to the gym, visit the movies with friends, or start an adventure. If you're having a great time, she'll want to be there with you.
My wife and I went to a dinner party at a neighbor’s house one weekend. It was a pleasant, but unremarkable affair, full of psychiatrists, as are most of the affairs I attend. Four days later, I walked our dog past their house. There were some newspapers on their steps. I rang the bell, and then looked in their front window. The house was empty. The furniture was gone. They were gone. It turned out they were getting a divorce. It came as a surprise to all those psychiatrists who had attended their party.  More commonly the ending of a long-term relationship is drawn out over months and sometimes years, even when both attempt to fix whatever has gone wrong.
I have a problem likes it… My boyfriend and I were together for 1 year and half. in fact from 6 months age our relationship became so complicated and it was my fault! last week he told me that he wants to be just friend…since next week he gonna go to another country, where he studies, and he won’t come back till 3 months I’m really confused about what should I do! :| So if you find any efficient way…tell me plZ!
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