Asking This Question Will Make Your Relationship Better
— Asking This Question Will Make Your Relationship Better
Wondering how to create a strong, lasting romantic relationship? Sick of flings, hookups and tinder dates that go nowhere? I’m going to tell you the one question you need to start asking that will make your relationship better, right now.
Hi, I’m author and relationship coach Brad Browning. I’ve helped thousands across the globe build the love life they want with the tools they have. There are no miracle cures here, just tested and proven advice that takes the guesswork out of dating.
With that in mind, let’s get right into it. Here’s the single question that will make your relationship better: What do you want?
At the end of the day, this is the only question that matters in a relationship and in life. What makes life worth living and how are you going to go out there and get it? And here’s the important part, so listen up…The person you’re asking this question isn’t your partner…it’s yourself.
Let me explain. I find that one of the biggest problems in relationships today is unmet expectations. Of course there’s the obvious problem: our partners don’t always live up to the expectations we have of them and vice versa. But let’s take a step back because, believe it or not, most relationships don’t even make it to this point. Most relationships fall apart because we don’t actually understand our own expectations.
How can we expect our partner to give us what we want if we don’t even know what that is? Over the course of this video I’m going to do my best to help you figure out what you want and how to bring that information to your relationship in a constructive way.
How to save your marriage
So how do you know what you want? Asking yourself the question is just the first step. You’re going to need to go a little deeper if you want it to become clear.
First, let’s look at your relationship as it currently is. Chances are your partner is already giving you many of the things that you want, or you wouldn’t be together. This can be everything from unconditional love, emotional support, a shoulder to cry on, physical touch, and the list goes on. Basically make a list of all the things that you get from your partner–the things that would be missing if they were suddenly ripped from your life. It’s important to take note of these benefits. Gratitude is especially important when you’re looking to improve your lot in life. You need to appreciate what you have before you can ask for more.
Next, let’s look at the things you want but aren’t getting. A good way to find these out is to look at recent conflicts in your relationship and work backwards from there. Think about the last fight you had. Typically we fight about stupid, small stuff because it’s easier than fighting about what’s really going on. For example, if it was over them not doing a specific chore, chances are what you’re really mad at is feeling like you’re not a priority. If the problem was them interrupting you when you talk, you’re really mad that they aren’t listening.
Some of these wants may include a deeper level of intimacy, someone you can really trust and rely on no matter what, or the ability to really be yourself without fear of being judged.
If you’re having trouble sorting out your real wants and needs from this exercise, don’t worry. It can be difficult to access these feelings but it gets easier with practice. Deep down, you already know what you need. You just need to tap into it.
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