I believe it was James Carville, Bill Clinton's political adviser, who said, "If you say three things, you've said nothing at all." Well, I've said more than three things here, but then, I'm not giving a political speech. And you are not going to find the answer to saving your marriage in a single idea. What you have in front of you, though, are the first steps in getting to a happy marriage.
So my ex gf broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. She told me she just didn’t feel that way about me anymore. Her friend said I wasn’t trusting enough and a little to controlling. We were together for almost 2 years and we were both madly in love. She has another guy she hangs out with but i know she didn’t leave me for him. We can have a normal conversation. She’s even started it once or twice via text. How can I get her back. I love her more then I ever thought I could
So this girl broke up with me last week and during the weekend I was really drunk, and I was talking to someone about how I felt and I said some pretty messed up things that are just terrible, and I don’t remember who the person was but the person that I told everything too they told her and I up finding out Tuesday or Monday and she was just really upset she told my friend everything and the things I said were really really messed up they were really wrong and I didn’t think about what I said I just said things because I was so drunk and now I just want her back. But now I just gotta face the consequences and I can’t do it myself I just need someones help, but anything contact me at 862-812-9341. I also heard she made her mind up already, it’s only been a week so I don’t think so, but she did block me on everything someone just help me, she meant the world to me.

I talked with lots of my friends and dating gurus before locating Michael Fiore regarding how to get an ex girlfriend back. “Come on… She was NOT for you.” said by one of my closest friend. Many friends suggested me to MOVE ON. At 29, I have no intentions to dating someone new because I knew I have deepest connection with my girlfriend that I can’t build with any new girl.
I lost the love of my life over something stupid that I did. Long story short, I lied about my age. Although she didn’t care about my real age, it was the lie I carried on for a year that was part of the reason we broke up. She came from an emotionally abusive marriage and had baggage from that. And two kids who I came to love dearly – and who got along very well with mine. I know that she had issues stemming from childhood, specifically trust. But she’s an awesome girl – the love of my life, my parallel. But I messed up – I lied. Honestly, the lie started because I was afraid that she would be turned off when we first met (she’s 28 and I’m 48)…so I told her I was 44. Every time she brought up age stuff, I steered the conversation away. I wanted to tell her so many times but I knew that if I did that would end things. So I let it go and my heart is breaking because of it. It was her abusive ex-husband who cued her in and she defended me to him until I admitted it. Now, she won’t have anything to do with me. The breakup ended VERY BADLY. Probably the worst I’ve ever experience. Yelling/screaming/crying/etc. She said she can’t believe a word I said and felt like I used her for sex. She said that if I ever contacted her again that I’d be sorry. So I haven’t. At first after the breakup I did what everyone does – texted/called/emailed. I didn’t know of these steps. At any rate, she won’t talk and the last time we did I was met with extreme hostility. I know this one is done. Had I followed this advice there might have been a chance. But I doubt even that. Lessons learned the hardest of all ways. I wanted to marry her. It would have been my second and her third. I love her with all my heart and soul – she his my parallel. The yin to my yang.

Focus on patterns. Rather than blaming each other, consider how patterns from each of you has led to problems. For instance, maybe you consistently forget to call home when you're going to be late, and your partner then gets upset when you don't show up. Consequently, you punish him or her the next time by not calling home, which is a cyclical pattern. When you bring it up, focus on how to solve the problem, such as "I will try to be better about calling home, if maybe you can forgive me the few times that I forget. Or maybe you can send me a text near the end of the day, so I will be more aware of what time it is."[10]

Don't try to save a relationship that's toxic or abusive. There's really no way to work on a relationship that's based on toxic patterns or abuse. No amount of working on communication techniques or trying to reignite the romance is going to make things better long-term. You may feel that you're getting something out of the relationship, but you have a lot more to gain by being free.
The wife of a patient of mine told him she was leaving him because he bought a lamp without first consulting him. When I asked to see her, she explained to me that it was not about the lamp. The problem was he never consulted her about matters that affected both of them. Although she had spoken to him many times, he truly had not understood her. It is not uncommon for someone to persistently misunderstand a spouse if he is asked to do things that seem foreign to him, possibly because of the dynamics of the family in which he grew up. No matter how many times she had spoken to him he had not taken her seriously. In the setting of my office, however, it was possible, finally, to get through to him. He had never intended to ignore her and had not realized that that was what he was doing. They had had a failure to communicate. This problem could be managed.
For that reason you should look to keep your texts fun, light and positive. Leave the heavy stuff (mentions of the breakup and getting back together) for later on. You shouldn’t be mentioning those things in your texts because BEFORE those topics can be mentioned, you first need time to change how she feels about you. Only once her feelings about you are more positive, will you then be able to see good results from discussing the breakup and the potential of getting back together. Why?
And you always want what you think is good for you. So how can you make yourself better? You can start from appearance (new haircut, new clothes, get some muscles, eat healthier, etc) and a good attitude/be open-minded. Join meditation/yoga/learn new things. Upgrade yourself with your outer appearance and inner attitude. Be the best version of yourself.
So a perceived ability to attract other women is a GOOD thing when it comes to how to get your ex-girlfriend back, because it boosts your mate value in your ex’s mind. The key word there is “perceived”. Perceived ability to attract other women. You don’t have to actually be able to attract lots of new women, you just have to get your ex THINKING that you could.
At this point, any negative feelings or opinions your ex had have most likely dissipated. He’s forgotten about the bad times, about the fights, about what went wrong. Human beings have a tendency to idealize the past. So once you’re “past,” he will only remember the good stuff and the bad stuff will drift further into the recesses of his mind. And it won’t be long before he starts to wonder what you’re up to…
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