I was just diagnosed with this. (BPD) my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years just broke up with me because I pushed him away. I was so scared of the thought of losing him, I lost him. For 2 months he said “you’re driving me nuts. If you don’t stop blowing me up and checking up on me, we’re going to break up. Is contacting me now worth losing me for the rest of our lives?” He told me I made him do it and now says there will never be an “us” again. No more contacting him, social media efforts, and no talking to his friends again. He said if I didn’t leave him alone, he’d get a restraining order. I want him back so badly and don’t know what i can do to know that I’ve realized what I did wrong and can and will give him his space; though I’ve promised it several times before. I know he’s the one for me and its killing me knowing that everything could’ve been different if I would have just listened. I knew what to do…STOP. But my insecurities wouldn’t let me put down my phone and blow him up. Now I can’t contact him…I don’t know what to do.
Saving a marriage is a team effort, but there are things you can do on your own. Klare Heston, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, says, “Trying to save your marriage alone is an uphill battle, but you can certainly start the process by yourself. Improve your communication, curtail your defensiveness, and identify what you contribute to your marital problems. Consider seeing a therapist if you are too overwhelmed.”
You have the attraction back by this point already from the previous steps, so most of what you need to do now is just get out of your own way, and let the getting-back-together process happen on its own. In other words, you need to know what mistakes to AVOID, to prevent yourself from sabotaging the getting-back-together process, which is supposed to happen fairly naturally after the first 7 steps.
a lack of respect on either side. If you or your ex call each other names, belittle each other's accomplishments, or say disparaging things about one another to your family or friends, then there is no respect in that relationship. These are all features of an emotionally abusive relationship. Find someone who shows you the respect you deserve, and commit to treating him or her with respect as well.
Give yourself permission to stop trying when you're ready. No matter how good things used to be, or how much one party wants the relationship to keep going, sometimes it's clear that it has to end. If you've already put in effort trying to save the relationship, and you no longer feel love or the will to try to reignite it, it's OK not to force yourself to keep trying. Don't spend months or years dragging it out and criticizing yourself for not being able to make it work. It's OK to choose happiness over self-sacrifice. When one person stops participating in the relationship, it's better for both people if it ends.
Hi Desireen. Nope…you are not crazy! You just want to figure out how to make things feel better for yourself and improve your chances. Its OK that you may have made some mistakes. He made plenty to. We all do. What matters is going forward and what you do. So its good to have an ex recovery plan, both for yourself and also doing things to optimize your chances of getting your ex back. My program is all about that. Go to my site’s home page to learn more about my ebooks, tools, resources, and many other things!
So my ex boyfriend and I were together for a year and 4 months. Honestly he was obsessed and so was I but i became too comfortable. He was my world and I never thought he would leave me. He would always chase after me and showering me with love and it made me the happiest person alive. One day he got tired of fighting with me and he dumped. told me he didnt want me anymore. I looked like a fool, i begged i cried i ran after him but he just walked away with his head up. it was so painfully. he blocked me on everything so i dont have contact but if i text him he will usually unblock to read my messages. it hurts so bad and as messed up as it is i still want him. I want him back so badly it kills.
Oh my lord Jesus, you know everything, what is going inside me and what sufferings I have. Lord my prayers to you to save my relation with Him . My prayers to you to make him understand how much I care and asks for him, my prayers to you to make him feel everything what I am going through. My prayers to you to make him free from the anger which he possess . I surrender to you my lord . You are the only one who can help me . My faith in you is strong as my existence as pure as my thoughts. My givings to you my Lord. Help me Lord. Send him back in my life . Please , please , please 🙁 .. Help me Lord, help me.
In the next few weeks, you need to have a new man interested in you. Find one or fabricate one, but by all means you have a new flame according to anyone that he may know. You don’t need to announce it in smoke signals, but if you are asked, smile and discreetly say that yes, you are dating someone. It may sound nuts, but it does help you gain the piece of mind. If you’re not ready to date and still missing him every second of every day, that’s fine. I understand. But HE doesn’t have to know that.
We also know that there are exceptions. There are relationships that probably should not stay together, such as those with physical violence, cruel and ongoing verbal abuse, extreme anger management issues, or long-term unaddressed substance abuse, for example. If you're in a situation like that, please eek the help of your local crisis management center.