my bf and I were in love. we were happy and everything was perfect. then one day he asked me to sext him…I told him I was uncomfortable with doing that and I broke up with him. I kind of went into a depression. some days I felt suicidal. he started dating my “friend” but they don’t seem happy. they’ve been dating since October and they haven’t kissed or anything. I miss him so incredibly much and everyday I regret breaking up with him. he and I are still best friends, and I told him I still love him (even though he’s dating someone). all he said was “I don’t know what to say…” and I cry myself to sleep every night blaming myself for what happened. he’s a great guy and I need him back. I don’t cut myself or do anything like that, but I’m getting worse. I need help. does anyone have any advice?!
The best way to optimize your chances of getting your ex bf back is to become Ungettable Girl.  You want to increase your value in his eyes and also make it difficult for him to reach you, talk to you, and see you.  This is just a small part of becoming the Ungettable Girl.  It’s also about making yourself beautiful in his eyes from afar.  He can see you, but now it is at a distance (through Snap chat, Facebook, etc).   Slowly over time, your ex boyfriend will crave you and you will do things to ensure that he feels that craving every day by using little jealousy ploys and rumors and chance encounters.  Your ex boyfriend loves nothing more than a good chase – so give him one. 

Me and my boyfriend had been together 4 4months,the thing is that we stay in different countries we had this thing that disturbed our relationship were he is accusing me of cheating but I wasn’t he said guys call me a lot n I don’t tell them 2 back off, so since he travelled back it has Been one problem 2 another teLling how he hate me and he needs space I will beg him and we will come back again but few days ago he told me he needed space 4 now that my love is affecting his life and work that I should move on with my life I still love him and don’t know how 2 apply these rules since we are not close 2 each other and he said he will be back by septemeber help me 2 make this work what do u advice me 2 do thanks
I’m sorry Eileen, i keep bugging…but he thinks I’m playing mind games w him bc I messed up in the beginning and it was a complete misunderstanding… and said if I don’t get in touch with him that he will find someone else to keep himself from getting depressed. It’s funny bc ever since I been giving him space, he been trying to text and call me alot…this guy is very difficult since I used to push him away bc I felt like I was not good enough for him…I’m trying to b positive
She texts me saying she cant talk and to meet her at her locker at the end of the day to “Talk”. Im not stupid. I knew what was going to happen. And sure enough when i went to talk to her. She told me that she didnt want me to be dating a girl that wasnt gonna give me what i wanted… even though i clearly told her i didnt care. I tried explaining myself. Trying everything in my will to not lose something that was so perfect just 24 hours before this had happened. I want to tell her how i really feel seeing as this talk took less than a minute and im not taking it very well. Hard to concentrate in school and life just sucks without her in it. Im not fully reliant on her but it was such a good thing. til i asked her.
We ran into each other randomly about five years later. I was stunned to see him (he was in my house of all places, someone brought him to a party there and he had no idea he’d be seeing me!). I could barely speak I was so nervous. We chatted for a bit, then he messaged me on Facebook a few days later and we talked for hours and hours, I was positive that this was the beginning of round two for us, but then he went dark again. A few more years went by and we ran into each other again. Once again I had soaring high hopes… and then was crushed again when nothing came of it (I found out later he had a girlfriend at the time).
Wow that was a lot huh? I mean, we haven’t even started contacting our exes yet have we? Well, right now is when we begin that step. Are you excited? Alright, there is a lot of debate about this step. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. So, what is the best method?
Okay so me & my ex boyfriend broke up like a couple months ago. Me and him have been dating for over a year. Ever since we got into high school he changed. He’s like every other guy now. During our relationship, he would cry when I left or if I took the bracelet he gave me off. I just really want him back, I still do love him. I honestly need to know what to do. Help me please
My gilfriend just broke up with me. 5 days ago. She said through text and phone conversation that she was done . I asked for my stuff back that was left in her car.She took like 2 daus just to give it back. When we met up to exchange items. She gave me mine and disnt want her stuff back. After i realized that i was wrong for pushing her to say shes done i apologize with voicemail, email,and text. I only acted like an ass to her in the beginning thatpushed her to this point was because when i was upset at somthing she did i felt as if she ignored it as she didnt care to want to know why i was even upset. So i light weight metally abused her by talking shit and sending her shitty fowl mouth text messages. I only disnt it cause when i tries to express my feeling beofr the whole blow up ,sje kelt ignoring the facr that i was uoset about somthing.by ignoring text,call,and i was just building up more anger to be provoke into a shit head. Do stjff that was going to get her attentuon but was hurting her emotionally, mentally inside. She didnt want her stuff back and has continhed to ignore m. Completley as if i dont exists. I feel she never want to own up when shes wrong but she always expect me to right away. Or else. We were together for 8 months and she has to kids 7 and 9 . i feel like why throw 8 months down the drain like that. Atleas give a consideration that i was a faithful dude down to be in it for the long hall . We even talked about having more kid and getting married at some point. I mis her and never wantes it to be a permanent break up. I know if i pull at her more while she still mad and bitter shes just going to pul away more. On top of that ahe has the type of girlfriends who like bashing dudes cause thwy dont have one or not satisfied qjth the ones they have. She would always tell her friends about me and how much she loved me and even tod them all about our sexual life. Her mom and dad like me iv been around her family and every one of her family functions. Now im wondering damn is she really done. Or is she just so pissed off tell she hates me right now. Should i just totally forget she exist and wait until she comes around or should i fight for more. When she gave me back my stuff she got in her car but disnt leave right away its ike she waiting for 10 sec . I ignored it and got into my car and left cause my ego came into play juat as hers was when she said she was done for good. Help me.understand this.
Dear God, i know you know me who i am, i just want to say thank you for everything even im on the trials and suffering now to my boyfriend hopefully everything will be okay,God can ask you a favor i hope even his a muslim and im a christian, i hope his accept me as i am, then you make our relationship Good always his have no time na for me God but i hope you touch his heart and mind to remember me always and belong to his life everyday God bring our relation uncomplicated, i love him so much God you know what i have feel to him. God im just hoping his like before when we know each other. i need his care and love God i need your guidance everyday my heart so weak because i always mind him i hope God you touch him heart always to remember me love me and miss me always. i love you Jesus thank you for everything i expect your miracle to our relationship. Amen!!!
Im a lesbian and was with this girl for four years going 5 on july.she ask space for 3months no communication,no seeing each other so I gave her space but i broke my promise not to call,text and see her. I called her 12 times and ive been texting her also.and worst thing i did, iwent to her office so she saw me and ask what are you doing here, i told her i miss you i wanna see you.and i also ask her when she will come back and if she still love me. I keep on forcing her to answer until she pissed. So i went home and received text messages ftom her saying im not happy with what you did. I starting to hate you and you ask me if i still love you no i dont love you anymore. Now i dont know what to do? I dont wanna lose her.. pleasehelp me what to do not to lose her and to love me again..please
I was just diagnosed with this. (BPD) my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years just broke up with me because I pushed him away. I was so scared of the thought of losing him, I lost him. For 2 months he said “you’re driving me nuts. If you don’t stop blowing me up and checking up on me, we’re going to break up. Is contacting me now worth losing me for the rest of our lives?” He told me I made him do it and now says there will never be an “us” again. No more contacting him, social media efforts, and no talking to his friends again. He said if I didn’t leave him alone, he’d get a restraining order. I want him back so badly and don’t know what i can do to know that I’ve realized what I did wrong and can and will give him his space; though I’ve promised it several times before. I know he’s the one for me and its killing me knowing that everything could’ve been different if I would have just listened. I knew what to do…STOP. But my insecurities wouldn’t let me put down my phone and blow him up. Now I can’t contact him…I don’t know what to do.
Studies have shown that 90% of rebound relationships don’t work out in the long run so the odds are probably in your favor. There is no reason to start harassing him or the girl he is dating. Under no circumstances will you contact him. In fact, DO NOT CONTACT HIM OR HER. The further away from the breakup your ex gets the more nostalgic he will become about your relationship. This means he will forget the bad times and remember the good times.

A true apology should be structured as follows: regret, responsibility, and remedy. The first step indicates that you are sorry for what you've done. The second step puts the responsibility on you without making excuses or blaming someone else. The final step offers to make it right or change your behavior in the future.[15] For example: "I just wanted to apologize for when I blew you off all those times that you wanted to spend with me. You must've really felt neglected. I'm going to try really hard from now on, to make it a point to do more things with you so you won't feel like that again. I'm glad you gave me your point of view to realize that."
So it’s been about 4 months since me and my x broke up. We broke up because she got jealous about other women who were giving me attention, and i lied about one of these girls at a party and i just got too comfortable and didn’t show interest. Well then after we broke up i made out with one of the girls and i told her about it and it devestated her. I told her the kiss meant nothing and I was thinking about her when it happened. We’ve hung out like 7 times since the break up and things got pretty affectionate 4 out of the 7 times. It’s just been a rough past summer for me in general with my grandpa passing away and adjusting to all this change. I do love the girl and I’m attempting to get her back by going to her school which is an hour away and serenading her wih a guitar right on campus haha. We’ve broken up before about 2 years ago and I did the same thing just outside of her house. What do you think of this? She has me blocked on facebook and snapchat, yet we still keep in touch through text and phone calls and shes friends with my mom on facebook still haha. And I still remain very close with her family

Start over. Click the reset button. Whatever he did wrong – get over it. Forgive yourself if you've made mistakes and forgive him, you are both guilty in one way or another, and reminding each other about it won't help. You can't get back together if you are enemies, so stay close to each other by forgiving. Let the past go. Every day is a new opportunity for you to have a better life with a great guy, maybe it's him – and now that you're starting over, you've learned from your mistakes, but you can continue on only when you manage to forgive.
Saving a marriage is a team effort, but there are things you can do on your own. Klare Heston, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, says, “Trying to save your marriage alone is an uphill battle, but you can certainly start the process by yourself. Improve your communication, curtail your defensiveness, and identify what you contribute to your marital problems. Consider seeing a therapist if you are too overwhelmed.”
Regardless of what's going on in your marriage, you still know in your heart that you can talk to your husband about how you truly feel. "We all crave acceptance for who we really are," says Beam. "Not pretending to be what the other person wants us to be is crucial. If both people continue to offer the other safety to be transparent without judgment or rejection, their relationship is highly susceptible to being saved," says Beam.
Avoiding contact is not just a passive-aggressive way to make your ex miss you. It gives you time to do the things you need to do to prepare yourself for a new relationship (whether it's with your ex or someone new!). Take time during this month to get to know yourself as an individual and to work on areas that you may have let slip during your relationship with your ex. If you contributed to the breakup, this is the time to pinpoint your relationship weaknesses and do the hard work to improve as a human being.
The woman who was in a similarly awful marriage was the sole support of her husband, who did not work. She also took care of his child by another marriage on weekends, when he was typically not home. He too was regularly unfaithful, occasionally violent, and vulgar, and insulting all the time. He rarely wished for sex, but demanded it when he felt in the mood. He routinely expressed contempt for his wife. She finally left him and entered into psychotherapy. A week later she told me she was thinking of going back to him. “I love him,” she said, by way of explanation. She only stopped considering returning to the marriage a few months later when she met someone else.
Dear heavenly father, as I come to you today to ask for guidance and strength to strengthen my relationship Lord I can’t do this alone. I Need Your Loving Arms to keep us focused on you through this difficult time lord. We both have extremely busy schedules so it’s hard for us to see each other Lord and during those busy times we tend to argue more when we deeply love each other Lord come into our lives show us what we need to do to continue going the way that you want us to go, Lord. In Jesus name Amen.
Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround. They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error.

My boyfriend and I are in complicated situation, we want to be together but we can’t because of his mother, so we are just being friends now and he says that we are more than that but less then couples. I don’t know what to think cause’ sometime it feels like he doesn’t want to talk to me or that he’s only giving me short answers when we text but when you skype, its a whole different situation. When we skype, it feels like that we were still going out and so its confusing me so much. We would still be together if his mum didn’t poke her nose in our business but I understand that he’s respecting her wants but it hurts me. She think that she is doing a good thing when it’s causing so much pain for me to not even be able to see him in person, I need help to know what to do please.


I enjoyed reading your above article and while most of it is useful to me, my situation is a little more complex. The ex that I want back isn’t a recent ex. we broke up in high school. Well I say broke up but more like I just ignored him (give me a break I was 16). He didnt treat me bad and neither of us cheated on each other. He was my first real boyfriend and I realized that this could be way more then I was emotionally prepared for. After high school I emailed him apologizing for my stupid behavior and immaturity but he didn’t reply. Karma at its finest! I told myself then that ‘well I trided, move on’ Recently while reading another article he came into mind and hasn’t left. He has consumed my brain. He lives on the other side of the country and has a girlfriend (I can add Facebook stalker to my resume now) I know I hurt him but I feel like we have “unfinished business”. How do I get his attention again?How do I make him want to contact me even if it is to tell me to go pound sand?
Again, this is risky since there is a higher chance of him saying no. However, if you two were really making a lot of progress via texting and you really think he is feeling the same way you are about your current relationship then the “I was in the neighborhood method” may do the trick for you. The obvious advantage is that you get an instant date/meet up! 

I hold many one-on-one consultations. The cost of such a consultation is $250 per hour, but would you think that an hour is enough to fix your relationship? Of course not! Time is a ruthless thing and it doesn’t allow people to talk about all of the nuances of their relationship. Important information can’t fit into one or two hours, and my clients simply can’t get all of the necessary knowledge from me in such a short period of time.

 With Kelly and Greg, it was Kelly who started the process. She found me on the internet , downloaded Save the Marriage and began the process of saving the marriage. . . by herself. Greg was still bent on a divorce, but Kelly still had hope. . . and took action. Fairly quickly, Greg was less insistent on the divorce, but still assumed it was their only option. Eventually, he agreed to spend that hour with me, in person. . . leaving their divorce attorneys waiting.
Thanks for this post, Jason. After I read it I had a little hope that me and my ex-boyfriend COULD get back together. But then I scrolled down to the comments and I read everyone else’s comments, apprehensions, fears, emotional and psychological hardships that they’re going through and I wondered — if this is how a person is making us feel, is it worth it?
Recently found your blog after going through some weird “fwb to dating to him getting himself a gf” kinda situation for over a year now. Even tho I loved him I now realize I love myself more and I won’t put myself in this situation again. Thank you for putting things in a different perspective for me. It’s helped me out greatly and I’ve been more focused on myself now. Thank you!
Sitting on the couch eating pizza and playing the latest video game or watching football is not going to get you your ex-girlfriend back. If you sincerely want to rekindle your romance, it’s time to get up and do something about it. You just don’t want to do what she’s expecting. Your ex wants to see you falling apart right now. She expects you to scream, yell, throw things, pitch a fit and take any drastic measures possible to try and get her to change her mind about leaving you. She’s looking for evidence that you care about her and probably looking to justify her reasons for leaving you.
The relationship is going really well in the beginning. You are seeing each other often and enjoy one another. You begin to prioritize him over other things going on in your life, like hobbies or nights out with friends. You tell yourself you are comfortable and don’t need to be “out there.” Everything is just the way you like it until … for some reason, you feel him pulling away.
If you do happen to hear through the grapevine that your ex is seeing someone new, try not to jump to conclusions or let jealousy set in. By no means should you do anything to try to thwart a new relationship. Let your ex have some time to find out if you are really the one; you don't want to force a person to be with you who really wants to be with someone else.
My relationship with my ex boyfriend, wasn’t perfect but we made it work for nearly 2 years. He’s ex came back into his life and was complaining to him about her life, making is seem like everyone hates her and that she was thinking about killing herself. He felt sorry for her and they started talking and that led to him having feelings for her again. He told him that he was having feelings for her and then we started talking about us and I ended up telling him that we were expecting, I kinda didn’t want to tell him, but I did. At first he was kinda excited and then he told her and she “nearly” killed herself over that and then he freaked out on me and left. I was/am scared of my child growing up without their father, I grow up with parents hating each other and only got to see my dad every once in awhile. I don’t want that for my child and he knows that and agrees, but yet he left. Anyways, I turned to Dr. Alex for help and he has helped me. All you have to do is believe in his work and trust that he will help you through a break up and bring your ex back if its meant to be. You can reach him through his website above. He can help you with just about anything.
After the breakup I did the whole crazy ex girlfriend thing then just stopped talking to him completely for 3months. We started talking again when we both turned up at our club unexpectantly and I apologised and asked him to hang out. But, I didnt feel like he was hearing me so I full on lost it a few times. And now we are back to not talking for a month now but we still see each other around at our club. I’d also made the mistake of telling him that I wanted to start the relationship from scratch and he baulked at that.
Today, I’ve got the usual habit to clear his Hotmail inbox and I realized that he’d booked two tickets to a horror late night movie yesterday. And at this point of time, I might have guess that he’s watching it with the girl whom he previously had dinner with. Somehow, I felt that he might have taken a slight interest in this girl colleague and have decided to move on and try out dating the new girl since he’s so firm with his decision on ending off the relationship with me and see no future in us after all that we’ve been through and in such a short period of time?
Occasional conflict is a part of life, according to New York-based psychologist Susan Silverman. But if you and your partner feel like you're starring in your own nightmare version of the movie Groundhog Day -- i.e. the same lousy situations keep repeating day after day -- it's time to break free of this toxic routine. When you make the effort, you can lessen the anger and take a calm look at underlying issues.
Regardless of what's going on in your marriage, you still know in your heart that you can talk to your husband about how you truly feel. "We all crave acceptance for who we really are," says Beam. "Not pretending to be what the other person wants us to be is crucial. If both people continue to offer the other safety to be transparent without judgment or rejection, their relationship is highly susceptible to being saved," says Beam.
Please help me and my boyfriend we didn’t have a fight but I took all my anger and stress out on him for three weeks straight and now he can’t be happy because he is hurt. I need your loving and kindness to help us it’s got to the point where if this feeling that he has ( that’s getting worse )can’t get better then we will have to end our relatinship. We both love each other and we want this relatinship to work, it’s our fist real relatinship and we want this to work. I’ve been praying and hoping please St Jude give my boyfriend the strength to move past this feeling I’m begging you.
One night in 2013, she asked if she could stay over, and I more or less spilled my guts to her and admitted my intense feelings. She said she didn’t reciprocate. It would take about nine months of hardcore wooing before Mary finally said she had feelings for me. In 2016, three years after that night and almost ten years after our first date, I asked her to marry me and she said yes.
I really like the links from the first comment. I think as long as the two people love each other it doesn't matter what they did. unless its cheating. Trust is hard for me to understand. MY bf doesn't trust me and even though he has done things to break my trust in different ways I feel like I know him and can understand he's just a human and we make some mistakes sometimes. I try and change how he wants me to, to be a better person and show him I do care but somehow its not ever enough. I do not know how I can show him I care. He wants a big grand gesture but I do not have money or an idea of what to do. He said something like seeing him at work would make him feel like I care but when I didn't do u it his time limit that I didn't even know about he got mad. I just want to show him he is special but every little thing doesn't mean anything to him anymore. I can say I felt like how he describes because he hurt me and I didn't care about anything but distressing helped me see more clearly and what I needed to. I think that's what's going on with him because he hasn't been able to distress.
I broke up with my gf for an extremely obvious reason – she didn’t love ME. Girls, please. I need true love, not a fakened up “story”. It was my first relationship, and I didn’t get a new girlfriend since then. We didn’t have any sexual contact either. But it was going on for 1.5 years. I loved her, but eventually she killed all my feelings towards her. I was trying to look sexy, to smell amazing, was extremely kind. Was probably the best she could deserve. Yet she didn’t understand it…now I just want to ask dear, dear girls – there are people like me who you never notice that are looking for a serious relationship. Please notice them and pay attention to how you behave with them…especially do you love your bf’s or not. Right now I see what a jerky girl she is, for lying to me and faking up so much stuff just to claim “oh look I have the best bf ever” but never loved me in real. Seriously care for what you do girls, please. I don’t want any more experiences like this bullcrap full of lies. Thanx in advance.
please save my relationship with my boyfriend of 13 years now we have a child. i need your prayer so strong some people are interfering in our relationship telling him that i’m not good enough for him and they were not there when we were struggling . now since these problems started he is not getting the write job, he borrows money every where he is not even aware he is messing up his life.i love him we all make mistakes but all of us deserve to be loved by the write people.i trust that God will help me cause i pray for him everyday he is a good person i know him.but these people are helping him destroy his life. he no longer visits his family,his mother had a stroke and he cant even support her. those people who say i’m wrong for him their lives are bad they want him marry someone who left him long ago go and get married because she is educated ,they even told the woman to give him a child he will be hers and she did. my problem is they are doing it for the write reasons they want the guy because they think he will marry her what about me i also want to get married she choose another man @least she got married.the girl new i was there she started by sending him massages telling him that she is sorry that has been going on for 6 years its only now that he responded so his distant family took him and told him that they r going to see a friend that’s when it started pray for our relationship in the name of the father,the son and the holly spirit amen.
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