Using “No Contact” When You Still Live With Your Ex
— Using “No Contact” When You Still Live With Your Ex
Hey guys, Breakup Brad here. In this video, I’ll be answering a question that I get asked every single day: how to use my “No Contact” technique when you still live with your ex, or have to see them often at work or school.
Now, I don’t think I need to fully explain what the No Contact method is… suffice to say that if you want to get back together with your ex, then employing a period of No Contact for around 30 days is almost always the best strategy. I’m serious about that, folks… for 99% of situations, No Contact is going to be your best bet. I promise it works extremely well, and you can look at the comments section below some of my other No Contact videos here on YouTube to see how many people have used this strategy successfully.
No Contact is so effective for several reasons, all of which are grounded in basic human psychology. In summary, by employing No Contact, you’re essentially “shocking” your ex into realizing what life is like when you’re not around… they’re going to miss you a lot more if you go “cold turkey” and suddenly disappear from their life entirely than they would if you continued to speak or see one another regularly. No Contact also puts some pressure on your ex, sending them the message that you’re moving on to bigger and better things without them…. Unless they change their mind about the breakup.
Now, what if you still live with your ex? Or what if you have to see them every day because you work together or go to the same school? Can you still use the No Contact strategy at all? If so, how can you modify No Contact to suit these kinds of situations?
The answer to the former question is YES, you can — and usually should — still use No Contact to some degree even if you still live with your ex or have to see them daily. It will need to be more of a “Limited Contact” technique, though.
How to save your marriage
So if you still need to see your ex daily for whatever reason, the first and most important thing you need to do is avoid showing your emotions around your ex. The last thing you want to be doing when you’re with your ex is to get emotional, break down in tears, or lash out in anger. If you are feeling overly emotional, try to get out of the house and hang out at a friend’s while you get through the worst of the initial heartache. Generally, just do your absolute best to avoid showing any kind of negative emotions when you’re around your ex. Be positive and upbeat, not depressed or upset.
Another thing you MUST avoid is confrontation with your ex. Do NOT let yourself get dragged in to any kind of argument or shouting match with your ex. It might be tempting at times, and your ex might even try to start something, but you definitely want to get out of that kind of situation and avoid any kind of argument or negative interaction. Similarly, you also want to avoid any kind of “serious discussions” with your ex… don’t talk about the breakup, your relationship, your future together, and so on. This is not the time to be having those “serious talks” with your ex… all that will do is remind your ex of the problems in your past relationship and the reasons why they wanted to break up in the first place.
So, those are all things you want to avoid talking with your ex about. But, because you still want to get the benefit of using the No Contact strategy, you’ll ideally want to get out of the house as much as possible, and limit any conversations with your ex to essential topics only.
Now, don’t completely change your routine just to avoid running into your ex — that would look suspicious, too — just stay busy and try to avoid being at home with your ex around whenever possible. Again, keep those essential conversations friendly, non-confrontational, and positive… and basically only engage where you need to. It’s also usually wise to avoid making any commitments in regards to moving out or finding a new place to live, if you can do so without angering your ex. Sometimes, your ex may want to move out of the house quickly, and you should let them do so without putting up a fight…. Be positive and supportive if you need to be, and don’t fuss over it if your ex seems insistent.