Make Your Ex Change Their Mind And Come Back
— Make Your Ex Change Their Mind And Come Back
Did you blow it? Worried your perfect relationship is over for good?
I’ve got good news–getting your ex back is definitely possible…just not the way you think. In this video I’m going to tell you why begging and pleading only drives your ex further away and what you should do instead to make them change their mind and come back to you.
Hello YouTube! Brad Browning here. They call me Breakup Brad because I’ve been studying the psychology behind breakups for over ten years now. So, if you are hoping to get a second chance with your ex, and you want them to fall head over heels for you and beg to have you back… keep watching this video all the way to the end.
So why exactly don’t begging and pleading work?
If you think about it for a second, you’ll understand why. First, when you beg and plead you’re coming across as weak, pathetic, and needy. No matter what reason your ex gave for breaking up with you, these traits aren’t attractive and will only reinforce their decision to break up with you.
Second, you’re wasting an opportunity. Chances are, after breaking up, your interactions with your ex are limited. You’re not talking every day like you used to. This means that every time you have a conversation you have the opportunity to rekindle positive feelings in your ex about you and about the relationship. Begging and pleading is not positive–it’s actually confrontational. You’re forcing them to say “no” to you and you’re building a negative association in their brain so that every time they see a text or phone call from you, they’re filled with dread rather than excitement and happiness.
But what about apologies? I get this question pretty much every day. Should you apologize to your ex if you want them back? The answer is almost always no. There are some exceptions here. If the breakup was due to a huge error on your part like cheating or lying, or if you said some really negative things to your ex during the breakup then an apology may be warranted.
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Just be aware that an apology is doing the exact opposite of what we want to do when trying to win back an ex…which is to leave the past in the past and move forward. Apologizing means living in the past, bringing up old pain and reminding your ex of the reasons that they dumped you in the first place. So if you’re going to apologize to your ex, make sure that it’s absolutely necessary. Otherwise it does more harm than good.
The truth is, the only proven way to re-attract your ex is to put the breakup behind you, build new positive associations and make them excited every time they see you or even think about you.
That, as always, begins with No Contact. If you’ve seen any of my videos, chances are you know how No Contact works. Basically it’s about keeping your distance from your ex for at least 30 days following the breakup. This allows them some time and space to miss you and it causes the negative feelings that come with any breakup to fade away.
No Contact on its own is not going to work, especially if your ex is particularly stubborn or upset at how the break up went down. In that case, you need to take action to actually change your ex’s mind if you want to win them back. We already talked about how apologizing, begging and pleading don’t work. So what can you do if you can’t convince your ex to come back?
My first piece of advice is to Be Your Best Self.
*** More from Brad Browning:
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